Mayonnaise is Satan's condiment.

Israel kidnapped hundreds of people from the Global Sumud Flotilla this morning. They were in Crete 1,000km from Israel. But despite this being international Piracy and Kidnapping and being a gross violation of International Law. Nobody has even mentioned it.

A pretty incredible four paragraphs from The Boston Globe. When you simply list all of the horribly violent things Donald Trump has said just in the past year or so, it really drives home how ridiculous it is to "both sides" about rhetoric. www.bostonglobe.com/2026/04/28/n...

The SPLC has better lawyers than Todd Blanche. Blanche shot off his mouth and claimed that the feds didn't know about the SPLC's informant program, but the SPLC produced receipts to establish that not only did they know, they got convictions out of the intel!

Gotta indict Matt Gaetz now. Sorry, them is the rules.

I wrote up the Comey indictment. www.popehat.com/p/the-comey-...

Appreciate this detail from CBS News reporter Jennifer Jacobs. It's an important part of the story that seems to be missing from a lot of comments & coverage.

Just one more thing. If President [redacted] and his mail order bride had to be evacuated why is the event where shots were fired still considered safe to proceed by the same security that allowed it?

Sharing for no particular reason. The Boy Who Cried Wolf (popularized by Aesop) www.storyarts.org/library/aeso...

Pamela Brown: A $430 million bet was placed moments before the president's latest announcement. Sam Liccardo: Five separate presidential announcements in the last month where we've seen excessive trading within minutes. This is not a mere coincidence. This is racketeering.

fuuuuuuck

Holy shit. The FBI raided this woman's house with a helicopter based on the word of a "gait analysis" quack they found on X.

'Texas A&M philosophy professor Martin Peterson is leaving the university after administrators told him in January that he couldn’t teach Plato’s Symposium in his philosophy class; they said the ancient Greek philosopher’s work violated the system’s restrictions on gender and sexuality content.' 1/3

With the help of the Sandy Hook families, The Onion has reached a long-awaited deal to take over InfoWars. We've enlisted the help of @timheidecker.bsky.social, who will be InfoWars' Creative Director. Please stand by for more.

BREAKING: Labor Secretary Lori Chavez-DeRemer has RESIGNED. Her exit follows a tenure rocked by multiple scandals—including an investigation into an alleged affair with a security staffer and accusations of drinking on the job. Keith Sonderling will serve as Acting Labor Secretary.

NYT INVESTIGATION: As the Trump administration & Congress last year moved to repeal sanctions on Syria, the Qatar-based family that most stood to benefit was privately negotiating a real-estate partnership with Jared Kushner and proposing a Trump golf course in Syria www.nytimes.com/2026/04/19/u...

Many men suffer from little man syndrome, and you have to put them in their place. Remind them they are a chode. 🥰

New euphemism for "pure, unadulterated horseshit" just dropped

"Hundreds of previously redacted records reveal how Amazon has put pressure on independent sellers using its platform into raising their prices on the sites of competitors such as Walmart and Target"

Mamdani: If the NYC apartment you keep solely for bi-yearly affairs with your mistress costs over 5 million dollars, you gotta pay more tax NYPD officer who’s been on disability since 2006 because he stomped too hard on a lady during an arrest and fucked up his ankle: This is a travesty

The American gestapo abducted an 85 year-old widow. Was she one of the worst of the worst? No, her step-son, a retired Alabama state trooper, got ICE to put her in a detention center to deport her because he wanted all of his father's inheritance. Sounds like the son is the worst of the worst.

President Manbaby lashes out at the Pope by harming children.

apnews.com/article/texa... The medical officer for the Texas summer camp where 27 girls were killed in a flood last year testified Tuesday she still has not officially reported the deaths to the state health agency that regulates camps and is reviewing its application to reopen this summer.

Or, he found out he's sitting next to Tiffany?

Oh.

One of my cartoons in Monday's Metro

Current status of the Strait of Hormuz dispute

“We are both clever and stupid in equal measure; capable of understanding the geometry of the universe and yet apparently incapable of managing our own small planet.” — Brian Cox

Melania Trump Slams Baseless Reports Linking Her To Wrong Wealthy Pedophile https://theonion.com/melania-trump-slams-baseless-reports-linking-her-to-wrong-wealthy-pedophile/

In his first 100 days, Zohran Mamdani has: -Delivered millions in restitution for workers cheated by gig companies -Cracked down on predatory landlords -Launched the first stage of a universal childcare program -Fixed thousands of potholes in NYC streets This is what leadership looks like.

Aide: sir you were supposed to choose ONE of the talking points

If leaders abuse the rule of law to make themselves immune to it, so that they can undermine the rights of others with impunity, by what moral or philosophical argument are they entitled to its protections, once they lose power? By what grace should they be sorted by law instead of by other means?

Swollen RFK Jr. Warns Americans Not Eating Enough Bees https://theonion.com/swollen-rfk-jr-warns-americans-not-eating-enough-bees/

“My email reply to X cannot be categorized as anything more than casual correspondence” is Melania-level crisis management — that is to say, narcissistic and incompetent.

Started/going, Sohrab Ahmari edition

shot, chaser

Happy Shoulda Finished The Job Day

Israel out there bombing the shit out of Lebanese civilians like there are Palestinian toddlers hiding there

RIP. I will never forget the police brutalizing him — and then that one cop stopping the other cop from helping him

UPDATE: Letters from Leo can now independently confirm that the meeting took place — and that the Vatican was so alarmed by the Pentagon’s tactics that Leo shelved plans to visit America. Some officials saw their reference to an Avignon papacy as a threat to use military force against the Holy See.

During the anti-ICE school walkouts in January, a group of students in Chandler were targeted by an armed agitator. Turns out it was Phoenix PD Sergeant Dusten Mullen. He admitted his plan was to try to get purposely assaulted so the teenager protesters would all get arrested (it didn’t work).

NEW — Iran had already presented a 10-point plan. Then Trump wakes up today and threatens to blow up Iran's "whole civilization" if they don't bend. And then, just an hour before his deadline, he announces a ceasefire, citing Iran's "workable" 10-point plan.