get you a partner that will sign joppa road to you when you are having a sad.

I'm dying over Smitten Kitten (a sex shoppe) having to basically be like, "Google is lying about us having a glory hole." www.instagram.com/reel/DPACIxZ...

someone on reddit said they think phish are out of ideas for halloween and for 8 i was in the lamb lies down campground so all i can think is they have a whole canned list of things they'd like to do. and when have they ever been out of ideas?!

what if we kissed on the pretty freight machine

at the third bonnaroo primus scared me and i went to ween and it was such a better scene. the only thing i remember about their set was 1) not feeling like claypool was trying to destroy my psyche and 2) there was a crowdsurfing blowup fuckdoll

did you know if you (i) am having a panic attack you can put this song on and instead of freaking out i will escape to the safe lil swamp inside my brain. this song is like ocean man is holding my hand.

WAIT. STOP. WHY DIDN'T ANY OF YOU TELL ME?!

IT WAS FUCKING GREAT

gas was a dollar or less the entirety of my teen driving years. once there was a gas war here and it got down to $.48 a gallon briefly in the late nineties?

i've been complaining all day about how the elixir of life feels escaping my body. it feels just how you think it would when you lose all your life giving mana. so hungry and angry, so empty and sad, so tired and drained. so like *redacteding* a man.

haha

the elixir of life

pls help my friend who deserves all of this esp the spa day. i would give it all to her if i could!

if you're in my inner circle you *may* understand why this is super relevant today

please do what you can!

it'd be kinda sweet if jesus to came back and to off about how he loves whores and these fucksticks are wrong about it all tbh.

Hahahahaha

Are you there, Rapture? It’s me, Matt.

what time is the rapture? did we survive or is this hell?

I know the #rapture is coming because "Gwar crossed a major line."

Tried to get my real ID. I had my license, my SS card and my birth certificate. I was not allowed to get my real ID because my birth name is different than my married name. Now I have to go dig up a marriage certificate. You know who wouldn’t have to do this? A man. Never change your last name.

look i actually agree with the president about Tylenol which is why when i become president we are making Dilaudid available OTC

No matter how well we think we know dinosaurs, there's so much left to learn. New blog from me about Spicomellus, a dinosaur that knew spiked collars are hot. 🧪

quick, i need $125!!

no, but i bet we could convince them with zines or something hahaha. what you're going to need, kids, is two 5 gallon water jugs...

when a big account notices your comment

The article, despite quoting police, neglects to mention what seems like an important detail about who operates that gun range

all tits are art, bluesky, calm yours.

working on my

it's a movement

oh no, the dreaded brown note?

me, to babies, all of the time

page has at least 10x as much money as me (LMAFO) so i am out of control with my 4 tbh

it's called autism, beau, look it up.

reading is bad, mkay?

Bluesky is like if the world was divided into people who are silly and the literal silly police

bluesky stop making rules and fix the mutes challenge

sometimes i go a lil wild for spooky food. here is a thread of my best original ideas and recreations.

You cannot create a bread and circus society and then yank the bread AND the circus Yall gon learn

Jimmy Kimmel is such a funny load-bearing figure of the American experiment

where i live, they're organizing against TJMAXX because two workers acknowledged that it happened and that kirk was essentially progun violence. this makes me wonder if it even happened.

i feel like you sickos (complimentary) already know about this and i was oblivious (as usual) but just in case you don't know, now you do.

nina simone doing to love somebody is a fucking gift

nina simone doing to love somebody is a fucking gift

if you don't have your gluten free menu online i probably won't go to your restaurant even if you have gluten free food.

Know anybody in OKC who could help?

What's up? Bee butt! My partner has been watching this little Certina carpenter bee, which has excavated a little hole in an old Joy Pye weed stem. It seems to just be sleeping in there, not building a nest, the excavation is only slightly more than body length. #invertebrate

If you’re a local reporter and want some inside baseball on what Minneapolis is saying to East Lake businesses and community (including the church nearby) about their “outreach” in the Lake and 28th encampment, I have sources for you.

also @luckymud.blackskycomra.de: i am trying to break your heart. www.youtube.com/watch?v=Xi0y...