I get to go to this next week. Can’t wait, much fun

So I do movie reviews on this radio station but I don’t watch the movie and instead I threaten my enemies Alec Baldwin, David Arquette and Sammy Guevara (it’s funny)

Wish I didn’t have to do this to everybody but I gotta send out a big fuck you to all y’all

okay. I was unexpectedly offered a 11/19 date for an orchiectomy, and I am taking it — who knows what the future of trans medicine holds! It’s more expensive than I thought it would be, so I am asking for some help. gofund.me/1201fa90

I am seeing more and more opinions bubbling up about how throwing trans people to the wolves would be a winning strategy for Democrats, and I just want to quickly say: Fuck off with that absolute dog shit.

You can’t campaign at a polling place but there’s no rule against getting a cooler and camping chairs to sit in front of a polling place and clap when people come out

Does Mr Bean own this bar or just go there? @babyshoes4cash.com

Hell yeah McDonald’s, welcome to the revolution

I got on Cameo yesterday and asked British people to say very dumb things for a podcast, but I think I picked the wrong day to disparage the monarchy because none of them will do it

R Rated Drama Mr Bean Donald Sutherland: you’re unpredictable and determined but you’re not strong. Do you really love me? Mr Bean: Hrrgghm. His hand is stuck in a teapot DS: we would be alright if there hadn’t been any mess Mr Bean’s waves his teapot hand DS: I don’t know who you are anymo

R-rated Mr Bean in drama Mr Bean on phone: Hrrg Wife: I’m leaving you Mr Bean: Hrr? Wife: here’s the bank card, the keys, I’ve paid the bills. Mr Bean: Hrrg Wife: no I have to leave now or I’ll never have the strength Mr Bean grabs her bags, she pulls away and stumbles back, knocking the baby

I would put R-Rated Mr Bean in a bleak melodrama Beleaguered wife: you are selfish, just like your father Mr Bean: Hrrdg Wife: I didn’t say you are him, you’re acting like him Mr Bean: Hrmmm wife: My mother? I am nothing like her! How dare you. You just need a mother to clean up turkey on your

Me and my wife watching a a Chevy Chase movie from the 80s: Me: my dad thought Chevy was so funny and he turned out to be such a dick Her: Chevy Chase or your dad? Me: both

Watching Christmas Vacation, the most unrealistic part in 2023 is the existence of a “Christmas bonus.” Huh?

I am still on facebook and x, but I’m glad to be here, the one place going absolutely wild tonight. Rest in piss, sir

I tried warning him. I said “Henry, you’re much too old to take a Pedigree from Triple H.” But he wouldn’t listen. The man was just too committed to sports entertainment

Wish this man was here for the party.

Merry Christmas to all Henry Kissinger is dead!

I just saw an old lady set off the alarm when leaving the grocery store. She stopped and I said “just keep going”. She might have thought I was an employee but actually a stealing enthusiast

these are all actual headlines from the washington post. you can literally track the rightwing ideological shift over time towards supporting billionaires & transphobia.

I’m trying to find a trippy old MTV commercial from the 80s and maybe if I describe it, it can be your problem too

Agree!

A new show with Matt Barry and Richard Ayoade? Oh boy! But it’s written by Dan Harmon? Oh no!

AI content just keeps getting better youtu.be/zg0QyAqmZvs