Baby Spinach is crying into my shoulder right now. How could you be so cruel

Ginger Spice really knew what was up more than the rest of them 🕵️. But on the other hand, I really do wish I could sprinkle some Posh or Scary into my soups 🤔. Wait… I want to make it clear I do NOT want to cook with any Baby 🙅‍♀️!

Just invented and drank a potion that turned me into Smosh. DM me for recipe

"presents" is the disease, "santa" is the carrier #AbolishChristmas #NoOneNeedsPresents #ItsGivingNothing #ScroogePilled #HumbugMaxxing

second verse on this is one of the funniest things i've ever heard

Music heads always get on to me for not knowing the lyrics to a song. If I wanted to care about the lyrics, I’d listen to a damn poem! #yearofportry

Anybody who has watched the Times pull this shit for ages knows this game. Good piece.

After the AI bubble I hope the next bubble is Laser Tag. Laser tag arenas on every street corner. Blacklight lit battlefields propping up every sector of the economy. A one story building by the side of the highway called “Blast Zone: Pizza & Arcade” valued at $2.7 trillion

yall: i have partnered with an up and coming artist known as "ChatGPT" and we are about the deliver some concept art for Disney Pixar's Q-Tips that will blow your mind

A poem to my cat: Please don’t get too scared, When the fire alarm goes off! I just burned B. Sprouts… #YearofPoetry

A poem about my ideal life: Sitting in my secret lair, Stroking my long beard hair. This is how I’d be chillin’, If I were a supervillain. Secret agents? There are none here. Because me, they really fear! 😈 My evil plans, there is no snitch, Surely will go off without a hitch! #YearofPoetry

I think I’d do pretty well on the great British bake off. I’ve put hundreds of hours into Toontown, so I’m already used to putting up with the Song and Dance of a Mr. Hollywood 😏

Caves of Qud does some of the coolest shit I’ve ever seen a video game do. And it only makes it cooler that in order to appreciate that shit you have to wander the salt marsh and desert getting your ass kicked by insects and birds for hours before you can see how the world is past the ascii display.

Seems like every tech company is betting on the theory that the reason Clippy is the most infamously hated software feature wasn’t because he was intrusive and often wrong/irrelevant, but because there wasn’t a gang of dullards who insisted he is/will become God. Not something I’d put much money on

every fucking time

Why did Aschenputtel’s shoes be made of glass? Leave your answer in your replies 🤗 A. So the shoes would break if she wasn’t prince 0Charming’s true love. 😁🧠 B. Because it’s the trendy fashion 👯‍♀️ C, so we can see her toes 🤯🤤👅

Best part about corn on the cob is the eroded stick of corn butter you get afterwards 🤤

Accepting every MAGA premise on “immigration” has moral costs, but assuming they’re all Savvy Trolly Problem Knowers, they should at least acknowledge it has **political downsides as well**. That it alienates many and makes counter messaging impossible because you look like total phony hypocrites.

‼️🚨BREAKING NEWS🚨‼️ the Evils have declared war on the Do-Gooders. May God have mercy on all our souls 😔

So.. they’re not even going to let the houseguests KNOW that he died? What the hell @ cbs???

Maybe worth mentioning yet again that no matter how much they update and change the narrative and obfuscate facts and correlations, many of the core concepts in every iteration of Alvin and the Chipmunks couldn’t actually happen.

The Ausnahmezustand or State of Exception is a legal theory developed by Nazi Carl Schmitt in that the Great Leader is permitted to violate the law in order to “save the country” from some other nebulous worse “crime”.

Grah! I'm struggling with this Silksong boss! Does anyone have any tips? He's just always hungry!

The Mastermind having the humor of a 2010 YouTuber is peak Big Brother

I spent 45 minutes with silksong and these are my first impressions: is this real? Events appear to transpire beyond some sort of barrier or screen I cannot influence aside from pressing buttons on my "side" of the dividing medium, but if these bugs are really doing all that it should be on the news

Back in 2005, a handberger was as big as my head! Now of days, they are smaller than my hand. Is it just me, or are they making our foods smaller since we growed up??

lmao lmao lmao lmao

I will say my favorite thing about the big brother fandom is that whenever someone complains about how it can be stressful to like sign your life away for 3 months to be totally isolated from society and under surveillance 24/7 and the fans are like “how DARE you? Do you have any idea

Looks like he’s training to be a super Mario brother

Fuck your zodiac, I want to know what Jelle’s Marble Run team you’re rooting for.

“Shiver me timbers” Is what all the pirates say Why is their wood cold? #YearOfPoetry

Thanks to AI I can bring the monopoly man to life like never before. He lives in my pocket and I can ask him any questions I have about making sound investments for financial growth.

Hot pockets commercial tv they opened up a guys tummy and puppeted his guts to make it talk. Are they allowed to show gore on theTV??

I’m loving all the hugs I’m getting from the lovely huggers

There’s a new geico commercial where the gecko is just minding his own business when your bad kid neighbor from as a kid picks him up and rips off his tail and tells you that their tails grow back

My jelly friend just betrayed me!

The award-winning Caves of Qud is coming to Nintendo Switch in Q4 2025!

a fun way social media platform discourse mirrors our economic conditions is this bizarre conviction that the only way for anything ever to survive in a worthwhile form is infinite and uninterrupted expansion

I used microdosing to enter debug mode in reality and viewed my own character sheet and my 3 personality traits were “craven” “churlish” and “dull.” What the hell

HELP: mom keeps telling me I have to wash my hands even though I tell her that the definition of insanity is doing something over and over again

Breaking news: Supreme Court has ruled that “just following orders” means that you are “off-the-hook” for any crimes committed. “Just in case anything happens” says the ruling.

My Marvelous App is solving all of my problems in amazing ways!!

All the panics & long features about political correctness & “free speech” on college campuses - with real buy in from centrist pundits at prestigious mags - was always a ruse for this: right-wing control over universities

Every day I wished I’d find a treasure map to which I’d put my mind. I’d think and think to solve the clues. go north? go south? I’d have to choose! My geniusness would help me learn which way to go and where to turn. And at the X that marks the spot? T’was all a ruse! My enemy’s plot 🤨 #YearofPo

The food court, what a cool place? Here you can fuel up for the mall rat’s chase! Shopping and shopping, buying all those things. Once you’re all worn out Take a break, eat some wings. Still hungry? Hit up my friend Wetzel. For a nice, big Buttery pretzel! #YearOfPoetry #ShoppingAtTheMall

The Mario brothers have taken the lead In my “brothers poems” Bluesky feed! I love these brothers From their toes to their teefs ‘Cause Mario and Luigi Haven’t any beefs! They jump on goombas Turtles and crows. Tell me, who could be cooler Than the Mario Bros?!

The Einstein Brothers, Are quite the duo! They invented matter And bagels too-oh! These culinary And science guys Sell peanut butter And have Nobel Prize Without these two My toaster would sigh No "E" from mc And no bagels to fry! #YearOfPoetry

The Wright Brothers, Now talk about Dope! This pair of brothers Teaches us to hope! This pair of bros Taught us to try and try. If you put your mind to it You can spread your wings and fly! Inventors like these Made our world a better place. Which is why making an invention Is the dream I chase!

…OMG… #yearofpoetry