I'm tired of being tired 💀

Poor little guy is severely hungover

I can't stop being angry at that Samsnug commercial where the 20-something guy wakes up in a large bedroom at 8:00, goes on a morning run at 8:30, and has a "team meeting" scheduled for 10:00. Life ain't that luxurious for us not-morning people.

'm back! (sung to the tune of MMMBop)

I could really use a motivational playlist of "opening montage scene where main character gets ready in the morning" songs.

The Mighty Mighty Deftones

I saw this button the other day. Surely there's an amazing pun here somewhere, but it eludes me.

I have 50 bsky followers. Where's my affiliate? >:(

Last-minute reminder to donate to your favorite trusted charities for the 2024 year!

String Cheese is the winner! She's so tiny.

They've been fighting over who gets to gnaw my eyelids out all morning :3

me narrowing my eyes at 2025 like

I didn't know Nosferatu growing up. Once, I saw a license plate say NOS4R2 and thought it was a campaign to give R2-D2 a nose.

What was the "beer before egg nog" rhyme again?

Starting to get sick of that pop-up window that says "You're leaving the mission area!" whenever I take a bathroom break at work.

I want my eternal legacy to be like how they do it in Breath of the Wild. Name a random-ass hill after me but with 1 or 2 misspellings.

On my way to go PBBZBBTHBTHBP in front of hundreds of senior citizens for two hours.

The cat has spoken: my right shoe is worthy of noms, but my left shoe is REALLY worthy of noms.

Autocorrect is a human right.

Boomhauerang

In King of the Hill, there are three Boomhauers. Some episodes have one Boomhauer, others have the third Boomhauer. They never show the second Boomhauer.

I'm secretly the Scarecrow from Oz, but I don't have the heart to tell anybody.

*checks notes* Kraven the Hunter.

Mario Card

🎵 All she wants to do is, all she wants to do is nap! 🎵 Thank you, thank you. That song parody was based on me.

a movie called nosferatatouille, where a bat sits on draculas head and turns him into a world-renowned pastry chef

Serious question. How do I [verb] without [adverb] [ing-verb]? I don't want my [noun] to be [adjective] anymore.

I just said to my girlfriend, "I like Eminem." "I prefer skittles." "I meant the rapper." "Why would you eat the wrapper?" 🐢💨

Mood. Cross-stitch embroidery by @wendyenthomas.bsky.social

May I never be a guy who walks into and out of a public bathroom having a loud conversation about switching to fiber optic.

Me when the ringing in my ears is a quarter tone, so I can't harmonize with it.

You know what they say: Blueskies at night... afternoon delight.

Stealing another family dog for clout. Follow for more discrete aminal pics!

Bimpy's Tavern

Six decades later, Star Trek may still be the only franchise based on the ideas that diversity is strength, justice is the measure of civilization, bounty is to be shared, peace is worth the price, and all these things can be achieved. We need more shows that look ahead and find goodness.

My villain origin story would be just the plot of Morbius but I spend my whole life researching a cure for seasonal allergies. Hence, I become David the Living Snot Bubble.

Being depressing and/or having cute pets gets maximum bsky engagement. Noted.

now that i’m on this app does that finally make me woke

Fuck it, we're having popcorn for breakfast. Happy easter or whatever holiday this is.

Spending a month on Bluesky has created a whole new model of a fight we need to be having right now. Not liberal vs. conservative or whatever, but respect vs manipulation. I am tired of being manipulated everywhere I go. That’s why I like it here, I feel like I’m in charge for once.

Happy Sunday! Here is a Long-billed Corella going for a stroll on a sunny Sunday morning - 📸 taken near the Royal National Park, Australia. They also have a short crest (but not visible below) 🐦 #birds #birdsofbluesky #nature #wildlife #photography

Working on a script for a mumblecore Broadway play.

Charmander?? I hardly know her!

gotta be A B C D E F G.. crazy that's not even the best part

Dream of Rhode Islandication

please do not teach the goats italian

And this picture I forgot about.