the only landlord I support

I screwed up this thread a while back so I’m going to restart it here 📚📖📓📕📗📘📙

I’m a mediocre middle-aged white guy. I wonder which higher office I should run for despite my gross lack of experience.

lotta talarico signs in my neighborhood but this is my favorite

in retrospect it’s pretty funny ron desantis thought he’d be elected president

I went on a date in college and we spent literally hours walking around trying to find where we parked my car. eventually we gave up and went to a restaurant for tiramisu.

spouse: what’s with all the Ks? me: it’s short for strike outs spouse: … me: don’t worry, it’s not just the longhorns, it’s universal across baseball and softball spouse: oh okay

naming a pitcher cord rager in the taylor sheridan writers room for a show about the rough and tumble world of sec baseball would get you promoted I think

when yordan grand salamis:

when I lived in austin I used to go to paramount’s summer movie classics alllllllll the time. nothing like a bogie or cary grant double-bill in a gorgeous classic theater

hoppers is delightful

Yourself but as a cartoon

yourself but as a cartoon

‘tout yonder, t’Bethlehem to be birthed up

Falcon, this is Falconer, come in, Falcon Falcon, do you read do you read me, Falcon, this is Falconer

the gyre, she’s a-widening

BACK TO BACK NATTIES!! HOOK EM HOOK EM HOOK !!! 🤘🤘🤘

This admin would make a good History of the World sequel

I deserve a milkshake

good morning to josh hader fans and josh hader fans only, there are cathedrals everywhere for those with eyes to see

well, perfect time to drive home

our law clerk is coming into the office to do his bar prep because it’s all online now and he was tired of sitting in his apartment and it’s giving me flashbacks. ⚖️ #lawsky 1/

I’ll be celebrating my america at the outlaw music festival on july 5. it’s gonna rule. 🇺🇸🎸🎇

layla piano coda plays over montage of melania pitching melania 2 to bezos on a yacht, rfk drinking a possum and snake protein shake, marco claiming he was brainwashed on the view, and jd closing the door behind him in the oval office slowly and walking up to the couch

doubleheader Ws! back to the #wcws! #hookem!

astros ⚾️ at 1:10 longhorn 🥎 wcws at 2:00 longhorn ⚾️ at 5:00 all baseball all day, baby!

When the waiter tells you "Are you sure, it is very spicy":

hey now, that's MY lynchian swamp city that should not exist and is repeatedly reminded by God each hurricane season that it is an Afront to his Plan

look, things were definitely not better when I was a kid in most societal respects except in one narrow way: you could watch your area baseball ⚾️ team on local tv and they took that away from the very people supporting the thing

ladies and gentlemen, may the stench of your jubilance be offensive

this album is gonna smash

back in my bachelor days: one can of black beans shredded cheese hell on the red salsa

everything is content, your honor.

first thought, best thought: matty gaga

afternoon post it doodle

give ‘em the ol’ razzle dazzle

we started watching the studio and it’s wonderful (the second episode with the one inside the one is genius) but seeing catherine o'hara cooking is so incredibly sad

this is so messed up. at least the vile ham would only be a senator unlike governor palpatine

texas is the head lemming in this messed up country

I knew it was too much to ask for 5

okay texas we gotta have a massive #gotv this november

it was my great pleasure to vote for @adams-hurta.bsky.social again!

if you showed this headline to someone 20 years ago, they would have figured it was part of a viral marketing spoof for idiocracy, which was released in september 2006

you just know that some kids out there are going to try meditating after seeing grogu do it and I am legitimately curious how that went 🙏🕉️⚾️

Booth view of the final out of tonight’s no-hitter. Thanks to Steve Sparks for the video.

#Santa slayed tonight