I’m watching Pirates of the Caribbean and it’s a small miracle this movie is good. Even in 2003, I remember EW being like “wow, how creatively bankrupt of Disney” and like, yes, but this is the best case scenario.

I hope you’re all bringing the same deranged vibe to your back yard - be they literal or spiritual - as I am tonight (margaritas, In The Woods reread, new Madonna album)

I was on a call that ended like 90 seconds after that goal

Now THIS is a set of titles. Everyone pick your favorite.

oh, man, this is great. finally a Senate candidate without a bunch of skeletons in his closet. hear he did really well with the big storm a couple years back

Hi! This is a hate crime. (Old Bay???!!!?)

I love Kate O’Flynn, but I need Dale Dickey to win her Emmy category so we can have back to back supporting winners who are also University of Tennessee alums (this is my only flavor of school pride)

Hydration break

Why is Hugo Lloris here?

Hate that my (probably) last moments with Trossard as an Arsenal player will involve rooting against him 😭🦝

Okay I need England to lose tonight because my heart can’t take another round of pitting the Arsenal boys against each other!!

This is like Rice vs Alabama stats here.

Big Gabi and Ødegaard fighting is like watching my parents fight.

Birthright citizenship and corruption have come together, this is so American, it’s beautiful

Finally it happened in real life

paraguay made sure it wasn't pretty, but an mbappé penalty was enough to make the final score 1-0

This 4th of July pre show is VERY 1994 (complimentary).

The latter is what charms me about soccer! The former is fascism I think! bsky.app/profile/rodg...

Also, the book is the new Tana French, which is the exact same book as the last two Tana French books and I’m so annoyed with it but also I do want to know the whodunnit, so I’m committed to finishing it this morning. Doing so might require a pre-noon margarita.

This is the ideal time to go to the pool (it is already 80 degrees)

A source informs us that the tactical plan for this counteroffensive is to metaphorically “kick the tires and light the fires.”

This is bullshit

Ugh

Getting the boys together for this Austria-Spain matchup

Clarence Thomas is running VAR

The frantic rush to ban trans women from playing sports has never been motivated by a genuine interest in women’s sports or improving anybody’s lives. The fact that it’s clearly going to hurt cis women in addition to trans women is an added bonus for the people who have pushed for it

Today: CONMEBOL 2 Axis powers 0

My two favorite Germans missed 😭

The woman working at the bagel shop just hyped up my order so much I feel like an undiscovered culinary genius

Naturalizing Own Goal before the World Cup was a real stroke of genius by US Soccer.

can we go straight to el chiringuito

no big deal, Vozinha's World Cup debut had him facing 27 shots, 7 shots on target and getting a draw against former World Cup Champion Spain

brazil are a huge mess except for some guys who can do cool shit in the final third, but damn can they do cool shit in the final third

I wrote about the World Cup

Me again this week.

@sickosfc.bsky.social report from Atlanta: I think World Cup inflation has also hit the custom cake market because why is this $350

Saw a fight about Mbappé in the comments of a Letterboxed review of The Bus, World Cup Fever has officially begun.

Hope my neighbors appreciated me screaming “BETTY GILPIN??” at my tv one minute into this Widow’s Bay episode.

Love the lads ❤️

these psg players get so much rest during the season. it's a huge structural advantage compared to basically every other big club.

Text from my Man U nephew a minute after Havertz scored:

I LOVE THAT MAN

Every piece of news on the USMNT I see.

WE MIGHT DO IT. WE’LL ALL BE DEAD BY THE PARADE, BUT WE MIGHT DO IT.

ENEMYSHIP WITH VAR ENDED. FRIENDSHIP WITH VAR STARTED.

Thank you for calling. Please listen closely, as our menu options have changed. If the old world is dying, please, press 1. For new world is struggling to be born, press 2. If now is the time of- Ok. You selected "Monsters." If it is the time of monsters please have your reservation code ready.