wishing everyone a very go birds day

LMAO "fine whatever they both suck, go take a break"

my muted word list is extensive and sometimes I miss context but today I've never been so happy that my block list is robust remember the days of locked livejournals? we should go back to those

got into the car with the kid and forgot I'd been listening to the @killbykill.bsky.social episode on Welcome to Derry. Which, I'd stopped in the middle of a discussion of childhood & I listen at a high volume so the very first thing we hear is "YOU HAVE TO LEARN TO POOP AND PEE IN THE TOILET"

We're having work done in the downstairs bathroom and every time the guys go in and out the dogs freak out as if it's brand new guys every time Now Susie is down there supervising, I can't think of a worse foreman

MTG donate to the cause you piece of shit!!

BYE BITCH

Waiting for my grocery pickup to be ready and then my vacation REALLY begins

Update: $25k with some of the most creative choices and heartwarming messages to send to the kids

Very glad to be at work so I can distract myself from worrying about the kid driving home from Altoona! He's making good time but I'll feel better once he's in the door

DO IT, I dare you I double DOG dare you! I always choose a teen in honor of my mom* because those are still her favorites for angel trees and the like *she's still around, she just retired as a foster care worker

hi I have bills here for an employee who died, can you remove this address from your billing? "Sure thing, can you give me a good address for him?" .... Go to your closest telephone pole and call the psychic who nailed their phone number to it, wtf

In a just world Phillip Seymour Hoffman would have lived to be a Moriarty-type character for Daniel Craig in the Knives Out movies.

Forgot to thaw the ground pork today so I went to get my free turkey and got some pork while I was there Because it's DRAGON NOODLE NIGHT

"Sen. John Fetterman, a Pennsylvania Democrat who has made a name for himself working across the aisle..." is some real "officer-involved shooting" tap dancing from the Inqy

Today and every day, we honor the innocent lives lost to anti-trans violence. 🏳️‍⚧️ In New Jersey, we will continue leading the fight for dignity and justice for all members of our LGBTQ+ community. #TransDayofRemembrance

I think it's hilarious that old whatsisnuts and the couchfucker aren't invited to a former VP's funeral

Today's earworm is Dancing Through Life and it's my own damn fault but the problem is those are the only three words I know so I'm just making up shit as I go along DANCING THROUGH LIIIIFE WHERE IS THAT INVOICE WHY DID THAT ONE GO TO SPAM Accounts Payable; The Musical Nobody Asked For

Cape May County: the gift that keeps on giving

we interviewed someone today and forgot to ask THE most important question: "Are you an Eagles fan?" I am only half joking

Happy Discovery of Puerto Rico Day, recognizing the day in 1493 when Columbus discovered a place already occupied by thousands and thousands of people who were all doing just fine

Very gloomy day. I'm glad dinner tonight is a dine and donate thing; the restaurant's pretty mid but it will feel at least a little cozy, I think.

I can no longer fast forward through the ads on ABC shows I have recorded on YTTV Fuck you Bob Iger, you can make me watch ads for your shitty reality TV lineup but I will never watch the shows themselves

Sopa de fideo for dinner tonight! Had some stuff I had to use up and instead of potatoes (I have none potatoes) I just threw in a can of black beans because I have too many of those somehow Idk how everyone else will like it but I'm happy!

this whole political journalist drama reminds me very much of that whole thing where a bunch of married writers* slept with each other's spouses, got divorced, wrote books about it, and then got mad at each other about THAT. *maybe just two couples but they were all insufferable iirc

Waiting patiently for the reporter who decides to torch their entire career but become an instant folk hero by telling off Trump right to his face.

It’s not enough to say everything I know about Olivia Nuzzi has been learned “against my will”; it has effectively been waterboarded into me.

I thought my hater game was strong but BG is just out here reminding me there is always a next level

Lane Johnson out for 4 to 6 weeks I'm fine Everything's fine I'm not being unreasonable or freaking out at all

This is my favorite football team. They are the reigning champion of the NFL, the current one-seed in the NFC, they’ve beaten the Lions, Rams, Bucs, Packers, and Chiefs. Oh also I hate them and they make me want to die.

eagles win babyyyy

I just really want to watch Saquon make like a 98 yard run that's all Don't we all deserve that?

all right I'm getting a shower because my hair takes six years to dry, DON'T FUCK THIS UP WHILE I'M GONE, BOYS

me to my friends and everyone on bluesky: happily liking and making 500 tush push jokes me when the broadcast mentions the tush push even one (1) time:

MAHOMES BOO BOO LIP SPOTTED

lol "Stay Calm Barkley" not me, pal, I'm screaming my way from kickoff till the bitter end

YEAH THAT'S RIGHT

boo they're right but still BOO

I think he's short

spouse and kid went to the game and I was like "great I will just cook something for myself!" except I forgot that I'm spoiled and usually they clean up when I cook so now I have to do my own dishes and I'm mad* about it *see pinned post, you miserable nerds

killed some time waiting for the power to come back by picking up library holds, hitting the new Dollar Tree (it's FANCY), and exploring the new Grocery Outlet, which was about what I expected (not in a bad way). And they had fideo!

Welp the wind just knocked out the power to my neighborhood, that's always fun

UGH fine I'll get up I GUESS good morning, go birds, etc

almost forty years later and I'm still sitting up to watch Labyrinth on Friday night after everyone else goes to bed I should go and see if my mom bought cheese OH WAIT I'm mom and I ALWAYS HAVE CHEESE

god bless, I know you have to suggest something, anything, but I can't make a mirepoix with potatoes

some of this resistance lib shit reads like fetish work I'm starting to think some of them are more interested in that guy's junk than he is no shame in it, buddies, but please don't make the rest of us read it without getting consent first

I had big big plans for work today but then our neighbor dropped in for a chat and after that my dad came in from a meeting and sent me to get lunch so it's been a very nice day with lots of chat and hoagies but like...not much filing and other such organizational things

lmao Vine coming back but under the direction of Jack fucking Dorsey is an absolute classic monkey's paw moment if ever I saw one

Went out to the bar for dinner and had two "black cherry sodas" which are rum and Coke (well, technically, Pepsi) with a dark cherry puree fuck that was good I've been so locked into MargLife that I forgot about rum

spouse cleaned out his bedroom closet and found a box full of my stuff from the move, mainly books so I'm going to try reading Emma again but actually finishing it this time (and I'm not reading the scholarly introduction because CHRIST that guy was annoying oh my god no wonder I tapped out)