I don't do drugs anymore... than, say, the average touring funk band.

"The Beatles were so high they let Ringo sing a couple of tunes. 'WEEE ALL LIVE IN A YELLA SUBMAREEEN, A YELLA SUBMAREEN..' We..we..we WHAT? We all live in a WHAT? Do you know how fuckin HIGH they were? They had to pull Ringo off the ceiling with a rake to sing that song..." --Bill Hicks

As long as one person lives in darkness then it seems to be a responsibility to tell other people.

Just a simple choice, right now, between fear and love. The eyes of fear want you to put bigger locks on your doors, buy guns, close yourself off. The eyes of love instead see all of us as one.

I am a misanthropic humanist... Do I like people? They're great, IN THEORY.

"Iraq has incredible weapons of mass destruction. Well how do you know? We uh, looked at the reciepts" - Bill Hicks.

Why do we put people who are on drugs in jail? They're sick, they're not criminals. Sick people don't get healed in prison. You see? It makes no sense.

And on the seventh day, god stepped back and said and said, "This is my creation, perfect in every way... oh, dammit I left all this pot all over the place. Now they'll think I want them to smoke it... Now I have to create Republicans."

“I don’t mean to sound bitter, cold, or cruel, but I am, so that’s how it comes out.” ~Bill Hicks #quote #billhicks

Suddenly, I'm reminded of the old Bill Hicks line: "if he thought he could fly why didn't he take off from the ground first?"

Yeah, good to be here. I haven't been here in two years...[no applause]...thanks. It's that warmth I've missed in Austin. So, we been here, ain't our fault you gotta travel around, shit. We supposed to follow you around? You supposed to be back here. What are you doin', where are you?

#billhicks #comedy

Do you think magic mushrooms growing atop cow shit was an accident? Where do you think the phrase, ‘that’s good shit’ came from? Why do you think Hindus think cows are holy? Holy shit!

Bill Hicks in PREACHER issue #31

Oh sorry, I was taking life seriously.

I can speak for every guy here in this room tonight. Guys, if you could blow yourselves, ladies, you'd be in this room alone right now... watching an empty stage. Boy, my folks are proud of me. "Bill, honey, you still doing that suck-your-own-cock bit?"

We miss you Bill Hicks! ❤️

Like any good Xennial with aspirations of comedy, I watched/listened to a lot of Bill Hicks. This bit looms large, especially when you think about the fact he died in 1994. In 1994, selling out was less of a choice than it maybe HAD been, but it was still a choice. www.youtube.com/watch?v=Tp4l...

You watch the news these days? It's unbelievable. You think you just walk out your door, you're immediately gonna be raped by some crack-addicted, AIDS-infected pitbull.

Bill Hicks was right.

I’m caught between wishing Bill Hicks was here and being thankful for his sake that he’s not.

"Love All The People" —Bill Hicks Bodhisattva #Love #Peace #Fnord #UnconditionalLove #BillHicks 💖✨ 🫴

#Billhicks #comedy #philosphy

I ascribe to Mark Twain's theory that the last person who should be President is the one who wants it the most. The one who should be picked is the one who should be dragged kicking and screaming into the White House.

Let me tell you about gays in the military. I don't want any gay people hanging around me while I'm killing kids. I just don't want to see it.

Did you ever have one of those days when you really needed a dose of Bill Hicks to feel normal ??? here I am... you're welcome... I start it at my fav bit, feel free to watch whatever part you like youtu.be/SgEFsGkmiWs?...

I can speak for every guy in this room here tonight. Guys, if you could blow yourselves, ladies, you'd be in this room alone right now. Watching an empty stage.

It has become more and more obvious that there is one political party in America, and that is The Business Party.

youtu.be/TNPeYflsMdg?... #BillHicks #comedy

Bill Hicks was something else-- I had no idea who he was until after he died. The waitress part is brutal but 1 minute of Bill explaining why books are Kryptonite to some people really nails it. Goddamn, he was funny. youtu.be/ed_86qgvSp8

Go back to bed, America. Your government has figured out how it all transpired. Go back to bed, America. Your government is in control again. Here. Here's American Gladiators. Watch this, shut up.

#billhicks #comedy #philosophy

They tell us "Rock'n'roll is the devil's music." Well, let's say we know that rock is the devil's music, and we know that it is, for sure … At least he fucking jams! If it's a choice between eternal Hell and good tunes, and eternal Heaven and New Kids on the fucking Block.

Mushrooms grow on cow turds. I love that. I think that’s why you giggle the first hour.

...its not a war on drugs its a war on personal freedom - Bill Hicks, another dead hero

Funny you bring up Bill Hicks - I just read this old joke this morning: boss: why aren't you working? worker: we done, there's nothing left to do boss: you're supposed to work, can't you at least pretend to work worker: i have an idea: how about you pretend I work. You're paid more than I am.

You see, I think drugs have done some good things for us. I really do. And if you don't believe drugs have done good things for us, do me a favor. Go home tonight. Take all your albums, all your tapes and all your CDs and burn them.

#billhicks #comedy

The American dream is a crock. Stop wanting everything. Everyone should wear jeans and have three T-shirts, eat rice and beans.

#billhicks #billhicksquotes #quotes #comedy

Bill Hicks once said this about gay men in the military in 1992 or 1993: “Anyone… DUMB ENOUGH… to wanna be in the military… should be allowed in. End of fucking story. I’ve watched these congressional hearings and I’m like EXCUSE ME, AREN’T Y’ALL FUCKING HIRED KILLERS?! SHUT UP!!”

1992: Bill Hicks makes his UK daytime TV debut | BBC Archive

It's an insane world, and I'm proud to be a part of it.

"That's starting to depress me about UFOs. The fact that they cross galaxies...and always end up in places like Fyfe, Alabama.", Bill Hicks.

I loved when Bush came out and said, 'We are losing the war against drugs.' You know what that implies? There's a war being fought, and the people on drugs are winning it.

How much do you smoke, sir? Two packs a day, is that right? Pussy. I go through two lighters a day. That's right, two lighters! You're a health nut compared to me. You're like the Jack LaLanne of smokers compared to me.

#billhicks #quotes #comedy #philosophy

Here is my final point...About drugs, about alcohol, about pornography...What business is it of yours what I do, read, buy, see, or take into my body as long as I do not harm another human being on this planet?