If you’re into football, today is basically your Super Bowl

Hear me out…a porn where Aunt Gladys from Weapons and Longlegs bang it out.

Peep this crybaby who I made fun of 3 years ago on Twitter. He missed me so bad that he made an account on Bluesky (multiple, I’m sure) so he can let me know he’s still thinking about me. Gotta love my fans

Good to know you still search me out on a daily basis. Rent free.

for your block lists, i submit kairokenshi.bsky.social: white supremacist, stalker and, if you take him at his word, sex criminal

Hi Kairo. Copy and paste this to Twitter so I know I’m in your head. Oh wait. You can’t. You lost another account 😘

TIL Q tips apparently aren’t supposed to be used for cleaning ears

I hear my obsessed stalker over on Twitter got insanely triggered by this post. So here it is again, just to increase my tear collection

I feel like this needs another gentle reminder

Today is my 15,588th day of not learning to ride a unicycle

Would love to read a lengthy nonfiction piece exploring how Grady Hendrix's Paperbacks From Hell and the imprint from @valancourtbooks.bsky.social have created a genuinely new collector's market, and helped numerous largely forgotten authors and estates escape obscurity. We should celebrate that.

I’m seeing lots of gripes about pg-13 horror, and my opinion is that intro horror is a great thing for the genre. There’s plenty of R rated films out there for your viewing pleasure. Let the kids have Five Nights at Freddy’s.

This is a gentle reminder that Karen Carpenter fucking wails on the drums.

I wonder if Danzig really is a goddamn son of a bitch and he’s just projecting

Find someone that looks at you the way Dave Mustaine looks at ellipses in song titles

The Sheraton by Universal Hollywood really doesn’t care for the shower gel they put in the rooms. That’s just mean

What’s a random quote from the simpsons that pops into your head all the time?

I met the guy who claimed to have drawn the first bored ape before it became an NFT thing. I almost didn’t believe him but he seemed super embarrassed so I don’t know…I think it’s true.

i don’t want to say our halloween decorations caused a wreck in front of our house but our halloween decorations caused a wreck in front of our house

Well it appears the national emergency alert system works, so now I know when to head to The Winchester.

How do you do, fellow kids?

Olivia Rodrigo is metal as fuck don’t @ me

Ok NEEED this one

Happy September 10!

Post your favorite fictional band

Lol Elon’s pretending to be important

Why do phishing emails always have bad grammar and spelling? Like always. I’ve never seen one that looks right

The number of people in pop music who wear Hawaiian shirts and write songs about food just got noticeably smaller.

Fuck, Marry, Kill is so violent. Let's change it to Hug, Buy the same Video Game, Kill.

In 1968, Joe Pesci released an album titled Little Joe Sure Can Sing. This was before he discovered the word “fuck”

Grandmas can have a little bit of takis

Just found out the cake I’ve been eating was a woman

Find a better tour poster. I’ll wait

Folks…not everyone you argue with is racist. Stop.

Can we get some new main characters, but they only ever talk about What We Do in the Shadows?

New album cover just dropped

What. The. Fuck.

Fuck, marry, kill: Fuck, marry, kill

If I wanted updates on the republican debate, I’d go hang out at the Applebees bar and order a florpa. No clue what a florpa is but I bet Applebees has them on the appateazers menu

that look when you're three hours into "5 more minutes" until you stop gaming

First concert: the oak ridge boys Last concert: dead & company Best: the flaming lips Runner ups: flight of the conchords Worst: van Morrison Seen the most: the gourds (10+ times)

The mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell

Normalize public shamings of people who back into parking spots

Peter Dinklage as Toxie? Count me in

Happy Texas Chainsaw Massacre Day to all those who celebrate 🍖

I am Buzznough