My 6 year old has recently gotten into creating many signs to hang on his door and the basement to indicate who is/is not allowed. This is the best one yet.

I ran a 5k (my fastest ever), which was my first race in 2+ years and the first one since being diagnosed with lupus in March 2024. I went from feeling like I had been beaten all over with a baseball bat every day to mostly being a normal person again this year. Thanks, science!

I’m at the Container Store again

Now that I fully accept and embrace my coffee snobbery, I can tell you my 100% accurate method to pre-judge if a coffee shop sucks. Look for these two pieces of concrete evidence: 1. Torani syrups 2. Pastries (mostly breads) individually wrapped in plastic wrap I ignored this and am now sad.

In theory this week off work is peaceful, relaxing, free In reality this week off work is like someone is inside my brain throwing flaming darts around while playing Kidz Bob trap music from a scratched CD

Bills doing Broncos shit right now

I’m at the Container Store in the post-holiday emotional crash and I’ve got adult money. Brace yourselves.

I am a New York Jets super fan, always have been

SUUUUUCK AN ENTIRE DICK #CHIEFSKINGDOM

Just clocked about 7 different Jesus artifacts in the house of my kid’s new friend

The cool mom who had no problem with all the toys and shit strewn about everywhere yesterday has left the fuckin building. Christmas magic is over bitches.

The thing about these Denver Broncos is that they can beat anyone but also lose to anyone.

Merry Christmas you dumb Missouri losers

Travis Kelce will probably not end up with CTE because you need more than 2 brain cells for that condition to afflict you. Congrat’s to him

I wouldn’t let Harrison Butker in my house even if he was growing on my ass

To get your mind off the Broncos game take a look at some of the carbs I made tonight

After watching the Elway documentary this week, it’s absolutely amusing to compare the uniforms of today to the Dwight Schrute sleeves they used to wear back in the day

The only thing worse than garbage football is festive garbage football

I may just be staying awake to eat some halftime cheesecake and then going into a coma

If you eat Thanksgiving food on Christmas you ski in jeans

Christmas. Shorts. 🔥

Also, Merry Christmas

Yeah Christmas gifts are cool but nothing beats the gift I give myself of never setting foot into Mass ever again ✨✨

It’s game day, bitchachos. #BroncosCountry

I am never more insecure and incapable than when I am at the meat counter trying to purchase the right kind/amount of beef. In related news, we’ll have 3x the amount of prime rib we need tomorrow if anyone is hungry 😮‍💨

Cried so many different tears while watching the Elway documentary. I felt transported back in time to my childhood when I watched it all unfold in real life. It made me miss my family that doesn’t exist anymore. John Elway shaped Denver and Denver shaped me. Life as I know it is because of him.

I had to go down to Park Meadows to pick up some Christmas stuff. I discovered that while I tend to complain about living among the city snobs of Cherry Creek, they’re actually much more tolerable than the suburbia snobs of Lone Tree.

Why can this old fart still ball

Logged into my Twitter account to look up an old tweet and saw that I still have men who I have never met talking to themselves in my DMs

Maybe it’s my SSRI talking but I’m way less enraged by that loss than I was for pretty much any game post SB 50 to 2023.

Well that sucked but maybe this will be humbling for them

If this game continues on this path I think it means that @sackor.bsky.social and I can never sit together again, sadly

Send Ts and Ps

Trevor Lawrence ragdoll core

I don’t want to talk about it but I have truly ever recovered from the Mark Brunell Jacksonville Jaguars playoff trauma of the 1996 season. I was in the 7th grade and went into my room and sobbed for the rest of the night.

Sometimes you make a pancake that reminds you what it’s all about

It’s game day, bitchachos. #BroncosCountry

Austin is absolutely convinced that Santa will bring him a McLaren go-kart this Christmas and I have to decide between figuring that out to keep the Christmas magic alive or formally introduce him to the black hole of despair that is life. Pros and cons on each side.

Since we couldn’t eat at Carne due to the blackout, we came home and got delivery from one of our favorite neighborhood places, Yahya’s. If you’re not eating Yahya’s, you’re wrong and sad.

Oh you didn’t get caught in a pitch black bathroom in RiNo during the great December blackout of 2025? Can’t relate

The 10 day forecast says it’s going to be 62 degrees in Denver on Christmas Day. While I hate that, I’m absolutely going to enjoy it.

I got my Over Dogs tshirt, did you? All proceeds go to the Denver Rescue Mission. shopbonix.com?fbclid=PAZnR...

What a day

Not only do Broncos fans get to leave this game proud of our team, but we’re also not wearing blocks of cheese on our heads

I am having a good time at the Denver Broncos football game today

Old Man vs the SEA

Mahomes injury 100% a performance from a diva who did not want to be on the field to lose that game or play another losery snap this season

Lots of Packers fans here at the game today. The cheese farts will be abundant.