I'll get a DM, the icon flashes and changes colour, I don't even notice it until 4-6 hours later. My brain has figured out how to ignore peripheral notifications! This is what happens when every application demands my immediate attention all the fucking time.

I've determined that I require a girlfriend who doesn't want SRS. I need it. 🥺👉🏻👈🏻

For some reason my parents believed me when I said I had study group on Friday nights. ... We were fucking. Study group was fucking.

Jones in the Fast Lane taught me that if I paid my rent on time and studied and worked hard then I'm end up owning a house and being top dog and let me tell you how disappointed I am.

Picard spoiler alert: Geordi spent all his free time building a galaxy class starship in his garage. I think they glossed over that little factoid a little too briefly. my neighbour can't even install a fucking concrete slab in the space of a year, how the fuck did Geordi build a starship.

Don't give a rats fat ass about Discord. They banned me two years ago for sending my own tits to a friend (consensually) in a DM. Not on a server, a DM. The sooner you stop using it the better. They are not your friend; they are a bunch of fucking clowns, including their malfunctioning AI "Clyde".

My favourite collective noun is, "bunch", mostly because it is funny. "Yeah that's a bunch of crap"

You know a guy is really into you when you discover he's been jerking off to your passport photo. I cannot stop laughing.

Seriously, he says it *a lot* more than you realise. And if you also combine it with taking a shot when he says, "Shields Up!", you will likely need to get your stomach pumped. He says it with such gusto! "Shields up! Red Alert!"

Every time Riker says, "Red Alert!", take a shot. You won't remember the episode by the end.

I was told Pepsi Max tastes like balls. I've tasted Pepsi Max, and I've tasted balls. (And I'm a raging lezzer) I assure you, balls taste way better than Pepsi Max.

"FedEx Corp has taken the next step in spinning off FedEx Freight into its own publicly traded company." - USA Today So can any of you business apes explain to me exactly what FedEx does once it is freightless? Because to me, this sounds like a blatant cash-grab for a company that's already public?

I just saw the monthly subscription price for Autodesk Maya, I almost spat my coffee out; you people are gangsters! Also why is there no spit-take emoji? The closest seems to be the puke emoji: 🤮

What is it with hetero-millennials and greyscale? Everything they own is either white, grey, or black. Car, sofa, clothes, bedspread, house, appliances, everything. There *are* colour options out there, they just choose to ignore them. Waiting for the "disable saturation on your TV" trend to start.

I think that these apple TV shows' stories are just being made up as they go along. 😂 Hijack season two is hilariously ridiculous, or as I like to call it, "The taking of Alexanderplatz one two three".

There's very little meat in this gym mat.

Watched a German film last night called "Run Lola, Run". It was good, recommend it if you're in the mood for a light hearted thriller.

In 24 hours, I get freed from my arm and leg plasters, I can live a normal life again. Yay!!! I have a lot of accidents. I average an ambulance ride to emergency once every two years. The ED attending doctors and triage nurses all know me by name now... without ID. 😂 That's embarrassing.

"I'm going to go listen to the dog", said no one ever.

Happy USS Enterprise Day to people who use the correct date format! 🖖 Hopefully bsky doesn't make too much of a blurry mess out of this image, but I suspect it will.

oh yay it's harry pothead and the who gives a flying rats fat ass

💙🤍❤️ OOH LA LA! 💙🤍❤️

As far as I can ascertain, mental asylums always have two types of patients: Deluded manic male with bleached tipped hair, and a ridiculously horny girl who has been smoking the devil's lettuce since the cradle.

farnarkel (v.) / ˈfɑːnɑːkəl / : to give the appearance of being incredibly productive while in fact doing absolutely nothing.

I am most excellent at farnarkeling in the workplace.

Had a bad mental health day, so going to watch my favourite TNG episode: Starship Mine. It makes me laugh every time... Space barnacles!!

I swear my air conditioning hasn't been switched off all week. The boys at the power plant are working overtime. 🏭 Keep shovelling, boys!

I cut my finger pushing an ibuprofen tablet out of a blister pack. Not sure if that is irony or not. Regardless, didn't get hit by a bus today so all things considered I have very little to complain about.

Dear Dictionarians: "Refail(ure)" should be a word. Saying, "it failed again" or "repeatedly failed" is crazy. Stop adding shitty slang each year and let me use "refailure". That is all. Have a great weekend. 💃🏼

Flo has informed me that my snatch is very smooth. Well really she sounded more like "whr snrtch rs rury smrv", but I got the idea. Hairless pussy life. 💦

I watched Dick Tracy last night for the first time. Did... do people like this movie!?

Get your hands off me I'm a senator's wife!

In news that will delight my enemies, I believe there’s a good chance I’ll die young by being accidentally kicked in the head during an orgy.

I keep walking around singing the five bars of the Pluribus theme, over and over. It makes me happy. I think I'm glued. 🤷🏼‍♀️

Happy New Year, Australian Eastern Seaboard! (Not you, Queensland) <dancing the night away with DJ Data>

enjoy DJ Data & Geordi La Forge performing S3RL's "Bass Slut" chorus to bring in the new year. ⚠️CW: Lots of flashing lights and explicit lyrics. this is what happens when I have too much free time. live long and happy new year, followers! 🖖

When something doesn't scan at the "self serve" checkout, it's free after the third failed attempt. Just toss it in your bag. Fuck 'em.

I have a garage. That eat meant to say I have a headache but sirocco knows better. That was meant to day I have a gestate but autocorrelation knows better. Ah fuck why do I even try. God damn cellular fucking phones. 📱💥

People on my stream telling me how to fly a plane when I'm flying (just fine I might add, thank you!) and they're just sitting around bitching about how they'd do it. I'm turning on shield mode. Streaming with chat just makes me hate humans. Watch in silence or piss off.

You'll all be very pleased to know my parcel has been delivered. "Mail on a Sunday?!"

"Fuck me sideways" and "fuck me running" might also be causing confusion...

"What would you say is your best trait?" Me: My best trait is I say "oops" before I do the thing. Gives people warning of impending stupid. "Um, ok what would you say is your worst trait then?" Me: Oops! ... Me: These are stupid fucking questions. [Have I mentioned I don't interview well?]

Car drivers trying to keep up with a bicycle in the city.

I got to stop using the term, "fuck me dead", as it's been pointed out to me that nobody outside Australia and New Zealand understands it's a term of exasperation, not a request. Fuck me dead what a pain in the ass global culture is.

A girl's desktop. 🖥️

Explain your username: My name is Dasha Sierra. So my username is Dasha Sierra.

Unfortunately I can no longer see naughty stuff on bsky because they want me to verify my age by providing passport and face recognition to Epic Games, which I refuse to do. Sorry sex workers, bsky has removed all of you from my feed and I cannot restore it.

Stop painting your commercial carrier airplanes white please! It's so damn boring. KLM has the right idea. The world is so black/grey/white now (thanks, Tesla), I want vehicles with colour. Pretty small complaint to have considering the state of the world, I suppose! Resume your doom scrolling.

Australians are such bicycle haters that it bemuses me. In the USA, ebikes are limited to 20mph (32kph) with 750W power. In Australia, the limit is 15mph (25kph) and 250W, and yet Australians bitch non stop about ebikes being too fast. 🤣 Australia, you're fucking weak. Into the bin with you. 🚮

Explosions at work? Someone elses problem! See you next year!