Occasionally saw basketball hall-of-famer Ralph Sampson picking up dinner to go at the Italian restaurant I worked at in suburban Columbus. Also saw David Cross at Grandpa’s Cheese Barn, a locally famous roadside attraction between Columbus and Cleveland.

This is our Dead Head sticker on a Cadillac

A billion dollars to the person who invents a smoke detector that senses a low battery overnight but knows to hold that chirp until 7 AM

What perfect album came out the year you turned 16?

@artbutmakeitsports.bsky.social please

ChatGPT, “please generate a MLB defensive alignment”

Absolutely give me Glen Powell as a 21st century Indiana Jones. “IT BELONGS IN ITS COUNTRY OF ORIGIN AND SHOULD BE REPATRIATED!”

@harvilla.bsky.social 60 Songs introduced me (born in 1988) to “Birdhouse in Your Soul” and now I can’t stop singing it to my eight-week-old son. You seem like the kind of guy who would appreciate knowing he had this effect.

Somehow, Mexico, Central America, and South America don’t fit Miller’s conception of “the West” (I know, it’s code for “white”)

Me at any Menzingers concert

There is a certain level of intoxicated where “Bee Thousand” by Guided by Voices is the perfect, most fully actualized entry into the Western musical canon. I hope you find it.

This is really unfair to everyone who just voted for him for the racism.

I see Tito April is transferable to other teams

@kentremendous.bsky.social whoever wrote the “Disney World” line for Werner Herzog, please thank them for me. I hope they won a Peabody Award or something. youtu.be/g4V1K1JCg_Q?...

I’m all for due process but can we just chase Elon Musk into the sea already

Not pictured: a single healthy starting pitcher In mid-July, when the Mets are 45-51 and trailing in the division by 7.5 games, and everyone is trying to figure out what went wrong, remember this.

Why does every single one of these ghouls look like a Bill Hader character

Run for your life, Caleb!

Post a fictional character who you think would be an antivaxxer. Hard mode: No villains

Live your best life, Carsten Charles!

[if Chuck Schumer replaced Russell Crowe in Gladiator] My name is Maximus Decimus Meridius, commander of the Armies of the North, General of the Felix Legions and loyal servant to the TRUE emperor, Marcus Aurelius. Father to a murdered son, husband to a murdered wife. And I'm ready to work with you

One one hand you’ve got right-wing evangelicals whose modern interpretations of Christianity (incongruent with all historical ones) led them to the core tenet that LGBTQ lives are incompatible with god, while on the other hand you’ve got liberals who reject this bigotry. Who’s to say who’s right!

After securing a $25 recurring monthly donation from me, the Planned Parenthood fundraiser put a notch on my fencepost to alert other liberal causes that a bleeding heart people pleaser lives here.

@bearintheburgh.bsky.social welcome

Every single “I cheered for this but then it affected me/someone I know and now I think it’s bad” story makes me want to explode

Starting a self-serving thread of songs that I think are a perfect 10/10. I’ll add whenever one pops into my head:

*Me seeing Meta announce these AI accounts* what a terrible idea, this won’t last a week *Me seeing the first AI account they made is an embarrassing caricature of a queer black woman* OH this won’t last a DAY

Don’t you dare tell me college football isn’t beautiful.

Buckeyes right now

I love that the Guardians, Reds, Pirates, and Phillies share two states but found a way to claim exactly one state each. Very satisfying.

Jayson Tatum, with the wings of angels (the refs) always shielding him, somehow is still PERPETUALLY whining. Cannot stand him.

i'm your biggest fan i'll follow you until you love me...

Got on Bluesky to plan for my post-Twitter future and it kind of feels like terraforming Mars.