“I’m so, so sorry, but I think there’s been a huge misunderstanding.” By Emily Kapp Full piece: thebelladonnacomedy.com/sorry-about-...

“Please remember to log in your hours for eternity.” By Anupriya Pandey Full piece: thebelladonnacomedy.com/hr-policy-fo...

“There’s no support groups for victims of pant invasions.” By Denny Bold Full piece: thebelladonnacomedy.com/experiencing...

🥳🥳🥳🥳 come see us in Chicago! (Or check out the livestream via The Annoyance Theatre!)

“I glow like the inside of a gutted pumpkin right before the candle flame burns out.” By Brooke Jones Full piece: thebelladonnacomedy.com/color-analys...

“Yo mama so dumb she bought a toolkit to open up a Roth IRA.” By Jordan Lish Full piece: thebelladonnacomedy.com/yo-mama-joke...

And in case you need proof of my inspiration, I submit this:

“Have you seen a cat’s ultrasound before? Now you can!” By @kellihuggins.bsky.social Full piece: thebelladonnacomedy.com/congratulati...

“My female body, an unending vat of booby traps, acted quickly. I morphed into a trap door.” By Jessica Zander Full piece: thebelladonnacomedy.com/how-my-body-...

Chicago! It’s jeggings season!👖The editors of the Belladonna are hosting a show at the Annoyance Theater on 10/12 at 6pm CT. It will be a glorious combo of readings, stand up, sketch, and singing? Livestream tickets will also available. Stay tuned! theannoyance.thundertix.com/events/253890

Whose cheese is blue? Find out in my first piece for The Belladonna Comedy.

“Hit the road, pepper jack.” By @jennythesherman.bsky.social Full piece: thebelladonnacomedy.com/fussy-cheese...

“From corsets to Costco, the March sisters hit midlife.” By Sharda Mishra Full piece: thebelladonnacomedy.com/little-women...

“When I said these witch trials were part and parcel with a safe society, I didn’t mean my wife! Allow me to explain.” By @elizabethcutler.bsky.social Full piece: thebelladonnacomedy.com/im-cool-with...

“Arrrggh! He’ll no longer be yer matey…” By Lauren Piskothy Full piece: thebelladonnacomedy.com/using-pirate...

I have a new HUMOR piece out today. Please check it out!

“Yes, yes, this is going to be so fleeting.” By @daniellebkoenig.bsky.social Full piece: thebelladonnacomedy.com/im-a-hairdre...

“When encountered in person, their various Stanley water cups made the ideal plumage for luring middle-aged moms into a state of trust and compliance.” By Sadie Bitters Full piece: thebelladonnacomedy.com/the-great-su...

“The Summer I Turned My Closet Into A Padded Room With Pillows To Bury My Face In And Scream.” By Cal Shook Full piece: thebelladonnacomedy.com/a-list-of-20...

School picture time! Always the worst photo of my kids.

“Time to get the absolute worst photo of your kid!” By @lilyehirsch.bsky.social Full piece: thebelladonnacomedy.com/an-honest-sc...

“Higher risk or not, there is nothing ‘Geriatric’ to see here.” By @alicemphillips.bsky.social Full piece: thebelladonnacomedy.com/millennial-a...

Another hilarious piece by @alicemphillips.bsky.social, this time in @belladonnacomedy.bsky.social!

Back in @belladonnacomedy.bsky.social today with my clap-back to being called OLD at 35! Many thanks to @adamcomedy.bsky.social, @15thcgossipgirl.bsky.social, Christina Jun, and Angus Duffin for draft feedback! medium.com/thebelladonn...

“I suppose I have always had an eye for fashion.” By @stephinitelyme.bsky.social Full piece: thebelladonnacomedy.com/delusional-t...

Took me waaaaay longer than I'd like to admit to figure out how to post something on here while on a laptop. Anyway! I'm back in @belladonnacomedy.bsky.social today. Thanks for having me!

“Do you know who does a better job of singing about love and loss? Charles Manson.” By Darcy Cagen Full piece: thebelladonnacomedy.com/what-pitchfo...

