131! Not a reference to vehicle speed, surprisingly

It’s 1990 something. I’m wearing worn thin Jimmy-Z shorts, a Ministry/NIN/SoM t-shirt and Docs or Tevas

The Olympics is Squid Games

When did we as an upright pissing population (inclusive) forget how to piss in a urinal so badly that the manufacturers starting putting DMPIs on the porcelain? We have larger things to work on, like ejection mats for those who put dip in the drains and a marking spray for non-hand washers

Second flight today with the “absolutely full” warning during boarding and no middle seat companion I am obviously living on borrowed time, AMA

The LOLs I am LOLing about this cannot be matched. Only thing with more failed promises than Trump is the NRA and “fighting tyranny” Fucking clowns.

Sat down at airport lounge and TGL is on. I've never seen this, and now I'm wondering why and how there is an even less physically taxing version of golf than normal cart golf.

This one's even better. #AlaskaSky #GroundhogDay

FSU schedule just dropped

Lots of Queensrÿche discussion today. They haven’t been this hawt since 1988. I think we all know who to blame, @hulcricket.bsky.social

My safe word is “keep going”

Play the song Willie! Heading to Texas this week. There’s 109 people on the upgrade list. This plane has 178 seats and 162 of them aren’t in first.

Alt text included for the visually impaired –

Teen crush? It was the late 80s Shared what I shared…I’m not ashamed

Alarmingly accurate

Ol Governor Oosik. I am certain we have the absolute dumbest Governor in all 50 states. Tall dumbass boot licking toady.

Made a margarita pizza for me and the youngest. Watching Final Cut of Bladerunner (her first time). Can’t tell me shit

Macaulay Culkin on Instagram. 😢

Never mind the jobs you had, tell me five classes you took in college -Open Water Diving -Business Law -Debt and Equity Markets -Backpacking -European History: French Revolution through the Fin de Siècle

invent a time machine and cut off stephen miller’s father’s dick

I see no mention of butter on the bread first so this is all wrong.

BREAKING: Judge dismisses murder, weapons charges against alleged UnitedHealth CEO killer Mangione reut.rs/45Fin56

Whole lotta words to say “not giving you an edit button”

QUARANTINE

Hey Aqualung

There was a mighty duel! It ranged all over. They were both masters.

This is the snow blower we all need

So many saw noises. Plumbers with saws…

5 jobs I’ve had: Purveyor of square burgers Sears hardware salesman Line cook Marine Program Manager

I'm shocked that Landry is getting in ICE's ass like th....*touches earpiece*....

Operation Enduring Diversion.

The Great Water Heater Install and Plumbing Correction of 2026 is underway…how’s everyone else’s Thursday going? 💰 🪽

Lemony Snicket: Investigation in this case meaning to review, document, and improve. For use later in other, more advantageous locations. At no point will this person pretending to be an honorable senator use his position for a greater good.

Alright alright… Gonna be in Atlanta for work on Feb 10th and 11th. Probably have a Work Dinner™ on the 11th but the 10th is open for drank or dinner and dranks

Going into Wednesday like

Insurance people: *internal screaming loud enough to be heard externally*

Probably didn’t make the cut but this is the best outcome of a homemade sled run. After the track packed in, it got faaasssst. The car question was relevant because the road is about six feet below that berm that wasn’t a problem initially….

You who else lived in his own world, looked like a melting white guy, wore one glove, and sexualized children….

Run the ball Get the points Throw up a Q Repeat

Jerky time

Ever had one of those days where the afternoon coffee needed to be an Irish Coffee?

HEY @altnps.bsky.social IS A SHAMELESS GRIFTER

Nobody told me about “Sewer Divers” and NGL, I’m kind of hurt

Just found my chocolate orange with poprocks…it’s like getting a gift all over again

ope looks like they told @senorblanxo.bsky.social his bags were over the weight limit

no matter how hard Greg Bovino tries to exude rugged masculinity he always comes off like Don Knotts in a Portlandia sketch

Found an upside to a rapidly getting sadder situation…The OldDog can’t stand up on his back legs and kick the shit out of the sliding glass door when he has finished his explorations in the back yard ianymore, it’s more of a “tap/knock” with the nails and front hoof… NGL, happy he never broke it

Same. That’s what I call the camper when it’s just me and wife

“Chooose” “Choose? Choose what?” “Choose the Destructor”

Favorite thing about kid 2: When she gets home she always comes and finds me, in the lofftice and walks up behind me, says “sneak attack!” and gives me a huge hug. She’s been doing it since she was maybe 6? She’s almost 17.