What gif pops up when you type in your name? It's also today's mood.

Look, at this point if you post a picture of the orange menace I immediately block you. Nobody wants to see that shit.

They don't want you to know, but you can just put a fried egg on a red lobster biscuit. Nobody can stop you.

He talks about you in his sleep And it's a solemn vow I keep To polish up my blade and make it keen, Jolene

Your beauty is beyond compare With flaming locks of auburn hair With ivory skin and eyes of emerald green But all that beauty's nothing real Compared to sharpened, polished steel And you cannot compete with this, Jolene

N'matter how many episodes I watch not one of these cowards has once had the ovaries to raise a hand to Bobby Flay. I'm starting to feel misled.

Did you know that in some movie theaters you can rent a private theater for up to 20 people for $150 and they will play your choice of movie that they are currently airing? Also, last time I went a child kicked my seat the entire time, and its mother told me if I didn't like it I should move?

I saw this and it's the only thing I could think of

Did you know that if you pass gas inside of a pyramid, it also releases gas. That way you always have a Tutankhamun.

Mood

Make others feel the way they make you feel. I call it brute force empathy.

Inside you there are two wolves. Unfortunately the HOA only allows you one wolf so you will be fined continuously until you comply.

Don't mistake my weakness for kindness.

@stanmonitor.bsky.social Ideally I'd like to be removed from your list as I am not any of the things on the tin. 🤞

Tfw you’ve been told repeatedly not to press the big red button

When I die, write down all the funny things I said, bind it into a book made from my skull. Call it "It was funnier in my head"

@shadowbanner.bsky.social What's a divorcelli and why do you have me on a list of "orbiters"?

@annie-twelve.bsky.social was an incredible listener! And- of course she was! She’s an Arts Librarian formerly from London now living in NYC and available for work! She’s amazingly pleasant and a former union organizer!

How do you do, you all?

Introduce yourself with your worst feedback from school I was given a hall pass that literally just said "someplace else".

Sonic, his rings strewn wide.

This place is not a place of honor... no highly esteemed deed is commemorated here... nothing valued is here. What is here was dangerous and repulsive to us. This message is a warning about danger. The danger is in a particular location... it increases towards a center...

Just so we are all clear going forward, there are exactly 3 kinds of people, no more and no less. There are Nazis, the people who the Nazis are objectively going to harm, and people who will wish they had done more to stop the Nazis.

Advertise your Bluesky account with just three words. Weird angry goo

Today there is not a man nor woman in here that shall stand alone. Not today. Today we face the monsters that are at our door and bring the fight to them! Today, we are *canceling* the apocalypse!

How I’m watching this election.

if u support racist fascist bigots u are in fact garbage

some of the best shitposters on bsky

Big butts just run in my family. We have apple bottom genes.

The character before rewrite was more of an art kid. youtu.be/Zej9h-zMg-0?...

Little odd that they rewrote Connor to make him more obviously ND. I don't think I care for it. Seems he is exclusively there to be laughed at. Georgie and Mandy's first marriage, spin off of young Sheldon.

Note to self: stop listing "Reflexes of an astonished toddler" as a special skill.

Who’s going to be the next mayor of NYC? Wrong answers only.

Put your hand down if you don't work at a store but people in stores seem to think you do, and when they ask for help you just help them because it's easier than explaining that you don't work there.

Look, they can't all be low numbers. Bluesky now has over 10 million users, and I was #1,138,466!

My favorite Star Trek character checks out the "Discover" feed on Bluesky for the first time:

If you see this art, post your favorite Pokémon.

Drop an alien that's not from Star Wars or Star Trek.

Tried using #gemini on my pixel 9 pro. It's the most infuriating experience. Zero out of 10. I asked it to create a shop list, add milk. It added other things I didn't ask for, refused to remove them, and now says it never had the ability to create or edit lists in the first place

brb studying up on the Bell Riots