Oh look the party that screams “family values” every five minutes is silent when one of their megachurch darlings pleads guilty to child sex abuse. But they’ll trip over themselves to ban books and attack drag shows. Tells you everything you need to know.

Man, we all make spelling errors, but this one is the epitome of low literacy.

Claim: 10 cars rammed ICE Truth: No cars rammed ICE Claim: She boxed ICE in Truth: ICE boxed her in Claim: She shot a rifle at ICE Truth: She did not have a rifle Claim: ICE returned fire Truth: Only ICE fired Claim: She drove herself to the hospital Truth: Paramedics found her

Depression is a terminal illness. Anyone who says otherwise is completely willfully ignorant to the number of suicides AND mass shootings that depression results it.

Liberals would be the very first to shame a potential school shooter for being honest about their mental health struggles.

does it bode well when a federal judge schedules a hearing at 7PM on a sunday night

I have watched 100% of Point Break but only in like 60% increments. It's like section hiking the Appalachian Trail where you've never thru hiked it even though you've hiked every mile.

Remember when that owner of a Lakeville bar bragged about defying Covid restrictions and posted a thin blue line flag in his bar but then also got charged with attempted murder of Burnsville cops?

This is the weird hubris that Minnesota has. Their "small cities" are literally just suburbs in a metro area. bringmethenews.com/minnesota-li...

The Big XII was never more at its peak than when Mikes Leach and Gundy were at their peaks.

NFL TDs thrown by Hawkeye QBs in the last 5 years: 1 NFL TDs thrown by Cyclone RB David Montgomery in the last 2 years: 2

Minneapolis is a dangerous hellhole, a killing field, and is incapable of running free and fair elections. Sincerely, the committee to reelect the guy who's been mayor for 8 years. Thank you for your attention to this matter.

I joked that if I still played fantasy football, I'd just draft an all Iowa State team, but that might've actually been a winning strategy.

If you showed this tweet to James Madison, he would be like, "yes, this is why I wrote the 2nd Amendment"

96% of "mental health advocates" are anything but.

New Episode! There was a time when brewpubs were all the rage but now many of those chains have closed or condensed. We take a look at this despite more and more taprooms converting into things that look like brewpubs. Listen at the link! unitedwedrink.libsyn.com/150-brewpubs

“Finished bar”

Remains undefeated:

SCOOP — Pennsylvania prosecutors were alerted to possible voting irregularities by one of MAGA's leading voices against voter fraud. A long paper trail shows Jack Posobiec has been living in Maryland but voting using his parents' PA address for years. From @jsweetli.bsky.social, @slate.com + me:

This should go well. I'm sure we'll discuss this on @unitedwedrink.com

the beatnik economy? you mean snapitalism?

I’m gonna say something controversial: I actually don’t think chickpea anxiety is real

Was anyone really expecting TSA to show up and not get paid?

The titular Mario’s eponymous video game

“Jacob Frey was here” sign up on one of the lines of fencing around the Steves/Greenway bike/ped ramp. Whoever did this: thank you.

Matthew 15:29-31: And great crowds came to him, bringing with them the lame, the blind, the crippled, the mute, and many others, and they put them at his feet, and he healed them after verifying their citizenship status.

This is illegal, plain and simple, with penalties including removal from federal service, debarment from federal employment for five years, and a fine of $1000. 5 U.S.C. § 7326. A country which valued the rule of law would enforce its laws.

Don't confront me with my failures I had not forgotten them Jackson Browne wrote that when he was 16 years old.

My favorite thing about Oddisee is he dresses like that dad who taught your cub scout den about pulleys after buying u bolts at the local hardware store.

Ready for Oddisee when Ryley captured the best lighting.

I'm gonna start a black market head lice exchange for parents who want to get out of their kid's traveling sports.

an extraordinary person with an extraordinary legacy who nevertheless didn’t take herself too seriously when Gary Larson published this cartoon, she was in Africa and her institute was horribly offended and drafted a complaint the whole thing was defused when she returned - she found it funny

quick while the government is shut down let’s all switch to metric

You know how sometimes coaches or athletes don't know when to hang it up and it's better to hang it up than destroy your legacy? That's how I'm feeling about *points at everything* lately.

Had a good run. Thanks for all the fish.

If I pay into it, it isn't a benefit. I can't believe "I hate the gubmint cuz taxes" crowd doesn't get that.

That’s actually pretty good.

It blows my mind that people believe cancel culture is real when Dave Portnoy continues to exist.

Remember when Buzz Aldrin punched that douche who claimed the moon landing was faked? We need more of that kind of energy.

It me

College football would be better off if they abolished the AP poll.

Dudes next to me at the bar--who came to watch football, mind you--think Dan Marino is an actor. I am 3 billion years old.

I want a buck burger and cheese balls from Cy's circa 1999-2001. Anyone have a time machine?

I'm not sure that people outside the brewing industry really understand how dire it is out there right now

Meanwhile at the Riyadh comedy festival

I will never not see Nick Kroll whenever they show Mike McDaniel.

I’m planning on releasing a new version of my accounting service where I steal all the money and move to Fiji unless my clients opt out of having their money stolen. Please give me $400b in venture capital.

In our recent survey of 6,000 fans, just 2.5% named Rocco Baldelli as most to blame for the Twins' struggles. www.nytimes.com/athletic/659...