One of the Sandy Hook families lives in hiding 1500 mi away from their baby’s grave due to people stalking them. The graves of multiple children have been defaced. One of the fathers had to submit DNA evidence to prove his son was a REAL HUMAN BEING after Alex Jones’ book said he never existed.

Sorry to be overly sincere for a second, but here's why we decided to persevere through all of the bullshit and take over InfoWars. There's just gotta be a line somewhere. Thank you @pablo.show for letting me talk so openly about this.

The Onion has reached a deal to acquire Infowars • It will be turned into a parody site of itself • Has the support of the Sandy Hook families “A lot of people gave up on doing the right thing over the last two years. Despite an insane amount of threats & bullshit, we persevered" (via Variety)

Swollen RFK Jr. Warns Americans Not Eating Enough Bees https://theonion.com/swollen-rfk-jr-warns-americans-not-eating-enough-bees/

I would like to talk more about how ICE shot someone else yesterday and he is in critical condition! The coverage is really horrifying because DHS is giving a similar story to the one they gave about Renee Good and so much news coverage is just buying it. Please talk about Carlos Mendoza Hernandez.

MOST THREES IN A SEASON BY A HORNET KON 261 KEMBA 260 Congrats, Kon Knueppel!

The and 1s leader...

Little late huh?

this man loves to touch refs. he cant stop touching the refs.

Expanding is the wrong move. Relocate two teams. I've got a slam dunk answer. New Orleans - without a doubt this franchise needs to move. Then it's either Memphis or Washington. Attendance last year put Indiana and Milwaukee at the bottom too. But recent success has to keep them put.

Dog’s Eye Gunk Wiped Back On Dog

How have I never seen this clip lmao

We are the enemy of the world.

We bombed an elementary school

We're forever on Fuck Matt Bevin

Please don't vote for this fraudster. He'll be a terrible President

Eat shit, lol, and long live The Onion.

In a rewatch of Mad Men and Pete Campbell is TVs greatest competent idiot

He started a war, didn’t know how to win it, was immediately over his head, became quickly overpowered by an enemy he vastly underestimated, and now is trying to sue for peace and then convince you that this was a victory. Dying empires produce leaders like this

It’s as easy as shutting your effin mouth! And did I mention… it’s free?!

Chick-Fil-A Announces Two Halves Of Buns Must Be Married Before Becoming Sandwich https://theonion.com/chick-fil-a-announces-two-halves-of-buns-must-be-married-before-becoming-sandwich/

Kansas' going with the mega-galaxy brain late-game fouling strategy and still allowing a routine layup for the win is so funny to me

This is literally the only thing i have the bandwidth to read about today

Perfect

BANG

Dudes first 2 pointer could end up being a GW for High Point. It's fucking MARCH

Regardless of the obvious, he also just said plainly that people with learning disabilities and dyslexia are dumb. Love to be alive in the cruelest timeline.

Ryan Coogler has won his first-ever Oscar. See the full winners list: bit.ly/OscarWins26

The difference is stunning!!! Couldn’t be more obvious the PEDOstein does NOT care about our troops!

This is Amy Madigan and Ed Harris refusing to applaud Elia Kazan's honorary Oscar in 1999. During the Blacklist Era, Kazan named names. Good on Amy and Ed.

Really disrespectful for them to continue awarding Best Animated Short after Kobe won

13 deaths in relation to Iran. I wonder if that death toll resonates with Trump voters? It's the same number of deaths from Benghazi that they hounded Clinton over...

Let there be as much outrage from politicians in Washington when kids go hungry as there is when I break bread with New Yorkers.

Rest in power Breonna Taylor. Today, we mourn six years without her, and six years without justice or accountability.

HOLY SHIT. A dark money group, hidden behind a bunch of shell companies, is paying influencers thousands of dollars PER POST to attack @katmabu.bsky.social on social media a month before her election. Thank you to the people who declined the money and went forward with this. So who's behind this?

This is outrageously funny.

Could be Galadriel, but it very well could be another Elf or Human from the Mirkwood area. Lots of choices to create new and interesting characters. Not a lot is written on Aragorns journey to find Gollum. Gandalf and Thranduil are also involved in this time period.

I'm not going to comment on why this article exists, I'm going to ask why does anyone care about the 2nd highest scoring game? It's not a record. 100 is the record. 81 is the high mark in modern times, but not a record. Bam passing him or not is taking 2nd or 3rd in a list. Do you genuinely care?

Everybody knows

Bam Adebayo

The American right is heavily invested in the myth that progressives only oppose the war in Iran because we do not want freedom for Iranians

Really funny to hear all the takes that Kelce would go somewhere else. I get it, the NFL is a business but this was always going to happen. He's coming for one last ride. KC can bulk up this season and push for a SB in the window.

49ers stay in the window

Super Bowl LX MVP Kenneth Walker is signing with the Kansas City Chiefs, sources tell The Athletic.

Dick Vitale: "I've done several now Kentucky games... $22 million this team [reportedly has spent] in terms of the NIL for their players. I think in $22 million, they could have put together a better roster than they did. I really do." 🏀🎙️🔥

Literally doing the Israel defense when they were accused of the same thing in Palestine.

Tis the fucking season