Brillant game of fitba

The wonderful thing about Scott McTominay is everything he does now is also a fuck you to Man United

Denmark must be going "what the fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck"

Someone finally posted a meme that broke the internet.

At least we all got some free protons this week. Something to feel positive about.

HOLY FUCKING SHIT YOU ARE ALL OUT OF YOUR MIND* *pls imagine me posting this 4 times a day for the next 3 years. Saves me writing it and you reading it. You can assume that is my opinion on 90% of the news.*/

Saw some coleslaw in the fridge that it was 1 day past it's sell by date so like a trooper I ate the whole tub. Only after this food waste punishment snack did I see the date was actually 18 Nov not 13 Nov. FML ffs

I'm here to remind you of the cross eyed bear that you gave to me

Ffs ffs saw these on my home. What do you think the fox silhouette is trying to say?

This is a beautiful story about Cristiano Ronaldo and the world coming together as one ❤️ 🌎

Cristiano Ronaldo sent packing. For an underwear model he pisses his pants a lot.

Ronaldo booked for being a cheating dickhead. Should be sent off. Dirty clingfilm face bastard.

There won't be a cow milked in Alkmaar tonight #Troy #IRLPOR

A Parrott hat-trick against Portugal would really put the name Troy in the history books #irlpor

Ireland 2 Portugal 0 Fuck You Ronaldo Fuck You Bruno UP THE PARROTT!

UP THE PARROTT!!

Stealth international break the conniving snakes

Sometimes I think about mixing two tins of soup to make a soup cocktail. Oxtail + Mushroom maybe. Or Pea & Ham + Brocolli & Stilton. But it feels kinda risky.

Went for a medicinal sunbed and when undressing I noticed my socks were a bit sweaty so took them in with me. Dried them out lovely it did!

That Newcastle United colour combo is an abomination.

Biggest ever win vs Bournemouth.

You're welcome robots.net/tech/how-to-...

First stint with us he was Toss Barkley now he's Boss Barkley

Thank you Onana. Manager of the Month award for me.

bet Unai is licking his lips at the thought of having an extra sub

just put in the net! stop Wengering!

How the fuck do you get from qualifying for Europe to Sean Dyche as manager in the space of 10 league games?

The annual harvest for Michael Fabricant’s hair has just begun in Gloucestershire today.

Love it!

Up The Qarabag! Penalty to the Qs!!! Hope the Azeris can do them!

Funny old game, football 🤯

"give it Matty Cash" is my surprising new motto

Laurence Fox wrote a song about Charlie Kirk, and this is the only comment on it.

In recognition of Pep's denunciation of the Daily Mail I will not say anything mean about him for (checks fixture list)... 24 hours.

Ready for the trick or treaters 🎃👻

Lots of spooky goings on. Multiple sightings of the ghost of relegation at Molineux

In the same way, I don’t think it’s a coincidence that a massive, roaring backlash against Woke exploded out of the American squillionaire class, at the exact same time that lots of women started using social media to talk publicly about the very wealthy men who harassed and assaulted them.

Fun Fact: Torres v Nakamba With his next Premier League appearance for Aston Villa, Pau Torres will draw level with Marvelous Nakamba. (Tommy Johnson will too if he can pass a fitness test.)

you'd lose the ball every time Bruno Fernandes takes a penalty

I spent more than 200 quid on a chair and nobody put me in the newspaper ffs

Interesting. Very interesting.

After that Haaland had more touches of his own balls than the match ball.

I hear the future talking to me. It's saying "Emi Martinez booked for time wasting."

That goals was coming last 5 minutes too. Keep at it!

MATTY CASH FOR PRIME MINISTER!

Now I’m craving fried chicken.

Never seen a dog in witness protection before