Question: What do we think would happen if a xenomorph host did a lot of hard drugs and drank alcohol during the chestburster gestation period? This question brought to you by my wife’s Halloween costume arriving in the mail looking like this

Annoyed by South Park’s sudden unannounced shift from season 27 to season 28 rendering my Apple season pass useless. (I had cancelled my Paramount+ and moved over to Apple because it was the only show I was watching.) They still haven’t released s28e01 on Apple either

A frustrating thing about this administration is there are no jokes funnier than simply observing them consistently unwittingly failing as human beings

Baker Mayfield

The way the cowboys get bailed out with bogus calls on failed third down conversion is infuriating

ESPN’s insistence on having Dak Prescott in the MVP conversation is bizarre. His stats are inflated by two overtime games in five weeks (one that went the distance) and his two wins are against the Jets and Giants (which was only possible because of a 64-yard FG and a Russ meltdown)

Congratulations to her but I’m going to go out on a limb here and say Twitch was a mistake.

I know this is not new but I still think it’s funny that First Take cut all pretense and added a character whose whole shtick textually and explicitly is that he’s always mad.

I saw a TV promo a few days ago for Taylor Swift’s appearance on Jimmy Fallon where she’s matching his energy 1 for 1 and everything just snapped into focus for me. It was like watching the end of the Usual Suspects

The least surprising thing to ever happen

How is there no such thing as a dog xenomorph Halloween costume for sale?

Imagine being such a failed screenwriter that you pivot your political grift to posting media-illiterate film reactions, exclusively trashing good (and popular) films

God awful offensive pass interference call in Colorado’s favor in a close game.

The way television announcers talk about Arch Manning is embarrassing

3 years in prison for what he did is insane. This country is broken. (I know the most egregious charges didn’t stick but we know he did it all.)

Silent Hill f is so good for so many reasons

[Me pitching a TV commercial that’s guaranteed to be greenlit and make me rich] Ok, so it’s just LeBron James chuckling silently at everything Kevin Hart says, whether it’s funny or not…

That’s intentional grounding

I don’t think that facemask happens if he wasn’t being held. Should’ve been offsetting

What are these calls at the goal line in favor of Dallas?

The evidence mounts that MrBeast is literally the devil

Watching @pabably.bsky.social play Silent Hill f and it looks fantastic but being a wuss I could never play it myself I'm so happy it's getting good reviews. I know fans have been waiting forever for this new entry into the franchise

A stranger paid it forward for my lunch today. Never had that happen to me before. Kindness is cool. (Was also cool to get to keep the pay it forward chain going.)

I need to acknowledge that tonight is like Christmas for me. Silent Hill F early access. Let me know if I can answer any questions

Yorgos doesn’t miss. #FantasticFest #Bugonia

The Cowboys are a 10-loss team or worse when Dak can’t underthrow DPI-bait Ceedee Lamb

The only way SISU: ROAD TO REVENGE could kick more ass is if it went back in time and took that ass to get a BBL #FantasticFest

this exists it is called thinking

#FantasticFest opening night 🎥 PRIMATE 🎥 CRUSHED

I didn’t think I’d be able to attend Fantastic Fest at all this year. Through providence I was able to score a badge and the time off to attend the full fest stress-free. I’m feeling very lucky and very chaotic

The Cowboys needing a 64-yard FG to force OT and then needing three possessions to set up a 40+ yard game-winner in OT against the Russ-pilled Giants AT HOME does not bode well for them

Russ decided it was too good a day

No DPI on that Nabers TD is wild

Part of what keeps America so violent is the insistence that people perform care, empty goodness and absolution for white men who espouse hatred and violence.

Please, please listen to me: MAGA world has a lot of money to pay "researchers" to trawl niche social media sites like this one, and take posts that will provoke enormous outrage and plaster them across multiple platforms. Please think about what you're posting before you hit "Post"

I assure you that being a ghoul about this online today is not in your best interest. Ghoul in private

That iPhone Pro is ghastly

To me, that’s preposterous! Executive orders, things of that nature

My uncle had blueskyism when I was little. It was one of those things that wasn’t openly talked about but all the grown ups acted differently around him. Then one Christmas morning we all found him. Nothing tragic happened. We just found him because we’d been looking to give him his tamale plate

Traffic sucks in every Texas city but being stuck in traffic in San Antonio is particularly embarrassing because where are you even going? Chacho’s?

In before the funniest news of our lives

Twisted Metal season two may not have stuck the landing, (that bizarre reveal near the end of [REDACTED] really being a resurrected [REDACTED] was not great) but everything up to that point was pitch perfect, for which I’ll always be grateful

We are certainly living in some sort of reality

Alien: Earth is everything we’ve been waiting for

Okay I found the most depressing post

oh god this is the true curse of the millennial

There are a lot of reasons to be thoroughly annoyed and want this man catapulted into the sun but getting the character’s name wrong tells you everything you need to know about this loser and his kind

I can’t believe how much they’ve nailed Twisted Metal. I’m fucking levitating right now after watching episode 5

Weapons