Keggo
@scrambledkeggers.bsky.social
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(They/she) Getting a second degree in lung, neck tube, and mouth sounds ☀️ Fig’s person🐈⬛
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Keggo
donni saphire
1 day ago
Look, pal, I delight in your essence. Mind if I frolic around you
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Never not thinking about how when people say someone is “(insert attribute) incarnate” it’s just like saying “as meat” “she was poise as meat” “They were audacity as meat” “You’re beauty in the form of meat”
1 day ago
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Keggo
Chaucer Doth Tweet
12 days ago
Alas, somebodye took the German holidaye fruit breade. It was stollen!
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Beating the mom friend allegations by bringing fruit snacks to the function 😈 ha! That’ll show’em!
about 1 month ago
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Upcoming gigs: - choir section leader position my friend turned down that might end up being less than minimum wage - funeral for a man who’s currently alive 🤗 super excited for this busy year ahead! Wish me luck!!
about 2 months ago
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The bridal boutique I work at has made the baffling choice to consistently play what I like to call the “leave your fiance you’re gay” playlist featuring hits such as “good luck babe” “I kissed a girl” “pink pony club” and “I hope she cheats”
2 months ago
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La creatura
2 months ago
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Making intricate 18th century stays at midnight on a whim: I’m an artist! A visionary!! No one is doing it like me! Sewing a simple hem at my job where I am paid to sew professionally: what is a seam? I’m a baby deer in the forest taking my first wobbly steps. Oops the thread is tangled again
3 months ago
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Was for the first time not carded while buying cheap wine at the grocery store, I guess the black business casual blouse and the matching handbags under my eyes really screamed “this person is allowed”
3 months ago
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You may say the more expensive cat food is better, higher quality even, but I know the truth. My cat can taste money. She can smell and taste money and she likes the flavor. Baby princess Figgy’s favorite flavor is money
3 months ago
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Keggo
Kingfisher & Wombat
4 months ago
Gonna need you all to see the fantastic hairdo in this Manchester pigeon.
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People think learning languages is cool and sophisticated but the more I study, the more my grammatical structures have rocketed into absurdity. I just described my sister as “having tallness”. I mutter to myself “do I the my keys have?”
4 months ago
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She means business!! (she’s gonna catch a fly and then let it go and then catch it again and rinse and repeat till she accidentally eats it)
4 months ago
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Can’t any technology please just be dumb. I literally daydream about an old pair of earbuds I had that had physical buttons on them instead of this touch control nonsense. Stop adding touch sensors and ai to every damn thing I just want appliances with buttons that do what the buttons say they do
4 months ago
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Don’t wish on a star millions of miles away diva! Wish on a bat that lives in the abandoned barn right next door
5 months ago
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Proud new owner of a joann fabrics shopping cart about to be the saddest crafter and biggest menace this town has ever seen
5 months ago
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Love to be a person who enters sobbing in act two - whatever happens in the first 45 minutes of the opera is simply not my business
6 months ago
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Keggo
donni saphire
6 months ago
More foods should be alphabet shaped. Soup and chicken nuggets are only the beginning
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How do I explain to this petulant creature that I’m going to the laundry room for five minutes instead of to work for five hours she doesn’t believe me
6 months ago
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Wanted to smell like a tree but then I got over enthusiastic and now I smell like the forest is INVADING YOUR SENSES
6 months ago
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Keggo
farah naz rishi 🐦⬛
6 months ago
my hot take is that cats should be kept indoors. they kill billions of birds every year and decimate native bird populations. not to mention outdoor cats have a far lower life expectancy than indoor ones. if your cat gets “bored” inside, just play with them. i daresay it should be common sense??
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“May this year be the hot metal bucket in the sidewalk of your life”
6 months ago
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Keggo
donni saphire
6 months ago
“I’ve been better!” I chuckle, covered in mud, my giraffe costume in tatters
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Screaming crying throwing up
6 months ago
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Keggo
sky
7 months ago
Suddenly very exciting that my ADHD made me buy 17 jars of every seasoning because I kept misplacing them. When I find all the vanilla and cinnamon in this house I will be a real power player on the new underground spice road
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Keggo
Cats of Yore
7 months ago
It's time to start reminding people: LILIES ARE DEADLY FOR CATS. The leaves, the petals, the stem, even drinking a bit of vase water or licking a few grains of pollen from their fur can cause fatal kidney failure. ⚠️
www.fda.gov/animal-veter...
