I’m a comic writer now!

commit exactly one heinous crime that haunts you for the rest of your days. never tell a soul. this will allow you to look brooding and mysterious when you sit alone at a bar table in the wee hours of the morning.

Match idea: Reverse hair vs hair. Two bald wrestlers compete, the loser has to wear a ridiculous wig for like six months. I feel like @eviluno.bsky.social could make this happen at a Mystery show.

Look. I’m sorry. #WrestleSky 🤼‍♂️

#Superman #punkrocker #KindnessIsPunk

Fairly certain the adventure for the kids D&D camp I help run was written with AI and no additional work added by the “author” (one of the other DMs also working the event). It’s super frustrating because it makes no sense, NPCs are introduced and disappear, and there’s zero flow.

I think we have to face the possibility that in the next six months, we’re going to see a leaked conversation between Sexy Anime Grok and Texas Senator Ted Cruz

If you're curious, the actual article on Superman from Das Schwarze Korps (the official publication of the SS) can be found translated into English here: share.google/yzZZpMVHBRxj...

Trump would be even more impressed if he could read

Driving that thing like they stole it! (Which I hope they did, lol)

(Eddie Murphy singing) My dog’s always farting all the time Farting all the time Farting all the timmmme

If your go to “gotcha” against this trash heap of a presidency is to compare it to pro wrestling, I immediately imagine you as the type of self serious asshole who farts directly into a brandy snifter before bringing it to your nose for a deep whiff.

Day 156 -- PART 9: Ain't that just the way it goes

happy pride month, i would show you a pic of a rainbow of flower blooms but some asshole rabbit chomped them all down in one night so now i dont know what to do. will the bee balm come back? should i eat the rabbit? are all of lifes pursuits in vain?

I bet this feels really good if you're a fruit

my aunt sent me this picture of her cat before noticing the caption from the show she was watching

No one: … Henry Bloget:

I see Chuck Schumer is being a dipshit again

#JDVance ordering breakfast

trump's brain is stuck back in the 70s/80s so i think there is a *chance* we could get him outta there simply by rolling up beside him and banging a gong

#AEW #AEWDynasty 🤼‍♂️

Could the next bob dylan movie please be about a different guy

Day 82: another Lazy Sunday color comic -- written by special guest, my orange son

I'm Kat Abughazaleh and I'm running for Congress.

Calling a sport you don't watch "sportsball" is such an old joke, I said it 20 years in middle school. The joke has been dead and not funny for a long time. Here are some alternatives. Football: CTE exchange. Soccer: injury improve theatre. Baseball: America's national sleep aid.

How is everyone else not constantly covered in their pets’ hair?

HOBBSAGRAM!! #AEW 🤼‍♂️

Snoop and Tom Brady: say no to hate Kendrick: actually

rooting for the Eagles because it feels like Philly could really use a good riot

Soon the Dip-pocalypse will be i upon us

Super Bowl pot luck prep is underway!

Day 39: Fun, natural fun!

Robert is one of the few people who I trust implicitly. Always on target with his takes.

Tim would’ve been out there with no coat like Bud Grant

justice alito, make me editor of PornHub and let me bundle insane fanfiction about the Illuminati alongside hardcore pornography and i will save this nation

🎵 It goes like this, the fourth, the fifth The minor fall and the major lift The suspended second to the minor seventh flatted fifth and the unresolved tension voicing of the inverted diminished triad The baffled king composing some absolute jazz shite

for the potato fears not death

We collectively need more jamborees in our lives. Not enough jamborees happening.

Brody deserves better #AEWDynamite 🤼‍♂️

That’s a wrap! Wakka wakka wakka! (is hit on the head by a big hook and dragged away)

Dune has the same plot as the Westminster Dog Show: After generations of careful breeding, we have produced this perfect little freak of nature and now it has behavioral issues

So a reminder: It’s not ‘liberals’ saying Hegseth abuses women. It’s his mom. It’s not ‘liberals’ comparing Trump to Hitler. It’s his vice-president. It’s not ‘liberals’ calling Musk a liar and a racist. It’s his own child. For the record.

Happy Thanksgiving!

KILL HIM SWERVE!! KILL HIM DEAD #AEW 🤼‍♂️

I don't know who needs to hear this but *screams hysterically*

McGriddle.