Not saying I'm over emotional but I've just cried in the Masterchef semi final.

I've had insomnia for over 40 years. Tried everything. For the last couple of nights I've put the BBC Ryder Cup podcast thing on, which I really wanted to listen to, fell asleep in the first line. Woke at 3, same again. Might do this every night for the rest of my life. Cracked the sleep code!

Wools forever ✊

If there's one person who won't be fazed by a few boos it's Tommy Fleetwood

Bunch of cunts

Hadn't factored in a Ryder Cup weekend when I set out my alcohol free half term

Dad loved golf. Just found this in old texts. Looked it up, Medinah. Can picture him with a big glass of red and a cigar.

Well, this is a hot mess of dog whistles and utter nonsense. For a speech claiming to tackle "toxic" and "poisonous" rhetoric Starmer leans heavily into pandering to the usual misinformation about migrants and portraying anti-immigration ideals as "patriotic" www.telegraph.co.uk/news/2025/09...

Semi regular tweet (whatever) that I'm simply not having Jon Rahm being Spanish.

Desperately hoping for scenes no-one wants to see in the golf.

🚨🚨Blue Lights is on the planner, this is not a drill

Must be weird today for Stoke fans not knowing whether to support their bitter rivals or the team who had a player with the audacity to get his leg broken by one of their players.

Fuck the fuck off.

I'm not always great at decision making but turning down a free ticket for this was up there with my better ones

Veg ragu and rice (mediocre), good salad bar, unlimited soup and rolls and FOUR (unlimited) vegan desserts!

Opening speaker asked us how many 1. Stoke City managers 2. Secretaries of state for education we could name from the last 10 years. Not sure which of all of them got the most boos.

Been absolutely ages, maybe not even on Bluesky, but what vegan offering am I getting at my conference today?

Frankie Bridge is beautiful

@mrpaulrobinson.bsky.social it's scissors paper stone. Delete as much as you want.

'Would have taken a point'

Vegan paprika Tucs in Home Bargain, what a fucking time to be alive

Just walked through absolutely biblical rain, stepped in a puddle in the road up past my ankles, now on the train absolutely soaked, feet squelching, fucking shite

More derby avoidance

Doing an excellent job of avoiding all football and just poncing

The server has just come to explain the menu. FFS yes I know they are small, I know that olives are nibbles, I know they'll come when they're ready

‘We want ARE country back’ I write sarcastically in the comments, triumphantly highlighting the posters lack of education compared to mine, as I recline in my Eames chair and take a sip of steaming hot Peruvian coffee from my Rest Is Politics mug. Another opponent vanquished. 😎

Just shut the fuck up about America

All the wee English boy off Derry Girls aren't we?

Anthony Gordon's dedication to recreating all of Princess Diana's iconic looks is to be admired

Catching up on tonight's Masterchef... ... Olivia has gone. I am going to miss her natural exuberance and unfailingly cheerful demeanor. (Her unironic cry of "Mamma Mia!" when she got through the first round was my highlight of the series.)

When we're writing lists of the best TV characters of 2025, I need everyone to make sure that the constantly pissed off Italian woman on MasterChef is in the top 3. Olivia, you will ALWAYS be famous to me.

Watching the Masterchef Jane Austen challenge, lost count of the amount of times I've muttered 'cunt'

Anyone got a Byond card? Worth it?

Is-scab-bul more like. You having that?

@junkyardfool.bsky.social I presume you're all in on the Italian scouser on Bake Off?

Arguably the greatest scene where someone *doesn't* walk but

Love it when the contestants all meet back up 🪡 🐝

Cor!

1. The sizzle of a hot frying pan hitting the washing up water 2. When the scissors glide on the wrapping paper 3. A hot water bottle 4. Clean sheets 5. Full bin bag gliding out of the kitchen bin

RIP Stephen Luscombe. Here’s a playlist to remembering him by, featuring not only his hits with Blancmange but also his pioneering work with Indian artists and various other collaborations open.spotify.com/playlist/0Jm...

Waiting lists for mental health services for young people are measured in years not months, GP services are at breaking point, telling people to talk to someone is well meaning but people do talk and the support still isn't there.

'Oh my fucking God'

Two people who were definitely on that march yesterday

Strap in for the original and best 'not a derby' today. (Not that one).

In a turn of events that absolutely everyone could have predicted, I fancy Kyle Hogg.

I mean, call me a Loony Lefty if you want, but it *is* starting to look a bit weird arresting disabled pensioners protesting peacefully one day and telling coked up bellends attacking you to “calm down” another day the same month. Obviously, just my opinion. I might have got it wrong.

Just found out that the snide Tuc biscuits in Aldi are vegan, what a fucking way to start the weekend!

Flintoff is a good lad