I have a new book out today. If you like heartbreaking, working-class dystopia on your pages as well as in your life then boy do I have a story for you 😅 (Link in comments)

Go home, publishing. You've had enough.

You use it, you're not a writer.

Here's fun in the middle of a heatwave: my desk fan no longer plugs into my laptop. Not that it won't work - it won't plug in. Used it fine on Sunday. Today, nope. It won't plug in anywhere. So of course, I hate everything.

Man, I could really do with a win from the publishing gods right about now. Which probably means another rejection in the next 20 minutes.

"...man". Particularly groovy roadworks on the M6 (Southbound) yesterday.

Possibly the most horrific thing I have ever seen.

Me in my BlueSky bubble

British air con FTW.

A tad warm in my house today.

People saying that users prefer the bubble of BlueSky to the feral viciousness of Twitter - well...yes. In the same way I prefer a restaurant where the staff are nice and the food is good over one where they stab you with forks while serving bowls of cold piss.

I get that piss-taking accounts are for doing just that while also exposing scummy fuckers but it has no effect on people who support the scummy fuckers. Their hate and their anger and 'we want are country bak from the furriners' beats stone cold facts every time. Literally nothing will change that.

I also think part of the reason genAI is inevitably doomed as a cultural force is, who likes it. Not just the bosses/techbros, but your uncoolest uncle, flooding Facebook with genAI of him like, dating Marilyn Monroe or dressed as Superman. That's lame as fuck. And being lame is the kiss of death.

Hat. Obvs.

The Submission Pit thesubmissionpit.substack.com?r=1rhwj0&utm...

Anyway, I’m contractually obligated to tell you that If you’re in the UK, you can get VILE LADY VILLAINS today only for 99p. 🖤 Stabby sapphics for a bargain! www.amazon.co.uk/gp/product/0...

“We didn’t burn him!”

If Baynam ever returns to publishing, I remind you to run from her. Don't look back. Just fucking shift it. Without question, the most unprofessional person I've ever dealt with in publishing. My book (with 2 others contracted) was published last year. I have never seen a penny or any sales figs.

Hot innit.

Hi, not sold anything for a wee while, these pieces of original art are still available and I think they’re good and thought someone might want them. Though you know. Who knows? Thank you all for being supportive www.chloecumming.com

The 'marketing' bots emailing me about my books and lack of reviews is really starting to get up my arse. I'm blocking them all but more are coming each day.

AI really is shite.

Quick note to anyone thinking of buying my books: please purchase the new Swift Press versions, NOT the relatively small number of Unbound versions still knocking about, & being sold by OOINYA. Unbound stopped paying me for my work early in 2024 and I will never see a penny for these books.

I see curtains for Zoosha has mutated into something worse.

Wife has had her gallbladder removed. They wouldn't let me keep it.

Pick a Bond from photos you already have on your phone.

Obligatory 'I used to know her sister' joke.

“Use AI or get left behind!” Please, leave me behind. Drop me off on the side of the road somewhere. Sentence me to a remote cabin with a typewriter and some wildflowers that don’t know how to use the internet

So ummm…surprise! Cover reveal time!

This is your periodic reminder that word of mouth moves more books than any formal advertising! I invite you to rec something you've recently enjoyed -- preference for the stuff that's *not* already extremely well-known and talked about everywhere.

Apparently my good buddy @kevharrison.bsky.social's excellent novella Pyres is on sale for 99p/99c until the end of tomorrow. I absolutely adored this one, and was lucky enough to work with Kev on the cover, think it's one of the ones I'm most proud of. It's also scorchingly political and cathartic.

6pm last night: a house at that new development you're interested in is available. 9am today: nah, sorry. It's gone.

Just came within a second of signing off and sending an email with 'many thanks for your tie'.

Draft 4 is going well so far. A little worried it'll come in as longer than my planned 90k and need cuts, but I'll cross that bridge etc. Seeing as this book has taken twice as many versions as usual (thanks to getting dumped my agent & a publisher closing so I lost 3 books), I won't let it beat me.

Second trip to the docs today for my alopecia affected beard. Total waste of time. Dermatology has a 14 month waiting list. I'll probably look more like a giant egg by then.

Actual lolz.

What the fuck is Angela doing? Seriously, I have no idea.

To direct a new Nightmare on Elm Street film? I mean, he's dead but I could get behind this.

The EastEnders omnibus.

If I got a whole set of Biggles books handed in to my second-hand bookshop I would also choose this one to put in the window

Takes you by the shoulders: Babe you gotta fucking swear. You gotta say dick when you mean dick, die when you mean die, rape when you mean rape. To do otherwise is " a doubleplusb*d situation," which is to say an absolute shitshow

Old gods rampaging across the globe. The chill of a dead man’s breath on your neck. The end of the world & the survivors facing something worse. The light at the end of the tunnel if only you can keep crawling towards it. Whatever dark fiction you like, I hope you find it here. author.to/LukeWalker

Talking to an elderly relative yesterday. They've been in their current house for 12 years after selling the home they lived in for 48 years. The reason? The area around their original home became 'tenated'. Imagine moving after 50 years because your unattached neighbours are renters.

Sent a selfie of my alopecia affected beard to my siblings group chat. Elder sister: It doesn't look too bad. Elder brother: Wanker. Eldest brother: You'll have to cut your head off.

Being just a jobbing writer in Canada I'm grateful not to need a GoFundMe to fund my fight with cancer, but if you'd like to buy a book or two anyway... www.williammeikle.com

That moment when you realise you subbed to an agent recently and that you also subbed the same book to them when they were at a different agency last year. And they already rejected it.

THREAD. In her exclusive interview in today's Daily Telegraph Magazine, the actor, influencer and designer Philippa Islington-Smythe (pictured) discusses the price of fame, her controversial new perfume, working with Margot Robbie and how becoming a parent changed her perspective on the world...

Happy to say that my story, "Echoes of an Endless Hour" is published with Horrific Scribes!!