This is simply what happens when you use AI to write and review code instead of all those engineers you fired. AI cannot write code. It copies it. Poorly. It's the same folly you get when downsizing. You're not simply losing people, you're losing knowledge. Anyway good luck with your Forbidden.

It's pathology test day! 💃🏼 The most annoying test is prolactin. You have to sit still for 15 minutes before the vampires take your blood. Which makes me wonder how useful the rest really is. 🤷🏼‍♀️ What does sitting still for 15 minutes really tell you? 😂

Ooh la la! 🇫🇷

Good morning Bangkok! All aboard the trans-girl trijet express return to Sydney... And let me just say these graphics of Suvarnabhumi Airport are *exquisite*. If you've been to Suvarnabhumi, you will definitely recognise this gate; they all look like this. It's *absurdly* detailed and true to life.

You look like you've been locked outside on a cold, windy apartment balcony and want to be let back in, you stupid orange scrote.

You'd think Australia would generate more singers if the birds were anything to go by. Seriously the birds here sing, loudly and frequently like you're in some Disney little princess movie. If only two birdies would crown me with a tiara each morning like I rightly deserve.

Whenever you do something stupid, just do what the kids say they're doing: you're something-maxxing. For example, I bit my tongue so hard today that it has a new dent. I was lesbimaxxing!

Today's hot news: World's smallest violin spotted at fuel station as Americans bitch piss and moan about paying $1.02 per litre of gasoline. 🎻

I have the pointiest nipples in the alpha quadrant. In other news, I called in sick today and there's at least half the regular number of cars driving around... It's so peaceful. Good riddance to bad dinosaur burners.

I can't be the only one that thought Steve Jobs looked like a buzzard.

It's now selling for $11,679.00. We all know who we can thank for that price increase. 9 months and my laptop has more than doubled in value. This is outperforming my retirement nest egg and shares combined!

The world needs more people like Mary! ❤️ You're awesome!!

I swear to god, I work for Initech. (For real, we just have a different name) Millennials+ will know what I'm talking about. If you're unsure what Initech is and especially if you haven't entered the workforce yet, watch a 1997 movie called "Office Space". I am the female version of Peter Gibbons.

Flying Swiss 4213 connection from Brisbane to Sydney, join me if you're bored. #flightsim #msfs #md11 #yssy #ybbn #twitch #stream #chocolates

School was like: Teacher: "Ok, let's put our thinking caps on!" Me: <puts on my baseball cap> Teacher: "Take your hat off!!" Me: "But you told us to put our thinking caps on" Teacher: "Don't talk back! Go to the principal's office!" Five year olds don't understand metaphors you fucking morons.

Today ended with a catastrophic triple-database failure. Lucky however I saw this coming a year ago as our kit is decrepit. I spun up a secret sextuple redundancy without permission in September. Self-approved my own PR, pushed to prod. No oversight. Company is back online. You're welcome, fuckers.

Today's daily work stand-up meeting went very well: I said "fuck" 3 times, "fucking" 3 times, and described a certain person as, "a fucking clown". The meeting ended with me laughing hysterically at the stupidity for about one minute. They didn't even ask for my work update. Dasha doesn't care.

Omg I'm snapping. This is me snapping. I have been nice to people my whole life and what has it got me. Nothing. Not a wedding invitation not a proposal not even a good damn care package when I had cancer, and frankly... I'm fucking sick of giving. I'm going to be an asshole from now on. 🖕🏻

Oh you'll love this, now they want back in! You bet your goose stepping fascist managerial ass I'll let you back in. But now I'm building my secret sauce as a C binary, so you can't (easily) decompile it and fuck me over again. Cry me a river you jackboot pieces of shit.

I had the sweetest revenge at work today. That's two days of work related revenge in two days, and fuck me dead am I enjoying it. 💃🏼🎉 Don't fuck with Dasha because Dasha will fuck you harder. I'm having a wonderful week, how are you?

You realise you're getting old when people younger than yourself start dying. I've been in three traffic accidents, been hit in the head and lost of 5 litres of blood (that's a lot), and survived cancer. I have no idea how I'm still here. I'm built like a battleship. A very sexy battleship.

