If Puddles did speak, I would not be the least bit surprised to hear a dubious Cockney accent.

You – yes, you! – just took a two minute penalty in this Philly/Carolina game.

You can't even do Star Wars anagrams these days because of ewok.

Rick Bowness is not quite "end of season rant about his Columbus Blue Jackets players" mad right now, but he's very close.

This game is doing a great job of convincing me that playing defense sucks and should be banned.

Soma FM Groove Salad. And the cool part is that today, with a pair of Polk ES10s, a venerable old Yamaha sub, and a Schiit stack, I'm still listening to Groove Salad.

Colorado and Minnesota decided to be weird in the entirely opposite way from Tampa and Montréal.

Oh, that's a God Hates Your Team In Particular loss for Tampa Bay.

That is one hell of a bounce, Habs.

I need this

Congratulations to Joel Embiid and absolutely nobody else in Philadelphia

flyers

Cherie DeVaux isn't the only woman to find new success with a Golden Tempo in 2026.

nuh-nuh-NUH-NUH nuh NUH Nuh NUH nuh-nuh-NUH-NUH nuh-nuh-NUH-NUH nuh NUH Jan Hrdina

And on the other screen, never take the big-name stars for the overtime pick. It's always a grunt.

I *need* rinkside of audio of Benson giving the gears to McAvoy while he waits to get his arse properly booted out of the game.

Shadyside / Lawrenceville / Upper St. Clair

Harold & Kumar & Grogu Go To White Castle

You never see Benn go down this easily.

oh god tristan jarry is rubbing off on connor ingram #HereComeTheOilers

End of the 2nd of EDM/ANA:

Edmonton/Anaheim drunk like it's a three-day weekend so far.

Minnesota Wild in the 2nd round.

The zoning board has questions about the variance needed for the cow level.

*tapping the sign*

And now for the other great post-season tradition: Locker clean-out day, when we find out who was playing with what gnarly injury that would have normal humans housebound for months. (And maybe how much money the Penguins spent on the prosthetic leg Crosby has been playing on since the Olympics.)

Artūrs Šilovs is the goddamn truth. Couldn't buy a goal. Stretched house money way beyond what anybody thought they would. Hell of a season.

SCOTUS is telling us that there's no choice left but to pack the court. Congress can pass whatever laws they want to, but the Gang of Six will veto them if they think it'll help Republicans cling to power.

I feel like BMW has dropped behind Tesla, Audi, and *any* Nissan/Infiniti sedan. (It’s not just Altima drivers. I was once tailgated by a grey-market JDM Nissan *President* being driven like a riced out Sentra. Or maybe they were just celebrating that it didn’t have that awful CVT. I dunno.)

PROTIP: Don't let Pasta get behind your defense.

How's your heart rate, kids?

FOURTEEN #PenguinsPlayoffVictoryHashtag

WHOOPSIE-DAISY

Aw, Arty…

OFF THE BACK BAR THAT'LL DEWAR

Took a while, but the league finally added Hathaway's second minor for roughing that put the Pens on that power play they appeared to piss away with red mist retaliation.

I did not have "Penn State's whale donors don't actually live in Pennsylvania" on the bingo card, but hey, a win's a win. #H2P

RAN. THE DAMN. BALL.

[turns on RCB/Delhi match] [sees Kohli hit a 6 to end the match and win by 9 wickets] [looks at box score] [sees… so… much… blood…]

I feel like this Ducks video review OT goal is the small domino that leads to either Connor McDavid winning the Stanley Cup with the Seattle Kraken or Alberta secession.

I love this essay very much!!!!

My polite and effective way of saying this is this screenshot and a heavy handed but gentle stare at…quite a few of you.

Jakub Dobeš, my stars and garters

Slafkovský gets rekt at center ice, Tampa Bay gets a power play from a post-whistle slash, and Jon Cooper is *still* flipping his shit. This series feels like a heel turn for him for whatever reason.

Does Ryan Malone know Matt Bartkowski raided his wardrobe?

sleep in tomorrow get brunch take a nice long dog walk do NOT watch the sunday morning politics chat shows it is not your job, you will learn nothing, and you will simply get mad

Go birds, IMO. 🐧