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Favorite little hack I’ve learned about myself is that my first symptom of oncoming illness is crying about nothing like “ope I’m in tears about doing laundry that’s suspicious, let’s make sure the medicine cabinet’s stocked up”
7 months ago
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Just a fucked up little lime cucumber gatorade enjoyer
7 months ago
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La creatura is 4 years old today!! Happy birthday Fig 🥰
7 months ago
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Keggo
Kingfisher & Wombat
7 months ago
You HAVE to celebrate good things. Even if they’re tiny and fragile and may blow away. In fact, you have to celebrate the fragile ones EVEN HARDER because who knows how many chances you get? If you constantly think how it will all go wrong, if every triumph is met with “but…” you will burn out.
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Keggo
Cats of Yore
8 months ago
If you're looking to transition your cat to indoor-only due to H1N1, great! There are many other benefits, too. But it may not go well if you just shut them in and call it a day, you need to commit to giving them an enriched indoor environment with lots of play.
felineengineering.com/blog/indoor-...
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Transitioning An Indoor/Outdoor Cat to Indoor Only • Feline Engineering
Outdoor access carries risk for a cat's health and safety. It can also lead to behavior problems. Here's how to transition your cat to a fully indoor life.
https://felineengineering.com/blog/indoor-outdoor-cat-to-indoor-only/
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Keggo
Erin Biba
8 months ago
It is absolutely incredible to watch what Musk did to Twitter play out in the *EXACT SAME WAY* with the US government. Come in like you’re an expert when you don’t know a single fucking thing. Fire everyone, destroy the entire infrastructure, leave a burning pile of shit, pat yourself on the back.
add a skeleton here at some point
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Having a cat is so fucking scary cause they act so weird all the time but then the most visible symptom of every major cat illness is “cat acts weird”
8 months ago
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Keggo
donni saphire
8 months ago
Give a man a fish? Sure. Give a stranger a weird fish gift. Who cares
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Despite the obvious choice, if I could punch one president living or dead it would still be andrew jackson. Fuck andrew jackson
9 months ago
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La creatura upsidedown
9 months ago
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Keggo
Charlotte Clymer
10 months ago
I really don't have any respect for nihilists in this moment. If you truly believe nothing can be done to better our world--and thus: why bother--I need you to take that shit somewhere else. I got no patience for it. There are too many vulnerable people who need us to waste time comforting cynicism.
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Keggo
Shiv Ramdas Mens Rice Activist
10 months ago
every single couple, gay straight married unmarried whatever has one partner who loads the dishwasher like theyre michelangelo finishing up the Sistine Chapel & another who chucks everything angrily and have a personal vendetta against plates, a dishwasher that takes sides is gonna end relationships
add a skeleton here at some point
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My family has had all feline pets until my sister brought home her mini Australian shepherd to visit- I’ve never seen the phrase “herding cats” displayed so literally
10 months ago
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Keggo
Joshua Holland
10 months ago
I’ve never donated to Wikipedia before but I set up a small monthly donation as a fuck you to the world’s richest psychopath.
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Elon Musk takes aim at Wikipedia
Musk has denounced Wikipedia as "Wokepedia" on X and urged people not to donate to the platform.
https://www.newsweek.com/elon-musk-takes-aim-wikipedia-fund-raising-editing-political-woke-2005742
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Keggo
Kaitlin Is Just Getting Started
10 months ago
Every time I see someone talk about the freedom of “self driving cars” I want to yell “YOU WANT A TRAIN”
add a skeleton here at some point
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La creatura enjoying her sunshine this morning
10 months ago
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Writing fanfic where in the age of fast fashion the yule cat pivots from eating people who don’t wear new clothes to eating people who wear shein
10 months ago
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Keggo
Ryan North? But - he died... 30 years ago this very night!!
almost 2 years ago
*walking in a winter wonderland* ME: where's bluebird? BIRD: gone ME: w... who are you? *bird looks around shiftily* BIRD: I'm new bird
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Keggo
Eli Valley
10 months ago
Lots of clarity today
add a skeleton here at some point
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We should use the word graduated in more contexts. Like it’s the one way to say you’re done with something where people are obligated to tell you congratulations! You didn’t break up with your boyfriend you graduated from that relationship!!
10 months ago
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Keggo
Barbiewithatude
10 months ago
Again, not
#Caturday
, but 'tis the season, so...
#EmiBoz
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Keggo
Kath Barbadoro
10 months ago
sesame street isn't supposed to make money. the post office isn't supposed to make money. not everything is supposed to MAKE MONEY
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My hot take is that a lot of the current loneliness problem comes from never unlearning the “stranger danger” lessons we were taught as kids. Talking to “strangers” is how adults make new friends but we’ve all internalized the idea that that’s weird and creepy
10 months ago
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