Please do not put prescription glasses that turn into sunglasses on children. To me, that child is my aunt, smoking by the window, in from out of town, asking me to get more matches from the cupboard.

My chronic back pain has cured itself thru no doing of my own. Which is way worse than having chronic back pain.

email should get you high

Rudderless is such a vicious dig. Cuts fucking deep.

Overnight Oats sounds like the name of a racehorse who sucks

The new trout breakfast snack wraps from Tim Horton’s look super craveable.

what you guys make in a year i make in 16-18 months

the year is 2025. the vice president of the United States is telling critics of Adolf Hitler to “grow up.”

Ready or not here I plum

Journalism is back

@paulw34.bsky.social hi Paul do have any confidence is Ysavage or Suarez tonight in h2h?

I seent a deer

Blue sky is becoming the everything website

This isn’t your mother’s hagsploitation. (Or is it?!)

It was unnecessary of my haters to post a picture of me on the Winnipeg subreddit.

I am bound only for the pit

Bryan Johnson’s wife waking up in a sweat: “ I had that nightmare again. The one where you forgot to electrocute your penis.”

Cigarettes are not doing a great job of advertising these days.

Excited to announce our nephew’s line of kindergarten grad mercg just dropped. His name is Reince Preibus and you can grab your “I stand with Reince” T’s at the link below 🥰

Gonna make a risky trade in my fantasy baseball league just to cure this hangover.

Golden Tuesday is such a badass nickname, I wonder what my name calls me.

If you get put with me at work, it’s because the top brass does not think very highly of you.

New Pelican rips

God: “I saw you flip off that squirrel that one time.” Dead me: “I’d do it again.”

My ai doctor says that my gravitation field is collapsing and that I’m a black hole.

Everyone is acting like industrial grade machine grease can’t also be delicious.

Mustchup or Ketchtard? The age old question that has kept these ancient houses out of the same bottle for millenia.

The wind feels like hot soup being poured on your skin.

Calling my first solo album “The songs of Leonard Cohen”.

He’s being called “the sexiest pope yet”.

The spice is flowing on the dust planet today! 🌎 🏜️

If you get 2 minutes for braining somebody in an nhl game, you should not be rewarded with a variety of colourful drink choices. Q

It’s a great time to be alive if you’re a piece of shit who doesn't like consequences

I don’t love having to fight another dad at the first day of U6 soccer but those are the rules.

Hell yeah Jets

I'm a deeply flawed individual, but I bring joy to the world.

Seems like all my friends are slowly quitting drinking and social media simply because it’s bad for their physical and mental health? To that I say: Blawghawedghagwrgadas

A righteous new @propagandhi.com day to all who observe. 🤘

Love smoking parking lot cigars with Danny & Rick.

Beautiful day to smoke cigarettes at Assiniboine park.

Waverley 2 blocks northbound of McGilivary

Are the volunteers allowed to tear up your vote?

Folk songs be like : When gwinnet be dinner time

Had a standoff with a raccoon the size of a German Shepard on the back deck last night. 🦝 🔫

Retiring instead of dying? Couldn’t be me.