Desperate times call for desperate measures ((calling the bodega to see if they’ll deliver a vape to me))

I forgot that my gaming pc is literally meant for sick days

I luv u modern medicine.

Woke up sick woke up hungover woke up to a uti 😍😎🥰

No 1 warns u for all the thirsty ass cheek kisses u get when ur literally just a lil guy at the bar saying hi

rrrrrrrrrrrrröch

NORMALIZE NAPS DURING THE WORK DAY

Salad for breakfast is rly growing on me tbh

Hey *tags mgr* do u mind if i take a nap rly quick I’ll be back online in like an hour or 2

HALAL FOOD TRUCK BADDIE by ARMANA KHAN on #SoundCloud on.soundcloud.com/4wuZrLUcVuOT...

“Just 1 drink tho but yeah I’m down”

Armana Khan I luv u.

Spicy Sunday Morning Takes ft me

Hot take you can never consider yourself an ally I don’t give a fuck how many gold stars you’ve gotten from other bitches if I haven’t greenlit you then you’re not my fucking ally

Hot take if you keep fucking up people’s pronouns because “they/them is hard to remember” then don’t fucking show up to the queer singles mixer

They should invent uhhhhhhhh

Hot lettuce

New phrenology just dropped.

“[This person] can’t even speak English. What the fuck” - my manager lmao 👍

Just stepped out into the sun for the first time in 7 or 8 days ama

Eating salad in front others is always a humble reminder that idk how to eat like a regular person

“Do u want me to work overtime this week” “Actually yes I’m gonna get approval for our whole team to work more time this week” Ok.

New day same shit 🫩

being smart doesnt pay, doesnt help, etc

Damn dude I really forgot how tiring it is to do capitalism like 10 hours a day

Mamdani has now gotten more votes than 1/4 of the members of the United States Senate did when they got elected. The political power being channeled here is immense.

2026 Primary Woke Wave

ALHUMDOLILLAH

Mamdani baby boom next summer

MASHALLAH dick cheney dead the day Zohran is about to get elected INSHALLAH

MASHALLAH dick cheney dead the day Zohran is about to get elected INSHALLAH

Every day I have to hear about some asshole

Cerebral aneurysm.

Can u bitches stop interrupting each other I am literally so fucking tired

Can u bitches PLEASE abide by the fucking agenda oh my god I am so fucking tired

Can u bitches pls abide by the calendar im fucking tired

Girl went almost 1 hour over this scheduled 30 minute meeting and does not stop yapping girl shut the FUCK up this entire hour and a half could’ve been a dm Jesus Christ

You’re in bed with the life of your life, I’m deciding whether it’s ok or disgusting to wear this hoodie a 4th day in a row. We are not the same

You’re in bed with the love of your life, I’m trying to manually stimulate this sneeze so I can think straight. We are not the same

Daylight savings is about to fr*ck me up bc wdym it’s not even 7 and it’s dark out and I’m ready to go to bed

bro biologists won't even agree on the definition of "alive" you think you can get them to back you on "two genders" lmao

Cannot believe thick and chunky salsa is real like that’s the peak of humanity methinks

Suffering.

Also lowk im p sure this lead designer hates me so

Imposter syndrome has me in a mf chokehold how do I HELP MYSELF

Day 3 at work kicking my ass

I’m so SCARED how did I forget how to DESIGN

I hope this email kill u, Thanks,