"But I want a whole pie!" --Artie

Son of a bitch. -- Susie She's gained a pound in a week!

ER doc here! This is a lie. Wait times are up because the American healthcare system is an unsustainable business model and a for-profit national healthcare system just doesn’t work. These problems will continue to get worse until we change that system. It literally has nothing to do with immigrants

Tom Homan always looks like he smelled something incredibly foul nearby. Not wholly inaccurate, I'd wager.

1/ So big doings at our house. We've been feeding this stray cat outdoors for about a week. Yesterday she allowed pets, and I picked her up and long story short she's been to our vet and now is living in our basement while we medicate her and fatten her up. Her name is Susie.

Most advertised case of public masturbation I've ever heard of.

NAME HIM. NAME HIM.

Despite living with 4 cats and a husband who is occasionally awkward and breaks things, I long for this lamp. Dragon's tail lamp, designed by Kenneth Cobonpue, insane price.

Friends, a lot of people with platforms have been discussing the recent comments of the US Ambassador to Canada, Pete Hoekstra, through the lens of patriotism and dismissive humour. I would like more Canadians to know who he is, and consider him more contextually, please. 🧵

The National Archives under the Trump administration released @mikiesherrill.bsky.social full, unredacted Navy personnel file to Jack Ciattarelli's campaign. This is an unprecedented and illegal weaponization of the National Archives and private, personal records to attack a political opponent.

Some years ago, my mother told me that I would call this particular type of pylon "Chinese ladies". I can kind of see it ... a qipao dress and a hanfu cap. I wish I had my childhood curiosity and vision back!

Two weeks ago, without a suspect or a motive, Trump and the entirety of right-wing media, led by Fox, recklessly and falsely blamed "the left" for Charlie Kirk's murder. None have apologized, even after death threats and incitement. Stop playing their rigged game. Tell them to Fuck Off.

Get in losers, we’re grieving

Three years ago today we lost Mr Cuddles to an osteosarcoma in his jaw which was untreatable, and shoving his eye out of alignment. His final meal was rotisserie chicken, his top, top favorite. Hug your furkids!

BREAKING: Chicken Pox caused by Vicks Vap-o-Rub: White House BREAKING: Astigmatism caused by chewable vitamins and parental failure to invest in Trump Coin: NIH BREAKING: Havana Syndrome caused by component of Tito’s: CIA BREAKING: Red hair caused by potato consumption: Marine Corps

No. This is not the way to move forward, this is just more appeasement. Just refuse to sign on, don't give an inch. You just gathered up what little power you had and delivered it into Trump's tiny hand. I am disgusted with our leadership.

This is who's actually writing my posts

OH MY GOD THANK YOU UK! All is forgiven re: burning the WH that time.

The thing about a guy like JD Vance is when things cycle around(and they always do) he'll be out there trying to outwoke everyone else the moment he thinks that's the path to personal benefit

“People shouldn’t be killed because of political beliefs!!!” Me thinking of all the women and girls dying because they can’t get medical help thanks to the GOP’s ham fisted abortion bans: “Yeah. No, I know.”

Not sure, but I don't think the guard much likes this "assignment", patrolling American cities like a goon squad. Maybe play ... oh, "Dirty Work" by Steely Dan?

BABY GROUNDHOG ATE MY BRASSICAS!

Ahem

Update: Civil War cancelled due to shooter being demographically uncooperative

"Artie, wouldn't you like to share the ru..." "NO. MINE."

Cut his FUCKING mic, Mika. #Homan

Seems a good day to remind anyone who didn’t vote for Harris to go fuck themselves.

This ⬇️ PLEASE check with your grocery store pharmacies - we love ours, and they keep us very well informed on all vaccine info from the state of NY. Please check - we're going to have to find workarounds until all this shit is over. And it WILL be over.

Guardsmen have a choice to make: If you show up here, you'll have disgraced your uniform and tarnished your service, which you should no longer expect to be thanked for. To be sure, saying "I won't do that" isn't an easy or consequence-free choice. But it's one you'll be judged on.

This is an actual exchange from a VP who took an oath to defend the constitution and, as a citizen, is expected to abide by the law. May we one day have accountability for the grotesque lawlessness of this regime.

💙

BIRB.

There's a part of The Cat Distribution System that we don't speak of very often: The Final Re-Distribution Event. We lost a real one yesterday, cat people (childless or not): please send your best thoughts to @strayliotta.bsky.social at the loss of sweet Egg. Enjoy this thread of a Very Good Boy.

I think I might be sorely tempted to waste as much of the court's time as I could, demanding a clear and comprehensive definition of what "defacing" involves.

I think it’s important to remember that “the village idiot” isn’t necessarily that village’s ONLY idiot, he’s just the most famous one

"Concern" ... checking, checking ... nope, am fresh out.

I SO hope I'm right about this: this guy is a genius with media and amazing with people - both 1 on 1 and in the aggregate - and I really really hope he wins!

Birb watch going well this morning.

Oliver gets it exactly right.

I'm not sure who to feel bad for. Oh. Wait. I know! Neither one. Let the earth cleave and Dr Phil and the Christian network all fall into Earth's core.

It ain't COVID, buddy. It's your position on DEI.

If you want to put back statues and memorials and names of Confederate traitors while tearing down museum exhibitions on slavery because they don't show the greatness of the nation... the nation whose history you're celebrating is whiteness. The kind of nationalist you are is a white nationalist.

I grew up in Florida and I remember all of us kids with our little gridded charts, tracking hurricanes as they approached. Weird to think that I may have to fall back on that skill at this late date.

I wish this dead-eyed moron would just walk into the sea.

Temu Kremlin!

Not again!

I was 13 years old, helping my mother fold clothes, and I remember this so clearly. I'd watched the hearings all summer (Mo Dean's hair fascinated me, by the way) and suspected something significant was happening. Wish it would happen again.

Sorry to be That Person, but does anyone have any hints on how to watch this here? Streaming anywhere? I already checked Apple TV (it says somewhere that you can watch on that service but NOPE). Thanks, universe!

New York has entered the chat 💬