what the hell is going on over here

the ultimate lesbian carabiner

did you guys know that if you have stretched lobes you can actually just go to the hardware store and buy quick links, small padlocks, small d-shackles, etc and use those in your ears . like no one’s stopping you and it looks swag

NEW NAILS !!!!!!!! by me :3

it was cold when I colour matched it btw :3c

ur in her dms she’s next to me painting her nails the colour of my tip

who funding this heat pack puppy for when I start FIFO and have to spend weeks away from my darling

who’s in Perth and wants to let me practice gel manicures on them for very very cheap¹ :3c I just got lots of new colours ¹($15 to cover materials and time)

hi im chew toy

if i had a penny for every time someone said they wanted to get me pregnant in this dress my wife would have to give me like four pennies

I’m gonna be the first ever person to get a trans woman pregnant I swear to GOD I need to see her wearing this dress holding a child on her hip I can’t fucking do it anymore

happy pride month, new profile picture what's up 💖

i had a dream i was a weird creature thing that got loose in a national park and i was just stealing peoples bags and eating trash and they had to send an even more fucked up creature thing after me to bring my shenanigans to a halt but i killed that creature with my bare hands (and teeth)

this hrose is how I feel whenever I post something that sends me into hysterics but no one thinks it’s as funny . man . HAHA

scoops cat poop out of the litter box* she loves me *scoops cat poop out of the litter box* she loves me not *scoops cat poop out of the litter box* she loves me *scoops cat poop out of the litter box* she loves me not *scoops cat poop out of the litter box* she loves me *scoops cat poop out of the

getting a dog toy tattooed on my bicep so my puppy wife can chew on it whenever she wants

Forcing my cat to remember all of his 9 lives with 40hz binaural audio

lube spotted 🫵😲

I’m gonna be the first ever person to get a trans woman pregnant I swear to GOD I need to see her wearing this dress holding a child on her hip I can’t fucking do it anymore

Armand de Fazbear 5 Nights in San Fransisco

cuddling is not enough I need our hearts to physically touch one and other

my problem is that i always want to buy something

i don’t have anything clever to say so here’s my ass i went to work and then came home and applied for like 30 jobs in addition to the 20 i applied for on my lunch break i just wanna be the cute clocky receptionist that tells bad jokes cmon bro

due to cozzie livs I have started doing gel nails instead of paying for a salon to do it. victim one… MY WIFE !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

encouraging her to finish her food by saying good dogs lick the plate

omg they’re kissing

me and the bad bitch I pulled by explaining how solenoid intake valves work

she’s so sexy when she talks about fixing up the house dropping words like ‘solenoid’ and ‘intake’ idk wtf that means baby but hii what are u doing later

thank the lorde for butches bc i don’t fuckin know how to fix a washing machine and she doesn’t know how to operate it and that’s beautiful i think

UGHHHHHH I got up soooo sneaky and went to make coffee and something for her to eat and she fucking appeared upstairs saying “awww I overslept”

the real test of marriage is: do I let my wife sleep after she turns off her alarm and as a result have her upset that she “wasted the day” OR do I wake her up so she doesn’t “waste the day” and she’s grumpy cos she’s tired

reasons you should follow me: 1) i can solve rubiks cube 2) im funny 3) no third reason

I have the solution to the situation regarding house prices! The answer is: I have to buy a house. As soon as I do, prices will fall 50%, at least.

me quoting the entire road to eldorado movie when I hear 1 (one) phrase that reminds me of it

who’s got two thumbs and was the imprognator 👎 (: 👍

Reskeet how old you are, using a vague proxy: I learnt to type in a computer lab at school

You know my swag not my story...

she gave me work everyone !!!! my KPIs are BACK UP ⬆️ ⬆️ ⬆️ I’m on TOP OF THE WORLD !!!!!! and best employee at the company of My Marriage

assigned butch at birth

yall if she keeps calling me mommy im gonna put parental controls on her phone . say goodbye to youre precious Cassierole

EVERYONE . please repost this . my self confidence is based solely on this photo

yall I really tied this shit on and then my wife said HOLE CLOSED TONIGHT 🙅‍♀️🙅‍♀️🙅‍♀️🙅‍♀️🙅‍♀️ and now what .

Her shitty opinions is she has small boobs btw, which is not only INCORRECT but also , like she said, a shitty opinion

SEAFOOD SUSHI BAR-BE-QUE SEA FOODSUSHI BA BAR-BE-QUE

this is the funniest thing I’ve seen today thank you so much Bluesky user nofunoverlord.top