And finally - “they just want it more” always sounds like a way for people who can’t see why a team suddenly gets on top to explain it away. I reckon every player on any pitch typically REALLY wants to win the game. I can’t see there being much of a sliding scale in general.

Also, can any top, top toggerplayers confirm there is a benefit in the lads wearing those sports bras? I’m sure they’ve got a more butch name for the fellas, like. Anyway - there are obvious benefits for people like me, but footballers? Honestly - am intrigued.

Actually, when you think about it - Liverpool didn’t get a free kick in a dangerous position or a penalty deep into injury time; palace had no-one sent off; their second wasn’t disallowed; and Liverpool had no chance to race into a 2-0 lead. So basically, it’s a Liverpool win. PL is so bent.

He didn’t like that!

Is this AmeriGolf conduct a new phenomenon? Like - I know those fat-arsed preppy hedge-fund fucks have always been boorish sacks of shit, but have they ever been as overt and confrontational in the way they’re behaving at the (now slightly more interesting but still shit) stickball tournament?

MEGALOLZZZZZZZ!

Could you have fucking waited until Tuesday?!

We’re just innocent men

Crikey. That Kier Starmer lad’s making a right dog’s dick of stuff, isn’t he? From an unassailably strong position, too. He should try doing more labour stuff - that’s what I’d do if I were him.

The last 2 weeks I keep remembering these lines

Atellyerwha’ - I try not to be all serious and stuff on here, but this lionisation by the American right of Charlie Kirk really is a damning indictment on just how far standards of critical thinking have fallen. I gather they’re sticking his grid on coins, now!

If I ever go on a murderous rampage, I’m going to write “Donald Trump Done This, Really Bigly”. The act of writing stuff down seems to make it automatically true these days, so you can thank me when he’s in jail on charges of moyda/harmicide.

@evertonfc.com It’s really disappointing to see Everton fans begging for responses to queries, via Twitter, because it’s the only way to get through to you. That site is a fucking cesspit. Loads of us deliberately don’t use it. Your relationship with the fans was something we were proud of.

Any Everton fans advisory board types on here, by any chance?

It’s astonishing that despite the fact that what Kimmel said is readily available in the public domain, the right is pretending he said something different. “Nazi” and “nazism” is bandied about readily these days - but if you want an example of actual, incontrovertible Nazi-like behaviour, then the

Watch this and be the one who asks that really hard question. I can’t tell you what a difference you could make to someone’s life.

It’s ok to: be happy Moyes is back; be disappointed with that first half; acknowledge his limitations; acknowledge he’s the best manager we’ve had since he left; criticise his conservative attitude against decent teams; recognise the job he’s doing - all at the same time. We’re not a cult.

Better second half. Push comes to shove - the gulf between us in the first half is the one we have to bridge if we want to contend and, like it or not, it should also remind us of where we are right now. Sometime you lose and it’s just because your opponents are miles better. Bit of patience needed.

That booking… fuck me, this fella is a joke.

So that’s, what, nine on Grealish?

Dewsbury-Hall hasn’t been at the races, here.

Despite his apparently very narrow field of vision, Barry has already proved he simply has to lead the line in future.

How has he not give a foul on Ndiaye?!

Some semblance of shape as we attack would be good, though.

We just need to leave marks, now. Be ace to see Van Dijk booted up the arse again.

The ref’s great at getting exactly there the ball went out for a throw, like. Missing all the fouls, but he’s nailed the straight lines.

Well, if we weren’t relaxed at ten minutes, at least we can kick back now.

Aaaaaand it’s an Everton player who’s first in the book.

Wasn’t a foul on N’Diaye. Clean as a whistle, that. Grealish, though… We get nothing here, and we never do, which is why it’s critical we take every chance we get.

And that, right there, is a classic example of a referee shitting out from giving Jack Grealish a free kick and then Everton conceding a goal.

Jesus. This is a monster! I won’t bother with this “undertones of blueberry and candied orange people”. But if you’re a bourbon drinker, this is a gentle sipper with lots of stuff going on. Also, up the fuckin’ Toffees!

Your periodic reminder... #UTFT #EFC #Everton

Fully aware of the “what are you saying” responses this will elicit, but also I’m 50 and know it has no impact. And also tired of crying in defeats. And it’s a bright new future. So fuck it - we are going to snot the living piss out of those horrible bastards tomorrow. 6-0.

Post a female character you love

Has that Trump Lies thing on C4 been aired yet, and was it any good? It’s for a VPN I’m weighing up switching on.

Maaaaan, Americans LOVE killing each other! Teaching someone not to kill someone by killing them leaves little room for their future personal development, mind.

So [checks notes] Steve Bannon, Holly Valance, Brian Tamaki, Jean Messiha, Elon Musk, Ezra Levante, Avi Yemini, Petr Bystron, Dominik Tarczynski, Morten Messerschmidt, Phillip Dewinter, Steve Bannon, Jordan Peterson, Holly Valance, Erik Zemmour, Eva Vlaardingerbroek, Ada Lluch, Americans, French

TEXTBOOK! And a timely reminder that kopites are, to a man, ugly bastards.

Hang on. Terence Stamp?! Since when? I mean, obviously I know the answer, I just saw it. Fuck. I think the metrosexuals among us can comfortably say “what a dish that man was”.

Got Copilot to design a spinning wheel of random choices, like a wheel of fortune, in PowerPoint, using VBA and a macro, and it’s fucking cool and now I’m the king of chips and pizzas and cool things and everyone wants to get off with me and I’m not telling anyone how I did it.

I think “hundreds and thousands of ordinary people, just marching to raise concerns” need to embrace the fact that if you knowingly rub shoulders with racist scum and you do nothing about that/it/them, you’re complicit with racism. No amount of “yeah, but” or “no but” will change that.

Kajagoo Mono Lipa (tenuous) M / A / R / R / The Thompson Only Child

I watched that “I Fought The Law” thing with Sheridan Smith. As always, she was ace. The show - less so. Lacked a bit.

Hearing 26m people marched in London yesterday.

Sorry, Merse, I’ll have to stop you, we’re heading back to the United States Stadium for more drama - now remember, we’d just been hearing talk that Charlie Kirk had been assassinated by a disgruntled member of the far, FAR right. Chris Kamara - what on earth is going on NOW? Jeff, I’ve no idea!

Harvey Elliot is genuinely Kopitey Ugly. He looks like he’s borrowed his hair from some biff on London Road.

So… two footed, from behind, yeah?

Two minutes. Mings was down for about half an hour. I think they just make this shit up.

That’s three times that a stinking touching Beto has killed a really good opportunity. The sooner we find an actual striker, the better.