He’s defo getting his hat-trick here.

Eeesh. Every one of Scotland’s defence has made a Big Fucking Mistake in this half.

“The table in real time” is this tournament’s “as things stand…”

Couple of these Brazil lads acting like they’re a protected species.

Imagine Keane and Tarkowski watching this.

Recycling this.

Also, players can fuck off with that “wild arms to gee the fans up” thing. You do your thing, we’ll do ours. [shouts at telly]

Roberto Carlos having a gold iPhone case really does not surprise me.

Fucks sake….

Paqueta looks like a camp barber.

At the very least, just leave a mark, Scotland. Batter them!

Smashed three car windows already to save dogs from the heat. Haven’t found any yet but I’m not giving up.

Go’ead, Scotland, lad. Into these ball-juggling, Christ the Redeemer Amazon bellends. Will take a defeat if someone just fucking jaws Neymar. Or Robertson.

Please watch this and share youtu.be/-L-EH5dryuU?...

Elsewhere, and headmaster suspended for using big-faced boy as satellite dish.

Premium-grade flouncing! Mad that you can’t disagree with someone without this kind of tawdry conduct in response.The Everton Gents’ Establishment would be aghast. Ace that clearsky lets you see what a shithouse someone has been pre-block, too! Up yours, Mr Agreeable, you fat bunhead!

Got a delicious lamb ragu on the go. Updates when you’re worthy of them.

Watching Trump blundering around, thumbs-upping cameras, doing that single pat to your neighbour’s arm thing that octogenarian bro-coders do when they simply don’t know how to relate to people - he’s like Old Uncle Bellend, the compulsory unwanted invitee at his great nephew’s 18th birthday party.

A list of non-kopite but clearly very obvious kopites in football. I’ll kick us off. Micky van de Ven. He’s absolutely 100% a fucking kopite, him. Everything about him reeks of kopite.

Sidney Prescott, December 1996

I know it’s all ifs, buts, maybes and paper talk - but the idea of selling Barry a year down the line and watching Beto and Delap taking turns in warming the bench for each other is just so fucking 14th in the league.

Perhaps a long shot! But does anyone know any of the people in these prints? I’d like to send them to them, as I have no use for keeping them. All photographed by me at Goodison Park 💙 Thank you 🙏🏻

Genuinely surprised by how many blues are into England. No, not a judgement thing - just thought a lot had shunned the Nashnew team. Who are infinitely more palatable these days - but I still can’t get past the LADZ who BANTER for them.

Just remembered Michael Bolton, there. What a prick.

Many of you will know, @Fankie.Joyce07 (insta) has taken on a massive challenge supporting us and raising money for @AnthonyNolan. If you’re on Instagram, please give him a follow, donate via his just giving if you can, or just drop him a message of 💪🏽 RT’s greatly appreciated

America’s going to fall in love with Scotland, isn’t it? Where’s it going to leave the Republic, I wonder…?

Because size isn’t always everything to everyone.

Shoot me down in flames by all means - but shouldn’t parents be monitoring their kids’ use of smartphones, what they’re using, how long they’re on it, etc?

Instagram timeline is chocker with Scotland stuff. Which I am loving.

Hearing that Trump froze assets, started a war, pushed fuel prices up, bombed shit out of places and demanded an end to a nuclear program; then agreed to pay reparations and unfreeze assets while not getting any agreement on a nuclear program. Job done! Happy birthday, you satsuma cunt!

ARF!

What the fuck was all the fuss about, #1 - arguably the most bland and inconsequential music that people seemed to buy into en masse at its time (male category), will always be Jack Johnson for me.

LinkedIn really is a treasure trove of unrefined bellendry. There’s a tiny proportion of genuine interest to me - language, comms, that kind of thing. And then you stumble across some prick who tells you what his most toxic trait is, and wraps up his post by telling you why it’s actually a positive.

I read somewhere that Van Dijk had died. And yet here he is. So who was lying?

Cleopatra!

Nice things from today

Consistently and steadfastly refused to correct people who, for whatever reason, seem to think my job is hard and, by proxy, any successes I have are incredible. “Mate, I formatted a Word document, inserted a picture and made sure the font was all the same size.”

Can I help you, like?

You should follow this person. I like them - that’s all the validation they need.

Hamilton Island. Fuckinavvitt!

He’s got a point, like. It hurts me to say it, but he’s sometimes funny. In a certain light. And from a good distance away. If you squint.

Context for Belfast riots

Out last night. As I waited for a cab to arrive, another uber pulled up. Passenger door opens, the passenger leans out and proceeds to throw up Dead Sea volumes of liquid. Have genuinely never seen anything quite like it, was tempted to applaud. The noise will stay with me for a while, mind.

Mine.

Eeesh, that “Meet The Press” session went really well for Trump, I thought. In that he left before the interviewer’s only remaining option was to just point and laugh at a floundering octogenarian with ever diminishing mental adequacy.

Hearing the United Nations have condemned this dish.

When will these knobheads learn that they are just nameless pawns in this cunt’s populist game? “Get out there and RAGE! And let me know how it goes, ok - I’m with you guys, in spirit at least.”

A message from Roy/PJ, for those who might know him: Stu is raising money for a DJK house residential to Anglesey. Thanks for your support. gofund.me/708fafab5

This account is fucking ace, by the way.

If you’re still planning on tuning into this festival of corrupt cunts rinsing everyone for its own personal gain, and supporting the image whitewashing of Trump’s authoritarian regime, you want your fucking bumps felt.