gonna try baking something tomorrow. should i do caramel apple or strawberry & apricot turnovers? *not both 😵‍💫

durag on and freestyle YouTube videos hours

drunk making meatballs q that's the dream

they said i curse too much. i thought that was part of my charm. 😵‍💫

IT’S TUESDAY. YOU KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS.

Iono I feel like newspapers shouldn't have paywalls for stories about life threatening food recalls. When the chocolate is spiked with viagra www.latimes.com/business/sto...

i still haven't watched Rebecca Sugar's The Elephant and it's all of 23 minutes. 🥴 and it's an 'exquisite corpse' narrative style! how neat!

what happened to that nap i was gonna take? i was dozing off at my desk yet now that i'm home i feel ready for some action

matter fact, don't even tell me a joke tomorrow. i'll throw a coffee table at you

It's Christopher Walken's 83rd birthday, but he's brought a present for you. Watch him all day in PULP FICTION, SUICIDE KINGS, THINGS TO DO IN DENVER WHEN YOU'RE DEAD, and STAND UP GUYS on Pluto TV Crime Movies: pluto.tv/us/live-tv/5...

Seasoning. I don't crave sugar on most days, but salt is one of my basic food groups

😭😭😭

me tbh

Josh Johnson presents: The Mini-Roast of "Paradise" actor Sterling K. Brown

Philadelphia is the greatest city in the world (sound on).

Super easy you require school ID or state ID at the door. And the same rules apply as an adult age club except if you are older than you cannot get in. I used to go to a couple in HS. Not sure if state laws or other things (fights etc) got in the way but they were very common

Very quickly. And never ever lol. I cannot be convinced, compaigned or cajoled into fucking someone I simply don't want to.

I like the idea of teen clubs but I'm unsure how to prohibit growns from coming in You'd obviously need adult employees (thoroughly background checked) and an iron-clad reporting system for any fuckery. But there should totally be somewhere young folks can go that isn't school/home/church-centric

Reflexes

happy 10th birthday to this diva

I ate. I feel better. 🤗

how can you even tell if you're perimenopausal if your periods were always irregular? i didn't get one until I was bout 17 and even then it was sporadic -- maybe every other month or so.

I love this Vulture interview with Brandy from a few years ago about the making of Cinderella. www.vulture.com/2021/02/bran...

I don't think we're ready to laugh so hard. Let me do some stretches.

Someone on Facebook said, "I guess Chili really do go with crackers." AND I AM HOLLERIN.

On the Mexican version of The Office ("La Oficina"), there's a line in the first episode that says: "Working for a family business is like going to an American high school - you never know when shots will be fired." 10/10, no notes.

Watching struggling app developers defend attie because they like AI when attie is going to make their app unfundable 2 months from now >>>>>>>

It gets to a point!!

You not wrong at all lmao, it gets to a POINT 😭

Christ. i muted every iteration of "holy" and "bald' i could think of because y'all beat that horse deader than dead. gotta add wholesome too

"Heaven sent" is a very funny new joke format, because Larussell was smoking premium unleaded dick

If you shit in my sink (and expect me to clean it) I will be TELLING the WHOLE WORLD and attributing it to your real ass name, middle name and all. Omg. Lol.

guys, remember that time he did a song about Rubin "Hurricane" Carter, and he said, "To the white folks who watched, he was a revolutionary bum, And to the black folks he was just a crazy nigger No one doubted that he pulled the trigger"

5-8.

ENOUGH INTERNET FOR ME TODAY!

I'll be nicer tomorrow.

Mitch McConnell ass puppet

Muting speed. Omg. Everybody shut up.

In retrospect this is very funny

I think every post i've made today has had the word 'fucking' in it somewhere. Omg I'm so annoyed at everything everywhere, let me go eat and shut up.

you're not a fucking empath you just agree with whoever is in front of you, Gavin Newsome.

Considered ordering a pizza but I don't want anyone else to reap the benefits of my angry laziness today.

Fuck this shit I’m so sick of real world crime being filtered through a scripted lens that will invariably take dramatic liberties

I met ONE person who said it often, and after a few months I got them to admit no they were not, they just like saying so.

fucking everything on here is annoying and stupid today.

I know a ref HATE to see Paige coming. Lmaoooooooo They even pulled the clips from high school. It’s in her, not on her! 😂