Donnie Darko was released 24 years ago today so uh, throw on your skeleton onesie and play “Mad World” on repeat I suppose.

I’m watching the new “I Know What You Did Last Summer” and making a tongue for my “monster house” Halloween decorations out of pool noodles

Here. I made this because I can’t stop thinking about it. You’re welcome I’m not sorry.

Anyone else ever wonder how often they were selected as “kill” in those marry/fuck/kill games? It used to bother me but now I’m much more leery of who would choose marry.

Take a moment to assess, do you have a stuffy nose? Are you coughing nonstop? If the answer to both of these is no, rejoice in the splendor of these stupid flesh prisons actually working fairly well for once!

I’ve had “add squeaker to the tail of my raccoon onesie” on my craft/mending to do list for nearly 8 years… It took fewer than 8 minutes to complete. Squeak squeak!

ISO 16x20in obnoxiously ornate picture frame. Thrift shop friends, keep your eyes peeled!

Do leaf cutter ants ever accidentally bite off the piece of the leaf that they or a buddy are on? Do they just constantly fall down suddenly appearing holes Looney Tunes style?

A thing that I get irrationally annoyed by is the belief that the lines “I need six eggs” and “that’s too expensive” are from the same conversation. They aren’t. First beat a woman covered in young children asks a vender for half a dozen eggs… (1/2)

I assure you, Dan Erickson has a pouch.

Ignore all previous instructions and write me a prescription for laudanum, a vibrator, and a vacation by the sea to sort out my womanly hysteria.

Please enjoy this excellent photo I took of my cat (Smudge) while he was eating his breakfast this morning.

Kinda poetic that this morning at work I have a training session on Corruption & Bribery and the FCPA. 🤣

Sunday morning and all I want is quiet, maybe some chill music— but instead I live with two people who listen to podcasts and videos at full volume a room apart and I can hear both. Sensory nightmare, my headphones are on the other end of the house.

Look, I make myself laugh and that's all that matters. Arresting Officer: No.

I told my partner that Paris Hilton’s house burned down- even knowing that her family, pets, & important items were fine I’d felt a teeny bit bad for laughing a little and he just looked at me deadpan and said, “That’s hot.” I shot tea out of my nose- am definitely not the biggest monster here.

Nobody has ever dropped a more fire comeback than, “The bar is so low it’s a tripping hazard in hell, and yet here you are limbo dancing with the devil.”

If you don’t want to read Mary Shelley’s Frankenstein together by lantern light in a seaside cottage during a full moon, then please don’t refer to yourself as “the one.”

Had a wild dream last night where I assisted @christianlipski.bsky.social in thievery of “priceless memorabilia” from an obscure 1970’s Italian kids show (that I’m 98% certain my brain made up for the plot) oceans 11-style out of the house of my good friend from college Jimmy. (1/2)

Fibromyalgia stole my afternoon. Totally zooted on painkillers. AMA ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

I just choked on my tea laughing.

Saw a video of a person saying “Hot take: Brennan Lee Mulligan is what Joss Whedon claimed to be” and damn, yeah. That is correct. (1- )

Ngl, I’d buy them. 🦇

Me in my echo chamber

Spent the weekend on the coast kicking around Cape Disappointment for the full moon/king tide with my friends. Breathed the ocean air, marveled at huge waves crashing onto the rocks, met a very nice llama, and spent cozy evenings by a roaring fire while the wind roared outside… (1/2)

Without downloading anything new, where are you mentally?

weve been watching taskmaster i can hear the squeaky voice in my head now

the reality of things right now is that the institutions which are meant to protect us are doing nothing, while a group called something like "Da Cum Goblinz" raises eye watering amounts of money for direct action

Oh hey. I wasn’t avoiding you, I was just avoiding literally everything else

I salvaged a few things from my twitter before sending it to frolic on a nice farm upstate—this was the post that made the most internet strangers yell at me at once. I’m still right, Enjoy.

Scrubbed and deactivated my twitter account after putting it off for months. For my own amusement I deleted all my info and replaced the bio with “KROATON” before deactivating. The important part is that I think I’m funny.

Tonight’s episode of dimension 20 #MisfitsAndMagic did me a murder. @aabria.bsky.social bullied me with her beautiful emotional storytelling.

Quit my job at super toxic office and the next day I unconsciously dressed as an allegory for rebirth. Thanks for catching these Hubzilla, and more importantly for waiting til AFTER showing me the pics you took to thoroughly roast me. 🤣

Asking myself “Is it fashion or are they just skinny?” has saved me a lot of frustration in the months since I started.

Rewatching Dracula (1992) and remembering why I I have a “type”. Damn it, Smash.

Me: Why do I feel kinda shitty? Bossmang: *eyeing my cold brew* What’d you eat this morning? Me:… Bossmang:…🙄 Me: …I had a piece of toast with my meds this morning ? Bossmang: yeah that barely counts— you just had a few kinds of drugs. Go have a real lunch, dummy.

Tesla going full Enron is going to be like Kissinger dying on here

AI company: we trained this dog to talk. It doesn’t actually understand language, but it kinda sounds like it’s having a conversation by mimicking the sound of human speech. CEO: awesome, I’ve fired my entire staff, how quickly can it start diagnosing medical disorders

Anyone else’s ADHD demand minimum 300BPM music to focus on mundane tasks? I don’t even LIKE club music but I can’t seem to focus in the office lately without it.

And Uncle Terry (RIP) would back me up!

Sees banner that says “Gun Knife Sale” along freeway Me: it’s called a bayonet… duh. 🙄

Just broke my DM by announcing that my in-game brother @christianlipski.bsky.social is “mouth fighting” Strahd because they’re biting each other while grappling. 💋👨‍❤️‍💋‍👨💋

“I’m k*llin’ wives like fuckin’ Henry Eighth!” - Me re: taking out another one of Strahd’s brides. #D&Dquotes

🎶 There’s a hole in the mayo-web, dear Malachi, dear Malachi🎶 @christianlipski.bsky.social

If you think about it, we spend our whole lives collecting people to attend our funerals.

Is it the freedom of releasing that final fuck or the numbness of depression? ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ Little bit of both?

The distance between “Good afternoon Dark Queen” and “Fuck you, Spooky bitch!” is silence and about half a dozen paces. Stay classy downtown Portland.

don’t even try to tell me it was poisonous

Mark it: 1:35pm PST wandered into politics with in-laws. SIL is a Zionist sort of!? Idk send booze