Ready or not here I plum

Journalism is back

@paulw34.bsky.social hi Paul do have any confidence is Ysavage or Suarez tonight in h2h?

I seent a deer

Blue sky is becoming the everything website

This isn’t your mother’s hagsploitation. (Or is it?!)

It was unnecessary of my haters to post a picture of me on the Winnipeg subreddit.

I am bound only for the pit

Bryan Johnson’s wife waking up in a sweat: “ I had that nightmare again. The one where you forgot to electrocute your penis.”

Cigarettes are not doing a great job of advertising these days.

Excited to announce our nephew’s line of kindergarten grad mercg just dropped. His name is Reince Preibus and you can grab your “I stand with Reince” T’s at the link below 🥰

Gonna make a risky trade in my fantasy baseball league just to cure this hangover.

Golden Tuesday is such a badass nickname, I wonder what my name calls me.

If you get put with me at work, it’s because the top brass does not think very highly of you.

New Pelican rips

God: “I saw you flip off that squirrel that one time.” Dead me: “I’d do it again.”

My ai doctor says that my gravitation field is collapsing and that I’m a black hole.

Everyone is acting like industrial grade machine grease can’t also be delicious.

Mustchup or Ketchtard? The age old question that has kept these ancient houses out of the same bottle for millenia.

The wind feels like hot soup being poured on your skin.

Calling my first solo album “The songs of Leonard Cohen”.

He’s being called “the sexiest pope yet”.

The spice is flowing on the dust planet today! 🌎 🏜️

If you get 2 minutes for braining somebody in an nhl game, you should not be rewarded with a variety of colourful drink choices. Q

It’s a great time to be alive if you’re a piece of shit who doesn't like consequences

I don’t love having to fight another dad at the first day of U6 soccer but those are the rules.

Hell yeah Jets

I'm a deeply flawed individual, but I bring joy to the world.

Seems like all my friends are slowly quitting drinking and social media simply because it’s bad for their physical and mental health? To that I say: Blawghawedghagwrgadas

A righteous new @propagandhi.com day to all who observe. 🤘

Love smoking parking lot cigars with Danny & Rick.

Beautiful day to smoke cigarettes at Assiniboine park.

Waverley 2 blocks northbound of McGilivary

Are the volunteers allowed to tear up your vote?

Folk songs be like : When gwinnet be dinner time

Had a standoff with a raccoon the size of a German Shepard on the back deck last night. 🦝 🔫

Retiring instead of dying? Couldn’t be me.

When selecting a vegetable for butt stuff, no one will argue against the humble cucumber.

Hello and well met, Mastercard! I’d like to apply for your finest and cheapest card that permits off-shore betting.

The Action team is an insane name for city department.

Clothing is a cultural language used to identify and reflect in different societal situations. What I’m trying to portray with this specific ensemble is that I like Slayer.

Pope Francis, “The Franchise” as he preferred to be called, was one of our most prolific at the rim defenders.

Happy ‘Ster, you guys.

Finding out one of the other daycare dads is a problem alcoholic:

Used pills to fall asleep last night. 9 hours of dry, empty malnourishing slumber. Feel nothing.

Camping outside H&R Block so I can get the best taxes

It’s all happening on Twitter: the everything app.