What To Know About Hantavirus https://theonion.com/what-to-know-about-hantavirus/

SHE'S AT THE L&D I think it was my text tbh, I am magical

Spirit Airlines Resumes Business After CEO Finds Nickel On Ground

Realized that I got to wish ALL of my sisters a happy Mother's Day today! One is jumping the gun a little but my newest nephew is expected to debut sometime this week so it definitely counts!

Got a free mimosa at brunch! It was pretty tasty. Food itself was mid but the coffee was excellent and so was dessert. Plus it was only a three minute drive, & since I am both basic AND lazy it was a nice morning. Had a two hour phone chat with my oldest when I got back, too. Perfect.

Spooner calling Greg "Grg" is consistently the funniest running gag on Rooster and I crack up every time

GOOD MORNING IS COFFEE TIME NOW

Did Elmo fix the Phillies?

Sitting at kid's guitar lesson, then stopping at the library before heading home to do a pantry and freezer clear out ROCKIN THE SUBURBS (It really needs to be done though)

one of my children picked up their loaded baked potato and ate it like a sandwich I'm not even mad, I'm more impressed at the creative thinking

I am not with the dogs at the vet but am getting periodic reports and Susie is at 28 pounds (on target) and Roscoe is pushing 60 so in future we shall call him Count Chonkula.

Crispy fountain Coke Zero with a bendy straw Fresh hot coffee at the end of a restaurant dinner; I don't know why it hits but it just does

the king I fucking love this guy

I am absolutely furious that the state has decided that I have to upload personal identification documents to our healthcare website in order to verify changes. Because, you know, healthcare companies are so aboveboard and beyond reproach or suspicion.

baba booey

today in small town FB drama, we have "changed hours at the dump" and everyone has gone into meltdown mode

any post on this site describing something bad happening in a "red state" receives dozens of deranged replies saying that the residents deserve the worst. a group fantasy of suffering, with "yes, and" recursively tacked onto each reply. a million tiny judges pounding miniature gavels. guilty. guilty

Terrified Adolis García Wondering If Anyone Else Can See Phillie Phanatic https://theonion.com/terrified-adolis-garcia-wondering-if-anyone-else-can-see-phillie-phanatic/

December 2025 - wallaby escapes animal sanctuary in Gloucester Co May 2026 - wallaby escapes CMC Zoo I love my country South Jersey but I'm just going to say it: someone needs to take away our wallabies. We are just not good at it.

JUST SING IT NOBODY IS HERE TO SEE YOU SPECIFICALLY

first college visit scheduled for the youngest! Looks like we're heading to Boston in August.

really brutal stuff having Star Wars Day and Cinco de Mayo back to back. Just lots of dimbulb dogshit out there

apparently the dogs just chased off a door to door solicitor so my whole family isn't having any parts of it today

Got to channel my not-so-inner Ida Blankenship by yelling "I DON'T WORK FOR YOU" and hanging up I love AP&G Mondays

Going along with the stupid decision to rename Star Wars "A New Hope" is boot licking behavior. Senpai will never notice you, dorks.

Alito signing the order is the biggest “Don’t start this six months before midterms, you idiots” signal imaginable

was he the source of the hantavirus outbreak

My latest. America is giving dying mall vibes. open.substack.com/pub/karenatt...

lmao

I was two years old and shouting "MOMMY PLAY ANYBLUE [Emmylou]" so this is one of those Kool Aid Man questions for me, I'll bust in through the wall and just start listing one zillion people

Joel Embiid and the Sixers made history (the good kind this time!) www.cbssports.com/nba/news/joe...

ok I like a snappy anthem this is okay

Nothing the Phillies do can hurt me. They are Philadelphia’s dedicated sin eater today

Game day!

Ok, this is getting super dumb

Lestat has a a TikTok account where he performs "A Little Bit Alexis" note for note and you cannot convince me otherwise

I used my words tonight when I was once again reminded that I "need to tell everyone what I want to do for Mother's Day" and responded that in fact I want to have a day off from making goddamn decisions don't celebrate me by making me do homework first, tf

I said I WOULD and I fuckin DID not pictured: the fried taco roll we got as a starter

Kicking off my wild and crazy weekend by buying underwear (LB - 10 pairs for 37.50!) because my old ones are finally starting to fall apart honestly they have a lifelong customer in me as long as quality holds up (for this item, anyway, I have mixed feelings about the rest of their stuff)

The minute he texted us about All The Sports happening tomorrow I knew my son was coming home for the weekend

I am sorry to report that we tried the Cheez-it pizza this evening and found it quite tolerable Likely not a repurchase unless the coupons + sale combo is unbeatable but overall, almost zero regrets

managed to screenshot this just in time

I legit thought David Allan Coe died years ago of like COVID or something Maybe because John Prine wrote his best song

this will be my last meal (when I order it later this week)

yeah I don't know what I'd do if I lived in Maine and Susan Collins can go to hell but I still wouldn't vote for the guy with the Nazi tattoo, idk what else there is to say

At $4.15/gallon, this doesn’t hit like it used to.

"Dan Vladar" is the name Darth Vader gives to the cops when they catch him underage drinking

Sixers and Phillies win on the same night??

I wasn't going to do a deep dive into the Russini/Vrabel thing other than the occasional LOL (l like mess) finding out via Reddit that there were SPOTIFY PLAYLISTS is a spectacular new development Bless their cheating lil hearts

Brendan Carr is a bibbidi bobbidi bitch