The Philip Rivers Story starring Vince Vaughn

Rivers doing his best Kenny Powers

“Not for minerals.”

Honestly, this is the reason we aren’t all dead already.

He has dementia and whatever excuse the media would use to say they don’t engage in diagnoses died the moment they, with absolutely no evidence, suggested Biden had Parkinson’s.

He’s chasing legacy because he knows he’s dying.

I love my wife because when I say things like, “what if we’re actually the insane ones?” she’ll respond without missing a beat with something like, “you’re too smart to be this stupid.”

Just remember, he thinks stealth means invisible.

I just uploaded @jasonparis.bsky.social 's recording of the segment CBS News pulled from "60 Minutes" to YouTube:

Gallup has him underwater with white people lol

“United Shtates”

Good luck getting home insurers to pretend climate change doesn’t exist.

The slurring is nonstop now.

The most disturbing thing about so many white voters is that they’ll shoot themselves in the head in the off chance that the black or brown person standing behind them also gets hit.

Got a one star rating from someone who gave a Bill O’Reilly book five stars. A) I’ll take that as a compliment and B) I wish those type of readers would stop finding my book.

Thought this was James Comey for a second.

Battle: Los Angeles is hilarious because the U.S. military assumed that a species that could traverse the stars to invade earth didn’t have an aerial force

Always said the only thing keeping the Christian Right from becoming the Taliban was comfort. Then the Black dude got elected and all their comfort went out the window, and here we are.

Imagine being a veteran journalist and having Bari Weiss condescend to you like this.

Prime Lee Atwater would be laughed out of today’s GOP.

Went grocery shopping and everything is $8. An apple? Cough up $8. One potato? That’ll be $8. A single coffee bean? You guessed it. 8 fucking dollars.

Been trying to convince my mom, to no avail, to stop watching CBS news. That changed yesterday. So, I’d like to thank Bari Weiss for helping me help her lose one more viewer.

We need a recall mechanism in this country.

That’s why health nostalgia always cracks me up. It’s insane watching people pining for a time when shitting yourself to death was not uncommon.

Republicans can end this insanity whenever they want.

JD Vance looks like an Ewok with fetal alcohol syndrome.

Paramount-owned CBS abruptly canceled a story exposing the Trump administration's brutal deportations. The reporter called it a "political decision." Paramount needs Trump’s backing to buy Warner Bros. — including CNN. Is that just a coincidence? This looks like corruption.

He hates Black women so much he invented a fake presidency so that he could get mad at one.

“Boys. Be boys,” is her way of rationalizing marrying a rapist.

This is the last throes of white nationalism. It’s also what desperation looks like.

The most online administration ever.

He’s going to poll in the 10’s the moment he succeeds Trump.

HASSETT: If the Supreme Court doesn't find with us, refunds would go to whoever cut the check for the tariff BRENNAN: Doesn't the administration claim it was the country that paid that? HASSETT: Uhh --

Literally phoning it in.

A libertarian arguing for collective bargaining lmao.

BRENNAN: What are you going to do to force DOJ to comply? MASSIE: The quickest way and most expeditious way to get justice for these victims is to bring inherent contempt against Pam Bondi. That doesn't require going through the courts. We're drafting that right now.

Stop playing. Biggie was different.

We been singing the same song and it remains true. A change gone come.

Our music was simply better. It’s not a discussion.

I’m so excited to share my next novel with the world (all three of y’all)! But first, check out my debut! #booksky

My favorite American narrative is that white men are children until the day they die and black men are adults the moment they are born.

I’m cackling

to add to the Jake Paul schadenfreude, Andrew Tate also lost a fight to some reality TV influencer. most analysis of the fight I've read described his opponent as deeply untalented but Andrew lost anyway. Tate's endurance was awful and he was gassed after the first round.

When the head of The Onion posts real news that sounds like an Onion article.

No one should ever take these people seriously ever again.

Why are any of the rest of us expected to obey the laws when the president proves everyday that they’re abstract at best.

I do not envy the next Democratic president. The task of bringing all these criminals to justice while trying to piece back together the very foundations of our government and institutions will be daunting.