We have to defeat capitalism so clipping press conferences on social media is no longer considered a job

If this little girl Aleida doesn't end up in space, I'm gonna be very cross.

This comment has been taking me out for like 15 minutes.

Fellas you gotta dress like Rihanna and get your own rain machine for the musical number, it works

24 hours to come up with ANYTHING, and "you've got some explaining to do, mister" is the best this useless fuckass can do.

Once again reminding world leaders that it's apparently acceptable to kidnap the sitting head of state now.

They got Vic Mackey out here in The Oldest Yard.

I really appreciate my subconscious jolting me out of the dream of my deepest desire after .3 seconds, but giving me two full verses of grandmother Winslow from Family Matters??? doing some TikTok dance.

Once again rendered emotionally unwell by The Pitt. This was supposed to be a stress episode, not a feelings episode.

It may be time to retire the artform, because I don't think anything's topping this.

Y'ALL

The entirely hostile framing of that photo >>>>>

Astronaut

The problem is that the movies fucking suck. We aren't even asking for GOOD. The Venom movies were terrible, but they were fun, and when they weren't fun, there was a VenomHorse. Maybe make Morbius a horse? It can't be worse than Jared Leto.

HARNS DOWN BABY

The version that made it onto the album kinda sucks, but this live version is the shit. youtu.be/rnJEV8tVSJc?...

It’s a good thing that Urkel episode where he makes a machine to turn him from an annoying unpleasant man to smooth cool Stefan Urquelle didn’t air today or tech guys would spend 10 trillion dollars trying to make it for real

Not only do the losers get a stuffy, but it's shittier than the one the winners get? That's fucked up. Like, making them accept a stuffed weasel is already perverse, but giving them a shitty weasel? Disgusting.

Give Connor Hellebuyck a sword

Hockey may have the smallest gap between "everything happening is a beautiful exhibition of skill and precision" and "everyone on both teams is just hitting every button on the controller and hoping for the best."

the US killing that 5 on 3

Ten glorious years of a guy who has mostly been the president and always been the main character of American political life doing posts like this and everyone trying to figure out what cable news segment he saw, misunderstood in the way a dog might misunderstand a crossword, and made into policy.

Show me a wrestler you could never hate

I need you to read the alt text. You're welcome to scroll for context, but it's not required.

Ain’t nothin to hear out brother them fairies are peak

If you come at me with "this business" about entertainment, you're getting booted. The shit is about having fun. Take your NeoGAF/SquaredCircle/IMDB honorary MBA and fuck off.

Well, fuck. It's Wingo cooked, now.

I've been typing "BCBS" probably 500 times a week for the past eight months, and there's still a 50/50 shot I type BCSB.

So now the prices will go back down

Oh my god, look at them 😠

Okay, The Pitt, I'm ready to be hurt again.

someone please kill me

They said it. We’re all thinking it.

I'd be willing to put money on the venn diagram of "people who would defend this ad" and "people who bring up how 'we never talk about men who are sexually assaulted' whenever women try to talk about being sexually assaulted" being a perfect circle.

trying to think of a more unsettling thing a dog owner could say than "oh, that's my CZECHOSLOVAKIAN WOLFDOG, named NAZGUL"

It smells like churros outside, and I'm about to hurt somebody.

I don't know about anything else they eat, but Australians are absolutely not fucking around with their cheddar.

When you suspect the customer service agent is an idiot and they suspect you're an idiot, and you're both right >>>>>>>

After, I don't know, five months of being annoyed by how shitty my Echo Dot sounds as a speaker, I rearranged my desk and set up my soundbar.

This is entrance music that gets a midcarder so over they headline WrestleMania. music.youtube.com/watch?v=lgct...

Good morning, coach. Took longer than I wanted but the “Woke Loves Me, Fish Fear Me” hat is live. Proceeds go to a rent-relief and eviction-prevention org in SE Minnesota, Hope At Home Fund. Thanks for the inspiration! woke-walleye.printify.me