Check the state of the White House while you're at it. It says: "the oval office" in gold letters, like trump has so much dementia he wouldn't find it without putting a sign up. Now I wonder about the other rooms. You put signs on the bathrooms, usually, but does his bedroom say: The Bedroom?

Grandma had to sell her body to truck drivers at highway rest stops to pay for her husband's medication. When he heard about it, trump said: "We have to help her! Let's cut the lights at the highway rest stops, so she gets more privacy".

Telling the White House sees: "granma has to do doordash deliveries to pay for her husband's cancer treatment, let's help her by cutting tax on her tips" as a winning argument. This grandma hasn't yet realized that trump just increased the price of gas so much, she's being taxed for driving anyway!

GANDHI IS WEAK ON BEEF BOURGUIGNON

Find someone who look at you like this

Hey, Democracy, stop trying to find a way to FIT-OUT and just FIT-IN. Be apart of something special! Just my thoughts

During the '28 campaign, JD Vance will pull his "I was against the Iran war" trick but with "I never supported Donald trump" and the NY Times will believe him.

"At some point if the ship doesn’t turn around, maybe it will start taking on water or listing badly or hit an iceberg, or perhaps the iceberg has been there all along and is named Donald Trump."

This needs to be considered "after trump" as well

If yr birthday is midJune and you're 79, you round this to 80. You lived 79.85 years, so that's 80. But as we cover the decline of trump's senility in the run up to war, he's still 79. We're hostage to some rule of civility that stops us from saying he's an octogenarian, even though he is. Weird

The "Iran is blocking the Strait, so to open it, we'll block it ourselves" seems...hum... counterintuitive, until you realize: what is trump's main driver? Narcissism and greed. And he's created a slush fund with Venezuela oil money. And blocking the Strait doubles that value. Possible? Definitely

High school drama: My girlfriend dumped me and won't return my calls. I threatened to obliterate her, but then everybody got mad at me. My friend JD talked to her friend for 5mn in the cafeteria. She still won't talk to me, so today I decided to block her number on my phone. That will teach her.

The good news about trump's dementia is that he won't remember that his wife just stabbed him in the back.

At least we know she didn't plagiarize that one from Michelle.

Screenplay for The Hangover 4 - after a drunk night when they laid mines in the strait, Doug, Alan and Stu have to find the one they inadvertently left Phil attached to.

If you believe that corruption is a problem, then corruption is grounds for impeachment: "The President, Vice President and all civil Officers of the United States, shall be removed from Office on Impeachment for, and Conviction of, Treason, BRIBERY, or other high Crimes and Misdemeanors."

How much money has the DoD lost this year on missiles

There was no reason to think that a historically unpopular president in the US, who is even more unpopular in Europe where there's no MAGA infrastructure to defend him, would help buoy Orban. It's like Jeffrey Dahmer writing a yelp review for your restaurant, it's not gonna help you.

I'm shocked .... .... that Bari's network aired this.

Tastier than TACO

(watching a movie where a character announces that he will destroy a city if they don't meet his specific demands by a certain deadline) oh that's probably the good guy in this movie

Yeah, well it's not so great down here either, ABC News.

That, or you could have kept Obama's nuclear deal with Iran.

I'm willing to bet trump/Vance are even less popular in Europe, and Hungary in particular, than they are here. "Oh, the guy who wants to annex Greenland, kill his own protesters and bomb Iran for no good reason? Yeah, I'll listen to him".

Jokic will average a triple double for the season. It's the second season he's averaging a triple double (Westbrook did it 4x and the Big O once). He also leads the league in assists and boards - which has never been done ever. And yet the money is on SGA getting the MVP.

This shows the silliness of the awards in the NBA. Cooper Flagg had 2 (granted, VERY) good games in a row and flips the odds for the whole Rookie-of-the-YEAR award. Kon Knueppel leads the league all year in made 3s. But a couple good games flip the odds. It's silly. www.espn.com/nba/story/_/...

Mmm, they will have to add another pin to their outfit for the WHCD. Or mismatched socks in addition to the mismatched cufflinks.

There's a horrible joke about this. In the forest, a couple runs into a man with a gun. The man draws a circle in the dirt with his shoe and tells the husband: you, you stay within that circle. If you get out, I'll shoot you. Then he tells the wife to follow him behind a tree...

All of this is happening because Republicans in Congress, on the Supreme Court, and in the administration have enabled Trump through thousands of prior crimes including a coup, and because they continue to enable him now.

Tapper says the language is inappropriate for kids, it could be war crime (or not if the bridges are used by the army) but does NOT question trump's fitness for office - despite this unhinged, deranged threat. He wrote a book about Biden's acuity, despite everything running smooth back then.

The good bubbly is already in the fridge

1.5M people visit Alcatraz each year, generating $60M in revenue for NPS - so NPS would lose this in addition to the 25% cut (a $736 million reduction) in the proposed budget. The only way you can convince me to reopen Alcatraz as a prison is if it's for trump, his kids and his administration.

Alternative theory: when the NYT says "experts are dubious" it really means "holy shit are these people batshit insane or WTF!!!????!!!" Remember this when they write: "trump says he doesn't need Congress to authorize the war in Iran. Constitutional experts say it's not that simple."

It takes a genius to *double* the price of a medication that you allegedly want to lower. Since many drugs have little competition for their usage, they don't care if you increase the price for them, docs still have to prescribe them. A real genius.

Todd Blanche, trump's actual personal attorney, is now acting AG of the US after Pam Bondi's firing. It can't be more explicit that the role of AG has been corrupted to serve for and protexct trump. www.theguardian.com/us-news/live...

Will they bring a bed? He was sleeping at his own trial, has no dog in this fight and has deteriorated since his trial. It's not whether he naps, it's how long.

The crypto scam has more appeal than the Tesla scam. Finally time to short TSLA? electrek.co/2026/03/30/t...

Wait, we're back to being woke? trump 2 is over? Kidding aside, I'm sure Ivey will land nicely in the Repub grift circuit, being "cancelled" and having his "1A rights trampled". (all bad faith arguments since 1A doesn't apply to an NBA franchise)

Duke deserved it.

A remarkable photo from #NoKings in DTLA from Connor Sheets of @latimes.com www.latimes.com/california/l...

Maybe my favorite sign of the day for its sheer simplicity

They put trump on the phone with the intern in the office supply room

A challenge for parents: is the birthday party a primal scream that turns into a whimper, or will parents still pack lunchboxes? And can they do both? Jeremy Peters doubts it.

Kash Patel created his XVIDEOS attack on January 6th I almost had a heart attack I thought it said 2021

Didn't he learn from Iran that those you attack could retaliate, and if so, could they do it when Bezos and Zuckerberg are in their Miami "billionaires Bunker" Island?

Would be a shame if anyone with a sharpie added a four letter words before the signature, wouldn't it. www.nytimes.com/2026/03/26/u...

When you pull off your kid's bandaid, you say I'll count to 3, one, two and you pull. Not saying there's a plan or a strategy there, but if I were CNN, I would caveat the "10 days" promise with: but you can't trust a word he says. www.cnn.com/2026/03/26/w...

If only Adam Neumann had named his company WeWorkX, that IPO would have gone swimmingly

Sounds like he'd love to do sweaty pushups with RFK if he could do a push up

I’m at ICE HQ