Please don't use the acronym "IDFK" because the IDF are not "K"

slurs for trans people are so fuckin mid honestly! like "oh no you australianized the word trans, im shaking in my boots

RFK is creating a Voltron creature with the head of a whale, the body of a bear and the penis of a raccoon.

WAKE UP LIBTARD! SNORT THAT AVOCADO OFF YOUR TOAST AND PULL YOURSELF UP BY YOUR BOOBSTRAPS!

oh shit they brought back YouTube messages!

WHAT THE FUCK MY TODDLER ALMOST CHOCKED TO DEATH!!!! HOW THE FUCK WAS I SUPPOSED TO KNOW THAT THERE WOULD BE A WOODEN BALL INSIDE THE AVOCADO!???

"cross your heart and hope to die" well... I do one of these pretty consistently at least so that's something.

i suck dick at sucking dick i don't give a fuck about giving a fuck

how the fuck do crows remember a person's face for over 5 years? i know i can't

Benjamin Netanyaoi

fun fact: people who yodel often enjoy yodeling

Fun Fact: if you make out with a sick person for less than ten seconds you won't get sick. you thought the ten second rule only applied to food?

Fun fact: if you can't afford antibiotics try drinking soapy water.

why is girlcock funny but boycunt isn't?

im not very good at sex or kissing or flirting or communicating in general but im very good at giving hickeys!

remember that weird time when the world's first trillionaire said that the president of the United states was affiliated with the most notorious pedophile in the world?

okay so... there's brunette, blonde and ginger... but what do you call someone with black hair?

I'm from Connecticut the way I got that Cunt Etiquette

I'm attractosexual, that means I'm attracted to people I find attractive?

perchance i am foolish but does blocking traffic protests ACTUALLY change anyone's mind? me personally i would take the opposite opinion of people who made my commute miserable.

this girl is asking me what flavor my mouth is bruh

I'm like midas, everything I touch turns to femboys!

yk everyone talks shit about the Rock playing the same character all the time but you know who commits the same crime but worse? Jason Statham. and he never gets any shit for it.

I'm gonna make you squirm till ya squirt.

It's Adam and Eve, not Sodom and Steve!

dear dairy, i committed a roadkill today poor tumbleweed never saw it coming.

i be saying kia sorento like 🎵Jason Derulo🎵

using Twitter is so bad for my mental health gosh damn. I get more traction here anyways. (pretend I said something funny)

hear me out. 2,977 it's 66 away from 2,911 1 and 7 look very similar in some fonts and if you minus 910 from 2,911 you get 2001. as we all know 66 is clearly an allusion to order 66 in which the clone army executed the Jedi. which is exactly what 9/11 did. take the lives of many first responders.

*dicks cockingly*

transphobes are like armpits their opinions are not important.

all chefs should be at least moderately fat.

that dih dih is my din din

Donkey Kong Teeth in flux

my political stance resides somewhere between Mamdani and Mangione

the term chud totally mogs the term tankie

love is everywhere around you you just have to believe

happy Mommy's day, and for all my men out there, you're pregnant now. happy mother's day to you too.

i dunno what an Androphobe is.. but if it's Andro Jackson, I'm definitely an Androphobe.

Apostasy? I would totally jump in.

Five Hundred Drunk Cigarettes

not even the sour patch kids are safe

naw y'all, the senior homes be bumpin Hamilton!

wdym you do Pilates?? isn't that the guy that killed Jesus?

ragebaiting my puppygirl gf by meowing at her

my love for you is deeper than any penis could penetrate

2 Worlds, 1 Cup.

say what you will about penis, but you can't stack donuts on a pussy

rat themed panties that make my dick look like a rat

blootzt