"Kids will want to see the original Milli Vanilli!"

Jared Polis retire bitch

If Kamala Harris had gone to Beijing and proclaimed that the US is in decline, pledged increased Chinese ownership of US farmland, crippled exports of critical raw materials, gave up Taiwan, and cut out early, MCAS Iwakuni would have scrambled F-35s with shootdown orders for AF1.

My "didn't allow RFK Jr. to perform heart surgery on a real patient" t-shirt has people asking a lot of questions already answered by my shirt

Morbidly curious to see how TikTok users end up bowdlerizing Hantavirus once mentions of it start getting shadowbanned.

me after I sow:

Again the reason that Dems can't play hardball is that they instinctively know deep in their bones that they have nothing prepared for higher rungs of escalation. Every city councilor that even floated a .0005% reduction of police funding got a visit from the cops promising to murder their kids.

The retreat of Daily Wire-types has created a right-wing streamers power vacuum that, to ny understanding, has been filled by: - Anorexic meth user that deforms his skull with a hammer - Guy who dresses up as a cowboy and holds black people at gunpoint to call them the hard-R - Nick Fuentes, again

Threw this together last spring upon finding a mouse infestation when opening a friend's cabin for the year, but didn't expect to have to reuse it. Alas, we live in Hell

Currently imagining explaining to someone in a coma since 2017 that a key swing state Senate primary had its 80-year-old frontrunner drop out, essentially conceding the race to a Blackwater goon with Nazi tattoos, and then being strangled when you clarify it's the Democratic race

Got up early in hopes of catching this photo before work this morning. There's only a few days each year where it's cool enough in the morning to make this shot possible. Thankfully, today was one of those days! #wildlife #birds

Centrists on here will say, "oh you want to firebomb a Walmart? That pales in comparison to my strategy, voting" and then firebomb a Walmart

"I'm targeting Donald Blumpf because he's a big mean poopyhead, but I wouldn't have done it if he'd built his big, secure, beautiful ballroom ;)" Trump doesn't even try to make convincing false flag assassins anymore, he just looks at you like this [Stare from 'The Whale']

John Apple, you have but only to drive a spear through the ribs of Sam Altman

August 2029: SCOTUS issues a 6-3 decision in USCCB v. Trump, finding that Trump's Supreme Catholic Church of the Americas violates the Establishment Clause, but stops short of compensation for Catholic Church property, whose seizure is an official act. Barrett, Thomas join Justice Cannon's dissent.

Can Trump establish his American Catholic Church? Experts say it's complicated.

My "Not introduced to my husband by a notorious sex trafficker" t-shirt has people asking a lot of questions already answered by my shirt

When every leftist movement for the last century ends with "and then the FBI shot them in the face," you get exactly what you see in the US.

And only a smattering of sacrificial lambs from our alleged opposition party are so much as saying anything about it, because most of them tacitly (or even explicitly) support the genocide.

FATALITY

My "Not coerced into a throuple with my manipulative unemployed husband and his side chick because of my insecurities" book has people asking a lot of questions already answered by my book

Sure the state of US governance is bad, but have you thought about how much worse revelations are currently being sat on by insiders and access journalists until they can sell books with it in 2029?

Golden retriever runs 15 feet after owner mimes throwing tennis ball

I gotta admit it's at least a *little* curious how quickly red-brown contrarians elevated Cesar Chavez from labor aristocrat gusano to Hero of the Soviet Union the instant he was outed as a sex pest

we are giving Arizona no less than one (1) hell yeag

Dementia patient President spends a decade replacing bilateral free trade agreement with bilateral free trade agreement www.nytimes.com/2026/03/16/u...

2008: Republicans clamor for war with Iran. Banksy is "confirmed" to be Robin Gunningham. 2015: Republicans clamor for war with Iran. Banksy is "confirmed" to be Robin Gunningham. 2017: Republicans clamor for war with Iran. Banksy is "confirmed" to be Robin Gunningham. 2026: Republicans clamor fo

June and I had an idea for a bumper sticker and now it exists in real life

Close enough, welcome back Marion Barry

it's called compute, we already pretty much have this, and you're not the one selling it, Sam

Tony Hac's Pro Vice

"Shartans! What is YOUR profession?!" [Cacophony of gross diarrhea noises]

The Congress of Vienna, 1815:

[Hall and Oates] You make my dreams come true UwU, UwU

"Sore loser cops take out their frustrations on the new mayor after losing a snowball fight" sounds like a plot point out of a Hallmark Christmas movie from 1996. NYC must be in pretty good shape if that's the biggest scandal right now

"Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, Dante Hicks is just like you: he looooves grape soda!"

I'm not believing this until I hear from people in the streets of MN and neither should you

My "ICE is a legitimate law enforcement agency" statement has people asking a lot of questions already answered by my statement.

Finally, my two favorite hobbies in one!

INTERVIEWER: can i see your resume ME: *slides paper across desk* INTERVIEWER: this is just a note that says “do u like me __yes __no” ME: *averts eyes* well do u INTERVIEWER: *bites end of pencil* idk maybe

Driving my Tesla and shaking my head the whole time so the people on the freeway know I disagree with it

I don't even, it just popped into my head and I had to draw it badly

MAGA on social media: The West is winning. Gott Mit Uns. MAGA in the courtroom: Please put me in jail so I don't have to work tomorrow

You all have free range to use this image in response to any transphobia now

I'm here you fuckaas bitch

Common Bluesky T&S L

Nobody wants to play the co-opted rebranded Kennedy Center, so our infant President who shits himself and sits in it and makes everyone smell it is tearing it down.

we said all along that they wanted Gawker dead not because we embarrassed a pro wrestler but because the Epstein story is one Gawker was covering a decade before most other people caught up & was just one of many stories exposing powerful people and their misdeeds