Lmao

OnlyFans but it's just me in a recliner and sneezing loud enough to rattle the windows, startling everyone present

United States Secretary of Defense, 2025:

Monotremes (platypuses and echidnas) do not have stomachs. Rather, a slight bulge in their digestive tract that does not secrete acid, nor a sphincter to retain the contents.

8675309 is prime, and so is 8675311, so if you ever need a middlin'-large pair of adjacent primes to test your cryptographic suite, all you need is a 1980s earworm and a +2 and you're all set.

Say that he needs to resign immediately. If he refuses to, work with your colleagues in the House to impeach him. If you don't, then you think he needs to remain president, and you are either a coward or a traitor.

Ron Paul primary voter woke up from a 13-year coma, and was told there was a shooting war in Europe ahh response

girl are you the kobayashi maru because this shit was doomed from the start

Least edgelord Drizzt Do'Urden fan

Congratulations to A Tribe Called Quest for being the last remaining hip hop artists adored by white emo kids in 2004 to not crash out on short-form social media

Fuckaas bitchposting is back. The Skyline is healing.

basically elon bet that you can waterboard ppl with fascist propaganda if you also give them 5K botted likes on their post that just says “chicking nugget” and the world’s dumbest homosexuals fell for it

Reading this short thread I realized that we are all of us Beavis, slowly falling into madness under the oppressive fist of a malevolent idiot.

Cory Wong. He's been nominated for at least one Grammy, and has Signature Stratocaster bearing his name.

The main difference between their characters is that I would view Butthead as being morally culpable for his crimes in a way I wouldn’t for Beavis. Beavis I’m almost instantly arguing down to manslaughter, Butthead is full Murder One

Epstein and Nuzzi highlighting the sex demon caste that rules us in the run-up to what could be a historic financial meltdown feels like turning on your bathroom light at 3 AM to find bloody finger painting on the mirror

"average working woman sleeps with 3 colleagues in her career" factoid actualy just statistical error. average woman sleeps with 0 colleagues per career. Olivia Nuzzi, who lives in cave & sleeps with over 10,000 each assignment, is an outlier adn should not have been counted

Ordinarily I'm a tireless advocate for compassionate, evidence-based, and non-carceral care for mental illness--which is difficult to square with thinking religious psychosis can only be treated by indefinite confinement in a Dickensian sanatorium, with icy hose baths, strait jackets, and cold gruel

They used the equivalent energy consumption of the entire 19th century melting stadiums full of the world's most advanced processing chips in order to make a computer that cant do math

Regular reminder that Larry Summers is a senior fellow and economic policy advisor for the Center For American Progress and Project 2029, respectively. The latter have already stated they have no intention of cutting him loose.

How dinosaur do you think a chicken could get with a good century of selective breeding. Could you redinosaur chickens

1294: Kublai Khan dies--and with him, any hope of reconciling the successor Khanates of the Mongol Empire.

"Hi reddit. My employer is threatening legal action against me for going on a date. My friends, family, even coworkers are siding with my boss! I don't think it relates to my job duties, so I'm fighting it. AITAH?" "EDIT: gf and I are colleagues" "EDIT2: we met in school" "EDIT3: I work there"

idc if he's a big dem donor, if reid hoffman had sex with children on epstein's island he should go to jail for rape and if he didn't then the truth needs to come out and he should only go to jail for creating linkedin

people are so incredibly dumb, I'm mad that I felt pressured to be smart my entire life

you: it probably is not actually true that donald trump blew bill clinton me: it depends on what your definition of is is

"I've never met Epstein!" "OK, but I didn't know him well" "OK, but it was before We Knew" "OK, but I never flew on his plane" "OK, but never visited LSJ" "OK, but I did nothing illegal" "OK, well it's hearsay. I'm not in the files" "What *IS* pedophilia, anyway, man?" <-- We are here

I, for one, am relieved all the stores will finally stop the Partially Muscled Skeleton songs they've been playing for the past two months.

A big problem that the mainstream media eventually needs to account for: if the mainstream media missed a cabal of rich pedophiles, who were so convinced that they would never be held accountable that they put all their sex crimes in emails, what is the use of having journalism?

Petitioning one of those "unwearable t-shirts" guys for a design with various photos of Michael Jackson, as a Black Heeheebrew Israelite

Growing up in a time when “selling out” was the most shameful thing you could do and then being forced to live through the 2020s feels like being kicked in the head by a horse every day

Nah. This is the face of a man who learned to timidly type on an Olympia Carrera, and hasn't lost his hunt-and-peck habits decades into the PC era. This man knows exactly where he was when Challenger exploded. He has a 1972 Miami Dolphins game ball autographed by Howard Twilley.

Oh, so we're COOKED cooked

POV: You're a caveman discovering social cohesion:

If you have to get permission to teach in your area of expertise from people who are definitionally not qualified to adjudicate your expertise then you are no longer working at a university. You’re working at a state propaganda factory.

This is how you know these Ivy League fucks have never had to make any real adult decisions in their lives. Anybody who's bought a house knows intimately the ensuing bureaucratic ballet. Untold mountains of paperwork, and the lender crawls up your ass to account for every red cent to your name.

You betcha!

It's another layer of national degradation and moral decline to see the political media treat child rape like just another horserace issue.

The Oprah coaching tree might be as bad as Bill Belichick's.

This has been my takeaway from the latest tranche of Epstein material, too. It's one thing to outsmart titans of industry and politics, whom we now know are quite credulous--but seeing Epstein's scattershot diction merits re-examining the credulity of all the scientists who stayed in his orbit.

Joyce Carol Oates: this mf does not read Elon Musk: I resemble that remark! I'll have you know that I watch LOADS of movies and play video games through an intermediary!

Imagine getting dog walked by this guy

Time to remove yourself from the voter rolls. If the Democratic Party has one hater, it's me.

Full offense, but fuck Jacob Frey and the white Minneapolitans who ranked him