"I gingerly placed the Grinch’s head into my hot milk. And then, nothing. 'Thought it would be more bomby,' I uttered to no one. I had to poke it for half a minute before anything happened."

I’m so pumped to have my first solo piece in @mcsweeneys.net today!! It’s a New Food review and it’s a wild ride. Thank you to @lukevburns.bsky.social and everyone in his class for helping me make it so great. Read it here! www.mcsweeneys.net/articles/wil...

I don’t appreciate when it’s December 16 and an email will be like “Need a last-minute gift?” Last min for what, the SEVENTEENTH OF DECEMBER??!!

I’m begging everyone to learn abbreviations bc sometimes people with disabilities need them to keep up, otherwise we’re crying (we’re prob still gonna cry) TYSM ILY

A new ep of The Editrix is up now! Join us as we talk about getting books published with @jennieegerdie.bsky.social while we laugh our Tetons off. Watch here or listen wherever you get your ‘casts!! youtu.be/1m_Cbao89bk?...

It’s downright insulting that it’s sunny in Chicago today

BRB - Live Microsoft Teamsing my mandatory work security training

You should get a little reward if you stay up to watch SNL actually live

Can we take a moment for jeans? Those guys have stood the test of time. Shout out to jeans

Check out my new personal essay with the dazzling Jenny Mag! jennymag.com/2025/12/04/p...

My boss just cancelled a one on one meeting

The last newsletter of 2025 is fresh off the presses. Read it and subscribe! thebelladonnacomedy.com/a-december-t...

This is my year 🤞🏻

If a business is advertised at a freeway exit, and then it ends up being more than one mile away, the whole town should go straight to jail

Just call me the sun because I am going to stop working by the early afternoon

They are just gonna debut a fourth Jonas brother at the end of that movie??? Okay!

They’re playing Sarah McLachlan in this brewery and no one cares

I’m so mad my boss didn’t even take the time to wish me a Happy Honda Days

You should be able to get your Wordle streak back if you simply forget to play it

The November newsletter is here and it’s sexy. Read it and subscribe!! thebelladonnacomedy.com/the-gales-of...

Friend link here! thebelladonnacomedy.com/quiz-tesla-c...

"you have to understand: we all kinda wanted to have sex with the raisins" — me, explaining the popularity of the california raisins to my dog

Lunchin on some food 👍🏻

I was chatting with a museum docent yesterday, and within 2 minutes he told me how he got arrested for drunk driving. Okay that’s some history you won’t get reading the little plaques amirite

When someone is 4 months older than me: “They’re 4 months older than me.” When someone is 1-9 years younger than me: “We’re the same age.”

I love being a toddler because the Connections I was best at lately was all pictures

Everyone in the World Series has the craziest name I’ve ever seen

“You’re never too old to get a little spooky!” By The Belladonna Writers Full piece: thebelladonnacomedy.com/how-the-bell...

It’s happening again

If you’re a silly goose who sometimes wants to write about serious shit, check this out!

I’ve been diagnosed with moderate to severe bitchiness

This is a call-out for Halloween-themed submissions! Please ensure you qualify by reading our submission guidelines: thebelladonnacomedy.com/the-belladon... Submit to our topical email 👻[email protected]

Deeply offensive when another dog walker issues the command "leave it" as my petite angel prances by. She is not an it, you monster, she is a perfect human being!

I’m going to New York City, New York today

People’s hobbies include doing credit card fraud on me

It’s newsletter time, sweetie pies! Subscribe to keep yourself abreast of all the cool shit we are doing at The Belladonna: thebelladonnacomedy.com/newsletter

Heyyyy livestream tickets are available now!!! iframe.dacast.com/live/7e3f495...

Chicago! Come to our show! theannoyance.thundertix.com/events/253890

It’s boiling in October because you’re using ChatGPT to write your emails, Janice.

It sure was fun speaking with Owen and Quentin Reiser about “Listers,” the most entertaining birding media I’ve encountered. www.audubon.org/magazine/get...

If you've ever wanted to write short humor (in the style of Shouts or McSweeney's), this is an AWESOME place to start. I've taken at least 3-4 workshops with Luke. Giving feedback, he always knows exactly what a piece needs, and it's always a fun time with the others in the group, too. Go sign up!

I keep thinking today is Friday—anti-woman that it’s not?!

RIP The Rapture, you would have loved this broken society

I got rejected from a job that forgot a preposition in their rejection email. Coup?

If you get raptured tomorrow I just hope you have the best time

It’s true that the Walgreens jeggings are magical, true that I am tall, and true that we are like muppets. It’s all true.

LinkedIn is so interesting because it talks about work, which is so important

Chicago! It’s jeggings season!👖The editors of the Belladonna are hosting a show at the Annoyance Theater on 10/12 at 6pm CT. It will be a glorious combo of readings, stand up, sketch, and singing? Livestream tickets will also available. Stay tuned! theannoyance.thundertix.com/events/253890

Read this cool guy's profile!!