Caramelized leek and Gruyère scone anyone?

If you fart while wiping that’s called a dreamcatcher

One day you’re young, and carefree and the next you’re bragging about your regular bowel movement

😹

It’s kind of a Mach piece.

Sometimes it strikes me that the declining state of the world can, in a very meaningful way and on several levels, be traced directly to reality tv.

Hey MAGA, you can stop clutching your pearls about Graham Platner now. We all know you don’t care. You are only pretending to care because he is a Democrat.

Mr. Clean in a janitor’s closet filthy sex with chubby girl oops this isn’t pornhub

Give a man a fish he eats for a day Teach a man to fish he eats for a lifetime Shove a fish up a man’s ass and he won’t eat fish or talk to you ever again

I was at work for nine hours today! I'm a baker and I probably made over a thousand delicious bagels today

I would never just consume a full cup of straight sour cream, but if you put onion soup powder in it and give me some chips that’s another story

I talk about being a diabetic a lot, to the point where I feel like I annoy the people around me with it. But it’s something I have to consider with every bite of food I take. There is a keto bakery that opened in Vegas that does diabetic friendly treats. My first root beer float in over 10 years.

I love how AMC trailers are now 1. Trailers 2. Ad for Amazon 3. More trailers 4. AMC ad telling you you’re at a movie 5. AMC ad reminding you that you’re at a movie 6. 5-sec cut of Nicole Kidman reminding you you’re at the movies 7. TURN OFF YOUR PHONE 8. Did you know you’re at the movies

Boulevard of broken creamsicles

Scum... This swamp needs to be drained...

I would body anyone out to get at that. It looks wunnerful

Whew! Thank goodness I don't have to root for the Knicks

When somebody starts shit in your mentions and you can tell they're someone's grandma but it's 2026 and you gotta defend yourself

I’ve almost got my splits back!! (I gotta square up those hips more and fix my back leg splaying out, but I’m getting there!)

Apparently the new 007 First Light game came out and chuds are mad that M is a woman -_- I guess they missed when M was a woman From Goldeneye to Skyfall when she was played by Judi Dench

The pope is American He is not an American religious leader He does not represent America He represents the church Hope that distinction helps

I didn't get a seal of approval. I got the walrus of worries and the sea lion of self doubt

It wasn’t an insult, it was a traditional Roman compliment.

(cartoon Steve Sack) #politics

Scientists have discovered a tiny blue octopus near the Galapagos Islands. I guess George Carlin was wrong. There is blue food! 😢

I just yelled "Hey everybody, food's here" so my Dasher wouldn't think these 2 dozen tacos are for me and only me. 🌮 😅 🌮

The one thing they don't tell you about. Talk about a rude awakening! 🤣

I have several cats and understand and agree completely with their views. Spay & neuter ferals & do what you can to protect wild avian life, including indoor only cats.

Been looking at getting into rock/gemstone fossicking in the area. Only 1 ssssslllliiigghhhtt problem. This area doesn't really have any naturally produced except for opalized petrified wood. On ONE particular little patch (500-750 acres) that is privately owned. *Sigh*

I actually saw my Elders fired from jobs, humiliated, beaten, bombed, murdered, lynched and assassinated for the right to vote. I have a debt to pay. I repay that debt every Election Day when I vote for the candidate of my choice.

"I need to re-home a dog. It's a small terrier, and tends to bark a lot. If you're interested, let me know and I'll jump over the neighbours fence and get it for you."

Harmless or venomous?” Yes. 🏃‍♀️💨🐍🤣

Mmmooooooommmmmm....the hissy outdoor cat is eating my food!!