“God forbid life revolve around civility.” By Anne Reiner Full piece: thebelladonnacomedy.com/are-you-in-m...

“Sometimes feedback can be a bitter pill to swallow — one that feels like it’s stuck in your throat even after it’s gone down.” By Heidi Lux Full piece: thebelladonnacomedy.com/how-to-humor...

I show up to pick up my child looking like, at best, an adult cosplay, and at worst, an extra from a movie about an insane asylum horror

We’re on a little endish-of-summer hiatus. More info here! thebelladonnacomedy.com/we-are-on-a-...

“Is that a problem?” By Madeline Hester Full piece: thebelladonnacomedy.com/im-sorry-but...

“A mock-scientific profile of a critical — but unmonetized — species adapting to a habitat designed for others.” By Sunita Chakraborty Full piece: thebelladonnacomedy.com/field-guide-...

“Aside from the 10 Commandments in Hand-Chiseled Tablet Form.” By @blythewrites.bsky.social Full piece: thebelladonnacomedy.com/items-requir...

Happy first full week of school to all who celebrate! Check out my latest piece in the @belladonnacomedy.bsky.social! #school #texaspolitics #satire #humor thebelladonnacomedy.com/items-requir...

Ok here it is, Vera Bradley did the coolest funniest ad campaign ever and let 40yo me star as my teenage self falling in love with teenage Devon Sawa, played by 46yo Devon Sawa. If you're not following that, just watch it because it's so sweet and nostalgic (and nuts) verabradley.com/pages/most-p...

If your fave houseplant is an ikea draceaena marginata, @claireluisabiz.bsky.social and I are booking a therapy session at your practice. New piece in @belladonnacomedy.bsky.social

“You stopped dyeing your hair to let your natural greys come in and now it’s strictly 25-year-olds who message you on Hinge.” By @ericaliesalot.bsky.social & @claireluisabiz.bsky.social Full piece: thebelladonnacomedy.com/what-your-fa...

Girls, we really get into it in this ep. We talk about what the bases are sexually (no one knows 2nd or 3rd), AI (and whether clank*r is an offensive word), and as always, our magical jeggings. AND WE HAVE A LIVE SHOW COMING UP! Follow us to stay up to date. Ep on YouTube: youtu.be/DevYtnZcUkU?...

“‘Harpooned By a Seaman’: contemporary romance with a shirtless man on the cover.” By Alice Lahoda Full piece: thebelladonnacomedy.com/genre-romanc...

“When they go low, we go mid. Anything higher would be performative.” By Carolyn Rabin Full piece: thebelladonnacomedy.com/wisdom-from-...

“We’re currently in Category Chad (symptoms including loudly yelling ‘I’M OKAY!’ and ghosting girls after chasing them).” By @sauleha.bsky.social Full piece: thebelladonnacomedy.com/male-lonelin...

“This is polyamory, not a democracy.” By Caroline Santinelli Full piece: thebelladonnacomedy.com/jane-eyre-di...

“Even the carnival barkers at The New Bark Times downplayed Monkey Hitler’s threat.” By Alice Lahoda Full piece: thebelladonnacomedy.com/when-i-voted...

“Don’t get up, just raise your hand if you think I would do totally fine in an elitist group based on hotness.” By Tessia Sue Phillips Full piece: thebelladonnacomedy.com/support-wome...

“You’re wearing shorts and a tank top? Perfect.” By @taliaargondezzi.bsky.social Full piece: thebelladonnacomedy.com/for-your-sum...

“Vanilla Folgers because I have yet to discover decent coffee.” By @brookeknisley.bsky.social Full piece: thebelladonnacomedy.com/miscellaneou...

“My younger self was wrong again!” By @lilyehirsch.bsky.social Full piece: thebelladonnacomedy.com/the-court-ov...

“Move into a retirement home. Live-in friends! Bonus: those guys hook up like crazy.” By Heidi Lux @kmaiolatesi.bsky.social & @kristenmulrooney.bsky.social Full piece: thebelladonnacomedy.com/ways-to-make...

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