NHL fans:

ESPN doesn't care if you watch this Crosby/Ovechkin game, or any of their replacement-level NHL broadcasts, but they will gladly leverage your interest to upsell you a Disney Bundle.

""Have you believed because you have seen me? Blessed are those who have not seen and yet have come to believe." – John 20:29" – – Dan Orlovsky

Dang it, if I had room on my shelf for the Lego Enterprise-D, I would have already filled it with the Shire, Rivendell, and/or Barad-dûr.

I am shocked, SHOCKED, to find Jordan Binnington being a petty little shit.

Ovi will tell his grandkids that his 900th goal was an absolute snipe rocket.

OKAY first everyone's Blue Tsunami posts leave out the PA judges. Then this!?!?

Lord Nemesis, the Prussian Prince of Automatons, has endorsed Andrew Cuomo.

the STFU sportsball people of bluesky take an L *an L is short for loss, as in one of the many outcomes of a sporting event

Hoo, boy, this is a paddlin'

┻┳| ┻┳| ┳┻| ┳┻| ┻┳| ┻┳| ┳┻| ┳┻| ┻┳| ┳┻| ┻┳| ┳┻| _ ┻┳| •.•) I think the modern ┳┻|⊂ﾉ and throwback Seahawks ┻┳| uniforms both look good

Darnell Washington wildcat package, let’s go

Justin Timberlake 🤝 Geddy Lee "This is going to ruin the tour."

It’s a valid theory!!

It’s basically Deep Space Nine.

This World Series has been nothing but natural 1 attack rolls and natural 20 saving throws.

OH MY GOD

Did you think this would end without some squeaky bum time?

RIVERHOUNDS

Oh, good, Hounds/Hartford going to PKs

Bichette and Springer asking "What about *two* Kirk Gibson games?"

BTW, Riverhounds and Hartford Athletic are in the 11th minute of extra time and it's level at 0-0 with butts puckered the entire time.

SID WITH THE "LET KARLSSON HIT ME WITH A SLAPSHOT" PLAY

Artūrs Šilovs is calamity on skates today

Meanwhile, in Winnipeg, the Penguins are having a Book of Job game.

Vlad Jr is ready to rip hearts out

Just flipped over to Ravens/Fins, and apparently, even Amazon's AV1 encoder has checked out on this game.

#PenguinsVictoryHashtag

BEN KINDEL THE KID STAYS UP

BRYAN RUST SAYS FUCK A POWER PLAY

[after waiting for some Garrett Rank Bullshit™] RYAN SHEA THROUGH TRAFFIC

#PenguinsGoalieInterferenceRules Alert

Need a second file for Fall Out Boy: - Look, Just Give Me Some Inner Peace Before I Mop the Floor With You - I'm Being Indicted for Fraud in Australia - She's a Sweet, Kind Reverend's Daughter and You're the Devil's Cabana Boy - Shut Up, Brain, I Got Friends Now - Part of This D- Belongs to God

OK, who forgot Vinnie Hinostroza was a Penguin before Josh Getzoff just reminded you? 🙋

We should have had this when NBC had the NHL, just for the "WTF's a tractor chelyabinsk?" reactions when European players named their junior teams.

The Blake Snell Game, or the Everybody Has a Plan Until They Get Punched in the Mouth Game?

I’ll say it again: I don’t give a fuck what is legally just, stealing food when the alternative is starvation is morally just and cannot be a crime

The nice thing about spooky season is that I don't have to change my display name. It's already scary enough. No, not the Star Wars villain. It's the total cost of ownership of a Jeep.

Weird Al bumper music. Finish your drink.

RUN

Pens/Flyers, eternally

Did anybody ever set an o/u on Dan Muse's first "Shut the fuck up, Geno!" of the season?

CROSBY SUCKS CROSBY SUCKS CROSBY SUCKS CROSBY SUCKS CROSBY SUCKS CROSBY SUCKS

Milkshake in a beer koozie is next level. (That’s more interesting than the Penguins right now because they already look like they’ve burned themselves out on this back-to-back.)