I had a great day watching the fallout. Yep, they're stuffed.

This is my response to the mayhem that has ensued... except I'm a lot better looking.

Me: "When I close these cells, you can't open them again. You ARE still using them. Please confirm your order is correct?" Work: "Yes" Me: <facepalm> "Are you SURE? Do you understand what I'm saying?" Work: "Yes" Me: "...Okay! shutting down cells 1, 2, 3 and 4." <entire software pipeline halts>

Just a lazy nine hour flight from Zurich to New York 🗽 on a Sunday. One hour to go, whee!! Hopefully the NY controllers aren't too rude to me.

Things I will pay a premium for quality includes keyboards, makeup, ice-cream, and women removalists. Anyway go back to your usual scrolling. I have nothing interesting to contribute today.

you can now hit your own balls with a hammer

Formaldehyde face!

You can easily update it to keep them horny gen alpha away. Cassette is: A. A small girl by the name of Cassie. B. Stale French bread. C. A type of hound. D. Something old people say.

I have the answer to the requirements of account setup compliance with the California Assembly Bill 1043. A wise man called Al Lowe came up with the solution in 1987:

Oh joy it's power tool Sunday. Can't people take one fucking day off making home reno noise? Go watch porn and goon all day in your man cave, whatever the fuck that is, and just give the rest of us one single day of peace.

People talk about things that mysteriously go missing, and question where those things go. Like socks, and pens. But I think we should be asking where mystery additions come from. Like why does every fuel bowser have at least one paint splatter on it that matches nothing else at the gas station?

I don't mean to alarm you, but there may be a leech and or leeches on the loose in the house. 😱

I've been fucked continuously for four hours and had a bunch of orgasms (I'm an endurance machine)... and it's still not enough. 😦 I was meant to do porn or something. My vagina knows no satiety.

Canada is so cold that planes often become constipated and they have to give it a hot air enema to get things moving again. So there's a nice little factoid for you.

Metro hotel, Martin Place. Looks like an elevated pill box of war, but hey every city has to have its own brutalist futuristic thing. Nicely done, Sydney.

It is also where The Matrix has The Woman in the Red Dress scene. A factoid I have been compelled by my brain to repeat for over 25 years & apparently must continue to do so.

I'm posting these pictures because even though I love 🇫🇷 with all my heart, 🇦🇺 is by comparison obsessed with money and unrestrained property greed. However! I can't deny one thing: Sydney is a *very* pretty city. The Aussies just need to rid their flag of that Union Jack. (omg *please* bin it!)

The Domain. They sometimes have concerts and outdoor theatre here. It's pretty nice.

Sydney Eye Hospital, made out of pretty sandstone.

And this is Martin Place, Australia's equivalent of Wall Street.

Dasha on a city bus. No makeup today, just el naturalé. Say hi to your girlfriend for me.

Good morning and happy Sunday, Australia! Today I'm flying FedEx® 121 from MEL to SYD on Twitch. It's quiet so if you have any questions I'll likely have time to answer them if I'm not on manual or talking to Air Traffic Control. twitch.tv/dashasierra

Remember kids, spending causes inflation. So... Do your part for the economy: Jump the turnstiles.

I am SO tired of charity muggers. Go away.

I find myself discussing the best places to abandon a baby. I reckon residential bus stop. The baby is going to get found relatively quickly, and there's no cameras. 👶 Waaaahh!

Doing an online event stream, taking Rachael for a spin from Melbourne to Sydney. Feel free to join me if you find jet engines soothing. Forewarning: I am slow in chat while flying. www.twitch.tv/dashasierra

Apparently Trashhub won't let me get access their trash collection without me giving them my passport. Oh... no. 🙄 Whatever will I do without Trashhub. Can you *feel* the sarcasm?

The Poseidon Adventure 1974 is so hilarious, I cannot stop laughing. Whelp, boat turned over, guess it is being weighed down by all these grand pianos they had all over the place. What should we do now? Let's climb a Christmas tree!

Helping people is the best. 💜