Wanna know where the loudest spot on stage is during the Sounds of Santana show? It's right where my bass guitar is tonight.

If teaching was just about access to information we already wouldn't need teachers because we've had the printing press for generations. These people have no idea what education is.

the Red Hot Chili Peppers are just one of those memes that's like "you have 15 dollars to make the perfect band" and then spent 14 of the 15 dollars on bass/guitar/drums and only had one dollar left

A computer can never pack a bowl therefore a computer must never make a playlist

Longest w/o stopping for sleep, alternating drivers? Utica to Minneapolis, 18 hrs Longest solo with a car nap? San Francisco to Milwaukee via Fargo (had to pick someone up), 37 hours

“I was saying in the locker room after the game, that’s probably the loudest it’s been, I think, the whole time I have ever been here,” senior Amaya Battle said. “It was a ton of fun. It was nice to have them rally around us.” It’s a tragedy that the Blanket Lady missed out on Title IX

look at this baby beaver and feel better briefly (@ wildheartrescue on TT)

Really wish that the face eating leopards weren't just a metaphor in this case

the downsides of bluesky are pretty much: —its userbase is small compared to a lot of other sites —it has the usual social media dynamics which means that a lot of people are awful to each other and moderation is...erratic.

Upper Midwest parenting pro tip: keep that snow brush in your car, it's excellent for sweeping crushed Cheerios and goldfish out of the back seat

Chuck Norris wasn't welcomed by the sweet embrace of death, the sweet embrace of death was welcomed by Chuck Norris.

US Department of Punching Its Own Dick furiously seeks to stop punching itself in the dick, citing confusion and pain in the genital area

Feels like the time is ripe for a reboot of Robin Hood. Tyrant on the throne, our taxes funding crusades in the Middle East, sherrifs abusing power, time to take from the rich and give to the poor. Merry band of outlaws time.

It's the teenager's first varsity badminton game, and she just crushed it. I think. I don't really know the rules.

the first step to a good solid writing practice is establishing some kind of accountability system. the second step is establishing a backup accountability system for when you inevitably figure out how to evade the first one. the third step? you guessed it: jerking off

The teen has decided she's a coffee drinker. This presents major issues with the supply chain, as the resources of our one pot have already been fully earmarked and allocated to the adult addicts in the house. Considering drone strikes to deescalate the situation.

The only deescalation strategy this administration knows is punching itself in the dick repeatedly until the pile of money they lit on fire is gone

Residents: please help with rent Frey: heard you loud and clear, more money for cops on the way

Another day replacing inspiration with caffeine.

“Apparently I’m an idiot.” Woman at Pennsylvania gas station who voted for Trump rips into him, calls him “a worthless pile of sh*t”.

to all who celebrate this annual tradition

The wind made some perfect topographical maps at the dog park

Official Upper Midwest Regional Sweatpants State of Emergency has been declared. No denim or other coarse fabrics allowed, changes of pants are limited to other sweatpants or loose fitting comfy garments. Exceptions limited to snow pants and jorts.

It’s hard to blame woke DEI when the military is losing a war because of the straits.

I do this too. And then I put it in a tortilla with beans and salsa and guacamole. It's pretty good.

Underrated part of MN is getting cold cold water right out of the tap

Fun times chaperoning at the 1st graders at the MN history museum today, watching the kids bounce off all the historical trauma. Those old timey school desks from the Indian Boarding School sure are fun to fold up and down!

I have ten coats in my front closet for all seasons and weather conditions. I have used most of them today.

Any man who tells you he's never missed the toilet is lying.

These genius warfighters clearly learned from history that bombing countries into submission always works. I'm sure that after we hit a few more elementary schools we'll get a pro US regime.

Transphobia is a cancer of the heart and mind. It is a useless fear, based on ignorance and cruelty. Trans people are not responsible for a single one of the problems we face. Do the world a favor and grow the fuck up.

Iran calls the United States the Great Satan, but would the Great Satan turn the day into night, create rivers of fire and poison the rain?

Moody day at Powderhorn park

I think they might have better luck spending two thousand dollars holding a press conference where they detail who made the key decisions to collaborate with the Trump administration, how and when they were fired, and explaining what would stop that from happening again.

Dept of Homeland Security For South Dakota Dogs (DHSSDD) officially upgrades threat level from Growl to Bark

I profiled Jason Chavez, the Minneapolis city council member who has been embedded in community efforts to combat ICE. “To leave your constituents to face off with a racist fascist regime on their own, without having someone that has some power…I could not let my constituents be out there alone.”

Thirty years ago seeing a bald eagle was a rare thing, you'd be lucky to see one in the remote places of northern WI/MN. Today I saw two flying in tandem above downtown St Paul. People did that. We banned DDT, made a change for the better, the eagles came back. Better things are possible.

Internet made everything a la carte. Listen to Bad Bunny and Beethoven. Believe in Medicare for all and survival of the fittest. Abolish ICE and avoid the taqueria part of town not because brown people but because you're avoiding the lizard people. Go wild.

yeah the damage a single bad billionaire can do wildly outstrips any positive impact even a theoretically ideal billionaire can have more, I think that the kind of person you need to be to become a billionaire tends to select for the worst outcomes in all but the rarest of cases

TFW your ex thinks their new haircut will make up for cheating on you

literally your customer base was 90% parents of young children who want a good future for their kids in which they can be free to be themselves, no matter who they are. you told those people to go fuck themselves. they won't be back

Classic rock music fest alert

Helicopters circling the neighborhood again. Cool, wasn't planning to focus on anything today at all anyway.

Inert Democrats is my new favorite way to describe them

I bet all these Gotcha screenshots of the shameless lying liars is really gonna shame them into admitting they lied. Go get 'em