As a Triple Mickey Rewards Member at all Disney Properties I enjoy perks like priority admission to all parks, limited access to The Tunnels, and a special version of Disney+ that lets me stream a 37 minute "Lost Cause" cut of Song of the South with no disclaimer at the beginning

classic Hollywood films where the romantic leads are a 17 year old girl on studio mandated amphetamines and a 46 year old alcoholic (but not really a problem, since he doesn't drive)

upsetting myself reading that when Muhammad Ali died, part of his public memorial was held in a place called The KFC Yum! Center

if one of these things has the temerity to approach me i will chokeslam it so hard its casing shatters and all its components spray out all over the place

eat spicy good and stay hydrated (this is about keeping cool during the heat wave but also good advice in general)

everyone says the new Jackass will be bad but I don't give a shit, show some respect, Johnny Knoxville gave himself brain damage entertaining us through the years

if i'm reading the wikipedia for an animal and they only describe its size in metric units, i know in my heart i will never see one of those bastards IRL

fake pissers would be put off by how close together these urinals are. real pissers wouldn't miss a beat

falling asleep at my desk with 3/4 of a hard on, thought I left this behind in like, high school

Yeah, of course it wouldn't be hard to track down and kill Hello Kitty. Where is the glory in that? No one would respect you. We all make fun of Elmer Fudd, but if he actually caught and killed Bugs Bunny? He'd become a legend. That's a man with dreams

sextape immediately buying a foil wrapped gyro and eating it in front of diogenes' barrel, true Mid-Atlantic dirtbag

going to the local American Legion post with guys who got severe PTSD and/or IED injuries in Iraq and Afghanistan and telling them I got deployed to DC to deter libs dancing around the pool in costume

Had to explain who the guy hosting Fear Factor was to a 26 year old at a bar which led to me having to explain the Jackass franchise and even after I warned her of all it entailed (nudity, doo doo, etc) she was so excited to go home and tell her husband, "We have to watch Jackass"

not worried about micro plastics, that's just more Fiber baby

Ich liebe meine Kultur

if youre ever confused by something the trump admin does simply consider the way that Paulie Gaultieri managed the Feast of St Alzear. Very similar situation

I wanted to believe Tourettes Guy was real so badly, living his life with the kind of emotional abandon I only dream about

I wish the gun range sold targets shaped like Moo Deng so I could visualize what it would feel like to drill a hole in her skull with my Desert Eagle

they shoulda called him Stephen Songheim, cause he wrote a lotta songs!

went to see a youth production of Fame! and half the kids used AI to write their bios. Come on, you can't write 3 sentences where you list other shows you've been in and thank your mom for driving you back and forth from rehearsal?

the entire point of life is to be kind and weird btw

My retirement plan is to irreparably traumatize a few coworkers in their 20s when I die on the clock at whatever food service or retail job I have to get 2 years after I retire from my office job

ok, all in for Mexico now

you'll all be sorry when I am magically transformed into my skyrim guy "thudnar shatterskull" and I FUS RO DAH you into a wall

just had someone call me a "subaru person," which is accurate but still hurts to hear

have to watch a real depressing documentary on tubi every now and again to remind the algorithm i'm a Weird Guy. literally as elaborate as AI needs to get

Once upon a time the line was America First, but over time the message has adapted and matured to Ballroom

this is now the only place I Post so you get to see the pictures I take on hikes

Anchor vs Bollard. SNAPPED IT LIKE A TWIG. #WorldBollardAssociation

one of the more upsetting aspects of Master of the Universe is all the Eternians having a weirdly specific, laissez faire attitude towards destroying bridges and cultural monuments in the name of stopping Skeletor's forces

No religion is real until its been around for at least 1,000 years. Yeah pal, I'll believe Jesus came to America when Mormonism still exists in 2,800

we wish you a merry penis

scored free lunch (found two everything bagels and a full tub of cream cheese spread in a common area of the office)

boom of rang

90% of British comedy is an actor who was raised in a castle and educated in a different castle playing a poor person and really leaning into some regional accent

new he-man movie should have dolph lundgren and courtney cox as he-man's mom and dad

I do not wish to "craft" anything in a video game, I want to be given a gun or a sword and use it to slay Bad Guys and Villains

Turns out i was right

"McDonald's" and "McDonald's breakfast" are two separate and very distinct entities

I would love to live on one of those islands with a population of like 200 people whose primary industry is "tourism for people who are either very rich or very poor." I'd be the island's librarian/mail carrier. My kid would graduate in a class of 9 other kids and crash out, hard, in college

Your PC, which you no longer own? You no longer get to give it input either

“Trickle-down economics is theft, he said. The theory suggests that financial benefits to corporations and the wealthy would ultimately benefit the working class.” TRICKLE 👏 DOWN 👏 ECONOMICS 👏 IS 👏 THEFT 👏 Put that on some fucking bumper stickers

i am sick to fucking death of all the AI flyers local businesses post everywhere with identical layouts and blatantly artificial looking food. take a fucking photo of a burger!

my houseboat got caught in a hurricane once and blew me clean across the Pacific where I started a new life as a professor of Anime specializing in Gundam

FREE THE ROOSTER. TEXTING PICTURES OF SHREK'S DICK TO LAWMAKERS SHOULD NOT BE A CRIME

nothing like DOMS in your ass to make you feel strong

Happy pride month

most of Edward Scissorhands' haircuts fucking sucked