I just want it on record that when it happens, this was where you first read it. Forest and Spurs are in death-spirals, West Ham are shite and Wolves have momentum and a very winnable set of games ahead of them.

Are there any active Everton fanzines at the moment? Is the genre dying in general?

For sale. Star Wars lunchbox. Never used. One reckless owner. $800. Must collect from Melbourne, in the next two hours.

UTFT ✊🏻

Age verification? A conversation full of mere cubs. I was born a few days before this top-down, six player monster was release in North America. They genuinely don’t make them like this any more. It genuinely is a shame.

Every time - EVERY time - the tea towel drawer is opened near bed time. Without fail. I’ve left her to it, she knows where I am.

I’ll alert Primark’s window display team.

Wolves. Their run-in and their recent performances. Beyond the realms of possibility that they might stay up? Libpewl, Brentford, west ham, Leeds, spurs, sunderland, Fulham, Burnley. I mean - a lot of wins needed, but they look like they’ve had a bit of spark in recent weeks.

Joined the ranks of the middle class bourgeoisie bastards today - used the “spare electric toothbrush” to make light work of the soapy build-up on the shower tile grout. Will see out the year doing this before becoming an upper class twat and hiring someone to do it for me. UberScrubs or some such.

@jongard.bsky.social Gardy, lid - still safe and in one piece? Take care, mate.

The horse punchers are taking defeat as graciously as their armchair redshite compatriots...

That Crime 101 was good. End of review.

So anyway, obviously Burnley will grind out a draw out at our place, and we’ll do the same at Arsenal to put City top a couple of weeks later.

We were always going to win there today. We are really good at frustrating decent teams on their own patch and then mugging them. I would love Moyes to crack the solution to when teams do the same to us. We would genuinely be troubling the top four. Footnote - short arms; and Gordon losing the ball.

🤷‍♀️

We’re knocking the living shite out of Newcastle today.

I see “genocide” is a verb these days…

Another quotation-mark laden “headline” from Football 365. I will “stop at nothing” to have this shit stamped on “until it bleeds”.

I’ll just say this one last time, because I know everyone’s been hanging on my opinion. It’s ok to acknowledge the good job Moyes has done while also pointing to the same fundamental limitations that have hampered both his own career and the clubs he’s managed; and then asking whether a perpetuity

'can't even say you're dead now without being thrown in jail...'

Co-commentator here telling us Fernandes gets the ball but had to kick through the defender to do it. So “foul him”, then.

This shit at corners has to stop. You can’t fart near a player on the half way line without a lecture, but you can basically rip your opponent’s shirt off while you’re waiting for a corner.

Fuck me, I’ve seen it all, now. Barry penalised for standing by the keeper.

And we won’t see it, but there’s a clear foul on N’Diaye while we’re attacking that takes him out of the game, immediately reduces our options etc. Obviously not entitled to go to ground there.

What Tarkowski did is no different to what Barry did in the first half. Once again, an example of certain fouls not being given in certain areas/certain things only being called a foul if it’s in a “safe” area.

Fucking joke, that decision.

Just remembered that James Redmond biff. Couldn’t stop myself, checked YouTube. Or “yewchyeeeewwwwwb”, as he probably calls it. He must come from part of Liverpool I’ve never been to, he always sounds like he’s clearing his throat while squeezing out a shit.

I’m convinced Donald Trump is dead. The only places you ever see him these days are on a plane, getting on a plane, or against a blue background. I’ll be gutted if he’s dead and they haven’t told us.

Made myself a delicious salmon and prawn pasta tossed in rosemary and garlic oil, topped with fresh hot chillis and freshly squeezed lemon juice, didn’t I? And I don’t care - it was fucking great, like it always is.

Ha. Just remembered a Boro supporting mate of mine told me that years ago, when they were branding Tyne Tees TV, they made a conscious decision to exclude Wear for fear of it becoming known as TWaT TV. Not sure how true, but don’t care.

I bet he’s sweating like an ex-prince in a pizza restaurant right now.

I hope they call him Sloppy Giuseppe in prison.

Cleaning my phone up. I have got NO idea what this fucking thing was (no, not the toe) but it was massive and it looked like it’d do damage.

The next picture clue in our ‘Guess the Guest’ game. Any guesses? #grangehill #sausageonafork #podcast #guesstheguest

One of my favourite animal compo faces, this.

Got a new phone. It’s like my old phone but without a massive crack down the middle of the screen and a bit of sticky tape preventing a thumb-slicing shard of glass from doing its worst.

Every single Irish or of Irish descent I know, literally 100% will be utterly disgusted with this. My advice to the the lads? Fucking fight it 💪🏼💙 🇮🇪 🇵🇸

Postecoglu’s Remains Of Terror continue…

Didn’t watch it and boy does it sound like I missed a treat - so I’m writing blind, here. But - swapping one forward for another right after we concede, and then throwing a centre half on as a forward for the last three minutes is very Moyes.

I drew this 6 years ago

“He definitely means me! Here’s me chance! Drop your keks, Herman, it’s always been you!” “Fuck off!”

How it started; how it ended.

“This hits different”. Fuck off. Which is a phrase that I can confirm always hits the same.

Cooked myself a delicious spicy salmon rice dish with crispy chilli sauce, diced veg and egg, didn’t I?

Great result. We got lucky. It’s ok to admit we should’ve been buried at half time and it was as a result of things we could’ve avoided. The win is all that matters but we don’t get better as a club unless we point this stuff out. Even a fraction of luck for F’lum and we’re three down at half time.

Made a delicious bolognese, didn’t I?

Takes a bit of magic to make you like an American sports team, especially in this day and age. Fuck me, Netflix’s “Miracle: The Boys of ‘80” is a really good watch, and a really likeable group of lads-then-men.

Agree with this. An innovation I could get behind. BellCam#1