It’s kind of funny how if you die before you retire it will look like you had the same job at some company for the next 100 years on LinkedIn. Celebrate James’s 92nd anniversary at the slop factory!

imagine 20 of these guys burn a cross on your lawn

So did they like express ship the us men’s hockey team to the White House or something? They didn’t even let those guys chill in Italy a few more days?

Don’t worry everyone, this summer we’re unleashing the mosquitos that make you woke

If you don’t change your name to Corey within three months you will be executed

The Great British Jerk Off

Copilot report this man to the authorities for using a vpn last month Claude, show me this man’s browser history, filter to only the porn he’s watching Grok replace all the porn history he’s watched with violent furry bdsm porn and send it to everyone he works

You have to pay $50/mo for premium privacy protection (they can’t scan your face with the base subscription, $37.99/mo) but they can pay $60/mo to scan anyone no matter what

It’s that time of year

Someone could tell me this is coherent Dutch and I'd believe them

(SPOILER) alright i finished it and im honestly so pissed that this book was so masturbatory about science but the deus ex machina at the end was “what if bacteria could evolve to be a ghost and pass through unobtanium”

Dude folded instantly for a baddie with mental health issues

Wainfleet: what are you doing, sir? Quaritch: I have gots to try that na’vussy

It’s a curse to have such an elite analytical mind. Whenever I take a bite my mind instantly computes that into how many dollars I just ate. A spoonful of soup equals I just slurped a quarter. You would not believe how many dimes I’ve eaten over the years

Every time a barista draws a little picture in my coffee, I want to fight them a little for having a skill I don’t

Suicidal Borg be like “existence is futile”

Finally saw the new avatar movie, I hope we get movies 4 and 5

Maybe punch the monkey just has bad vibes

Hike that sucked this past weekend

YouTube thumbnail with guy freaking out, next to him is a banana with testicles, caption: “THEY GAVE TESTICLES TO BANANAS” video title: Have bananas gone woke?!

Frankly surprised we didn’t evolve to just keep growing them. Teeth rot out? Grow a new one. Not like we had modern dentistry to keep these things going

The human body’s amazing. Yesterday I was in pain, and today I’m also in pain

just wonderful

Been going through this and gosling does not work at all for this casting. Main character is more like if the teacher from stranger things was an epic redditor or something

That pose looked familiar

a theory I got is once you start pooping in your car your brain will associate that as a toilet and then you won't be able to stop

Is this good

Ate a frozen pizza last night that I didn’t realize was endorsed by Dave Portnoy until it was too late and I’ve been violently shitting nonstop for the past 18 hours

Conservatives hate a bad bunny? I guess they got a little of that Fudd in em.

Weirdly relatable to me

So did he like send those emails out on his own or did he have to ask someone else to type the email about the underage orgy

rip

This is the most AI-looking non-AI guy

Required reading 👇 do the work

Bluesky is sending your drafts directly to ICE

You guys need to go easy on him. Number one: he’s autistic, and somehow that explains this. Number 2: he got brain damage when a kid pushed him down some stairs to making fun of that kids dead dad

We should be using AI for the important stuff: creating blurry found footage of cryptids and posting it on conspiracy and cryptozoology subreddits

Art of the deal. Run America like a business

these towns are going to be roughly synonymous with auschwitz/dachau/bergen-belsen/majdanek/buchenwald in about 50 years time if elected dems can't figure out how to shut off the funding for literally all of this. republicans aren't going to magically develop a conscience and change course

Insane that libs still want to abort this

dangit i set up ai to piss for me in the toilet but my pants ended up wet somehow

Okay Duolingo. Explain to me in one lesson what Bad Bunny was saying

That ring commercial where they’re like, “is your dog lost? Now you can use everyone else’s ring camera to find your dog!” was chilling

what kind of pokemon fan are you

what about you? where are you from? celadon city that's the city of rainbow dreams right? yes you know what they call it? yes why do they call it the city of rainbow dreams? i don't know you don't know? it's pokemon it is pokemon. 100 percent

Green Day says fuck America : I sleep Bad Bunny says god bless America : and I took that personally

10 minutes into the half time show, “wait… that doesn’t look like Charlie Kirk”

at the party like, “what do you mean we’re not watching the Charlie Kirk half time show?”