MAINE CHARACTER SYNDROME

Fuck it #draftmsrachel

David Lynch’s Weekend at Bernie’s

Are Fried Shrimp Socialists the new Limousine Liberals?

Kers-pratt

A pet theory: Today’s shitty world is the result of the 2008 financial meltdown. The 2008 financial meltdown was largely a result of treating non-Gaussian distributions as Gaussian. The 20 percent cap on As at Harvard show our elites learned nothing.

If you’re in line to quit that weird concert, stay in line.

Billionaires: Barely conceal their boners as they describe how eager they are to replace their employees, who they clearly fucking hate, with glitchy robots. Media: “Why is everyone so down on the economy?”

Guy Fieri actually seems kind of fun and I don’t understand the level of vitriol against him.

King: I wrote the Dead Zone as a cautionary tale… GOP: We have finally installed the president from the Dead Zone!

Dear Potato Grower Magazine, I never thought it would happen to me…

Nobody seems to really understand that petroleum and/or corn are in everything and if either of those get interrupted the whole modern world goes into shock.

... of that last half-century, upstream of virtually any other problem that you can identify, and yet in mainsteam political discourse we *never talk about it*. It's the biggest, most salient political fact of all, just sitting there, looming, and no one fucking speaks it aloud.

I know I've said this a trillion times but I have to say it periodically to keep from going insane: The right ran a huge, well-funded, & ultimately successful campaign to completely take over political media & the infosphere more generally. This is by far the most important political development...

Best way to get a raccoon out of your garage?

Happy St Patrick’s Day Let me celebrate by reminding one and all of this banger… www.irishtimes.com/culture/tv-r...

Are we going to start doing the thing where we claim every Iranian we take out was the #3 man?

Always torn here. After years of seemingly unbeatable Glonzo based pandering by the GOP, Trump came in an declared them soft on Glonzo and completely detonated their establishment. This is funny. The dignity wraith-ing is also funny. Probably not good to encourage it though.

You buy one lousy sexplane on the company dime and they fire you?

Remember when George Bush couldn’t name the leaders in a bunch of hot spots and the people whose literal job is to explain what’s going on in the world chortled about how they wouldn’t be able to do it either then nothing happened and none of them had even a moment of self reflection?

In the TV Game of Thrones universe we really never see the worst of winter. Is that ever going to change? Do the books do this too?

Is it just me or was Canada the big line, the Bennett line and a bunch of guys wearing the Harry Potter invisibility cloak?

Canada going with an all asshole line: Wilson / Bennett / Marchand

White Shoe law firms go brrrrr!

Roberts to Johnson…

Les Wexner's attorney during the House Oversight Committee deposition on Epstein: "I will fucking kill you if you answer another question with more than five words."

Please for the love of god stop posting RFK JR / Kid Rock clips. My timeline looks like the search results for “gay meth house” on PornHub. It’s images so there isn’t a good way to mute it.

Tom Wilson getting ragdolled by a Frenchman is such a joy to watch.

Whether it’s Barack Obama, putting Dijon mustard on a hotdog or Vladimir Putin poisoning a political rival with frog toxins, both leaders have a colorful history of using strange substances.

Barstool Sports Spins Off New Literary Journal

lol this is gonna burst so fucking hard

Gwen Beck

Howard Dean’s career in electoral politics was ended over the course of a single 24 hour news cycle because he made a funny noise in a speech.

While it is sad that no successful adult males appear to have any friends in the 2020s, it is superior to the 2010s where it seems the majority of them all had the same friend.

Troublemaker is my middle name.

Did any of the new drops help explain how Epstein got infinite money? Still the biggest mystery in this disgusting saga!

Given what we’ve learned, there’s likely a couple more creeps out there running the Epstein game.

Annie Wilkes from Misery is spiritually Millennial: ▪️cottagecore ▪️extremely toxic fandom ▪️aggressive side part ▪️weird childish curses ▪️puritanical, but also ▪️horrifyingly perverted RIP Annie you would have been so good at BookTok

After years of the cover jinx, MLBPA to anoint a non-baseball player to appear on the box art as a sin-eater. Early candidates are Aaron Rodgers and Jimmy Fallon.

I’m know I’m just pissing out into the wind but maybe 1 relevant person might see this somehow… If you work for ICE or CBP, just quit. Walk away. Your friends and family will take care of you until you get a new job. People are more generous than you think. You don’t need to be part of this.

New Lawsuit: New York doctor accuses Guy Fieri of manipulating him into a rural practice in remote small town.

How dare you doubt George Conway is a real Democrat? He just texted asking for money

Our children live on this planet you know.

Well yesterday was another great Christmas Day for my PE firm. Working holidays hardcore is our “secret sauce”. Had a little trouble sleeping the night before (weird dreams about an old buddy and then my ex) but a couple Ambien crushed that noise hard!

So I hate to be That Guy, but we're entering into uncertain territory here with the Epstein Files, and it's more important than ever that we make sure we know all the facts before we blow things up. I'm talking now about the "tips" that DOJ is now releasing. They sound super salacious and evil.

this is the greatest feeling, when the cord box proves its utility to a family member

I'm predicting what's next

Riffing on Animal Farm to tell a story about authoritarianism rising from techno feudalists exploiting populism is not a terrible idea.

Michael C. Rockefeller got shipwrecked in 1963, washed up on an island, and was promptly eaten by cannibals.