Crazy that James Comey wrote "I love doing perjury" on all of his ammo before his testimony.

"Stop saying women and blacks are 'people' and nazis will stop killing everyone. It's called compromise. There is no higher calling than appeasing nazis. The human mind can't comprehend how wide I am willing to spread my asscheeks for fascists." - Bill Maher, Genius Goodbrain Intellectual

i think about this post every time i watch a movie

I'm not autistic, I'm Tylenol coded. I'm vax maxing on that assedamedawellletsseehowwesaythat grindset.

They're married

someone on here the other day said it feels like we’re watching a baseball game where one team decides every inning to not take their turn at bat

Thinking of primarying my extremely dorky representative.

You all laugh, but I come from a Naproxen household and I don't give a shit about Sonic the Hedgehog

Milktits is asking for a bribe from FIFA. Everything is already booked and it would cost a fortune to change it now. Just call it what it is. Diaper Don is asking for a bribe.

To recap: Honky went to Honky U. and got shot by a Honky. MAGA went full racist and the media blamed leftists for the murder. Honkies went to an HBCU and everyone made fun of them until they left in tears. MAGA went full racist and the media is framing it as if leftists murdered them.

Authority is a concept invented by sociopaths and believed in by morons, wherein useless people who are always in the way get to feel important, to every intelligent person's detriment.

Not one person on earth called an escalator working normally being the thing that kicked Charlie Kirk out of the headlines. The writers of this season are on fire.

"This living person replying to me is DEFINITELY the dead guy" -- the incredible braintrust of MAGA

Unpopular opinion: Americans are so up their own asses with the rugged individuality baked in, whether we know it or not, that therapy is pointless and become weaponized. I'm watching another friend go through a breakup where the cheater is the victim because "they have trauma" and how dare YOU

Newsmax’s words, not mine.

Let's be real here, if the rapture happened it would be all the manatees, 99.9% of dogs, and like 5 humans.

Too late, Batman. Once this Tylenol floods the city's water supply, my wiki won't run out of editors ever again

The American flags tossed on the ground as trash outside the Chuck E. Kirk memorial is such an amazing metaphor

If Tylenol makes you autistic then explain how I'm a naproxen guy posting about LEGO on BlueSky.

I saw Antifa training for double tap headshots at my gun range His hair was perfect

Here's a hot take that's 100% true, and the libs and MAGA hogs are both too cowardly to admit: Republicans turned performative mourning of a dead podcast dipshit into WrestleMania for dweebs in cheap suits. Charlie Kirk's funeral was way, WAY funnier than anything Jimmy Kimmel ever did.

Seeing people who are just not wired for anything but rage and schadenfreude try to figure out the performance of grief is genuinely anthropologically fascinating

Imagine if this dude was this fucking funny and disrespectful to fascists but it was intentional.

It rules that the new and improved republican party is comprised entirely of extremely dweeby theater kids who try to sound like Hanna-Barbera villains.

What idiot called it "Charlie Kirk's Funeral" instead of The Gathering of the Jugulars

Sheep cheese. Ewe'll love it.

Perfect. No notes.

I've seen a lot of videos lately of women that are peacefully protesting being violently thrown to the ground by angry men dressed in tactical gear with big guns. It's disgusting and jarring, but can I also point out that the women aren't the ones that look weak or scared.

The main takeaway here is the tiny manlet walked past all the men in the crowd to assault the tiniest woman there Republicans respect weak, cowardly, dickless men cosplaying as tough guys Their president is a fussy, bitchy primadonna Manhattan socialite gossip queen Their heroes are actors

So, to be clear, the democrat leadership is capitulating to a MegaPedo who is universally reviled and is underwater amongst even the people who voted for him They're looking at the weakest, most wounded deer in the herd and saying "nah, we probably can't catch it, let's eat worms and bugs instead"

there’s no real point to “dems suck” posts anymore once they hit the point of voting for charlie kirk remembrance day. That’s the end of the game and now you start over with new game plus and everything unlocked. It’s 2007 and you’re about to tell politico Hillary Clinton had slaves

Just me not giving a heck 😈

As a fan of just saying shit with smart words, this guy gets it.

The Grift is neverending

When you tell your crush how you feel and she replies "omg you're so funny" and you have to send that "haha" message

New conspiracy theory: There are no "lottery winners" Like we've heard about a guy winning a million and he blew it all, but what about these people who win 400 million? You're telling me every winner was an extremely private, behind the scenes, investment savant? Not one idiot crashed out?

In light of the Jimmy Kimmel news, I'd like to report that this declaration is my second favorite thing to see coming out of Charlie Kirk's throat:

Really can't stress how funny it is that the far left is the last man standing on actually caring about first amendment rights

im proud to announce my new “center-left” super pac called The Reasonability Center we are focusing on 3 simple truths - socialism 👎 - lgbt 👎 - exxon/mobil 👍

They should prop up Charlie Kirk's corpse in a field and whoever made the funniest jokes about him gets to use the Jesse Ventura minigun from Predator on him.

Just going to throw it out there: Charlie Kirk's widow is an extremely fraudulent grifter that was very correct in not giving a shit about her dumb dead fraudulent grifter husband.

Daily reminder to my foreign followers that the reason everything in America is so weird and makes no sense is because our cops are illiterate high school dropouts and every step of our government's hierarchy just gets dumber as you go up.

I haven't checked in on republicans in the last week or so. Are they still bragging about how nothing offends them?

Good afternoon to my followers and mutuals and federal agents investigating me for unpartylike wrongthink. Here's some content.

TN is home to several car companies and construction equipment companies where most of the management is from Korea / Japan / Germany / Italy, etc It's going to be fun watching Marsha "I'm why the opioid epidemic exists" Blackburn run for governor in a state that has completely collapsed.

The funniest thing about MAGA, and Charlie Kirk being dead, is that the idiots who are mad about Chuckles bursting like a water balloon were just as mad about that 70 hours where the Cracker Barrel logo was changed. They bitch so much their outrage is meaningless. It's literally white noise.

The coin of Fate has two sides: “dudes rock” and “tragedy ensued”.