Me: I consider myself a safecracker. Them: Oh wow, how many have you broken into? Me, confused: No, no… I mean I’m white and comfortable to be around.

A very Happy Holiday Seasons to you and yours ❤️ 🪡 🍪

Pew pew FTE!

🎵 white people taco night 🎶

It's that giving time of year again, so this is a reminder that no matter how they try to dress it up, the Salvation Army is not a charity.

Well, I’m in the top 2% of Appalachian Anarchy listeners this year. Do recommend.

New burger joint incoming!

The greatest invention of humankind is the soft close toilet seat lid.

A daily avocado toast would have ruined her

Tree’s up.

Cozy game season. Slime Rancher 2 🥰

It’s happening @metalupis.bsky.social

I made a birb friend!

introduce yourself with 5 concerts you've been to: Iron Maiden (2) Randy Newman James Taylor They Might Be Giants KMFDM …Carolyn does not really do concerts

If you’re going to drink excessively to deal with your surroundings today, remember to hydrate and that I love you.

Happy Thanksgiving.

My third brake light crapped out. There are no knockoff options for my vehicle year. Three. Hundred. Fucking. Dollars. Gross.

This is in the restaurant we’re trying today 👑

I would like world peace and a steam iron that doesn't f@(&ing LEAK!

Found @hobbesq.bolasgang.com in the wild.

Gaaaaaaaay

I have questions.

I stand for the flag AND the cross. 🫡

👀

This is a selfie checkpoint. You must repost with a cute selfie to proceed.

Wild how I drew this 4 years ago as satire and now it’s the average tweet from a sitting president

Hey bartender, I'll have an America, neat (no ICE)

Secret Lair x Deez Nuts

Remember: don't eat the mid tier fast food chicken, don't play the wizard game, don't shop at the hobby store run by the bad guys from Indiana Jones, and don't donate to the bigot bucket.

Kitty sending positivity 🩵🤍🩷 #art #cuteart #transawarenessmonth #caturday

Now that I know this I just let my friend @thatguyjames.bsky.social know!

I am at an impasse in my life. I need to either lose some weight to fit into all the jeans I currently own. Or I need to shop for new jeans. I 100% hate both of these options.

By @gingeryartistry.bsky.social #union

Ever want a rug that looks like moldy cheese?

Tonight’s dumb napkin cartoon…

Look at this little dish I got at Oddmall!

Day two at @oddmallpnw.bsky.social repping BloödCheëp, Frightful Molt-Demon of the Cursed Abyss by @rosemarymosco.com ❤️ Evergreen Fairgounds in Monroe WA! 10-5 today! Come buy weird stuff! @thatguyjames.bsky.social is here too! ❤️

Wow, they decorated the Lincoln bathroom like our hotel! Classy!

6-7!

The GOP is nothing but a wretched hive of scum and villainy.

Another one you need @scratchkitty.bsky.social

Come to Oddmall and buy these adorable owlbear stickers! Evergreen Fairgrounds in Monroe WA!

Oddmall starts in an hour! ❤️❤️

I've heard a lot of wild Secret Lair shipping stories over the years... but this one shared by my friend Eric in our local magic fb group takes the cake. Unrelatedly: Secret Lair Lionel Richie when?

Seattle area friends (and frenemies!) @thatguyjames.bsky.social and I will be at @oddmallpnw.bsky.social this weekend for Creepsmas! Do your holiday shopping for that one person who has everything! Get your picture taken with Krampus! Evergreen State Fairgounds in Monroe! Starts at 10am! ❤️❤️

Hey! Calling all Wonder Women! We all are sisters…pulling together with one spirit. 50 years ago today the first episode of the series Wonder Woman aired.

Can’t smile at me if I’m not there.

Seattle area friends (and frenemies!) @thatguyjames.bsky.social and I will be at @oddmallpnw.bsky.social this weekend for Creepsmas! Do your holiday shopping for that one person who has everything! Get your picture taken with Krampus! Evergreen State Fairgounds in Monroe! Starts at 10am! ❤️❤️