Trump vs. The Beeb: Whilst it might make me conspiracy theory adjacent, how soon do we discover that some Trump symp was behind the editing of that (already dreadful) speech? Given how shit his speeches are, and the degree of malevolence he exhibits gleefully, why would it need bloody editing? 🤨

The beauty of that syrup was its ability, when upturned, to hold a decent portion of soup.

THERE IS NO AITCH AT THE BEGINNING OF AITCH, you absolute CHARPSCRUBBLER! #OnlyConnect

I didn’t know that I needed to hear Ade Edmondson, singing the lyrics of ‘Relax’, to the tune of ‘My Grandfather’s Clock’. But it is now apparent that, obviously, I did. And it was rather splendid. 🤩 #ISIHAC

Back from the brink… 😎 Wordle 1,605 4/6 ⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜ ⬜⬜🟨⬜🟨 ⬜🟨🟨⬜⬜ 🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩

If they only knew how to zoom in, they might just be able to make out the red poppy too....

Me, flirting

Twatting hell. 🫠 Wordle 1,604 6/6 ⬜⬜⬜⬜🟩 ⬜⬜⬜⬜🟩 ⬜⬜⬜⬜🟩 ⬜⬜🟨⬜🟩 ⬜🟩🟩⬜🟩 🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩

“You boy, where’s your fucking poppy?”

“Where’s your fucking poppy?”

“Where’s your fucking poppy?”

Resting bitch face 👇🏼

Considerable flukemanship 😇 (Mornin’.) Wordle 1,603 3/6 ⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜ ⬜🟩🟨⬜🟩 🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩

Dictator - fucking LOVE you guys! Oh, and I made a Grand Design - *proud face* 🤩

I’m not watching tonight (in Salford for a gig), but feel like I am, thanks to you funny fuckers 😁👌🏼 #totp

Heading to Salford to see Dictator tonight (the most excellent band, not the Seething Satsuma [other dictators are available]). Traffic is so cool and fun! 🫠 Still, it’s another opportunity to pretend I’m not utterly clapped out… Woohoo! 🥳😎

Got bored at work. An old ‘un, but golden. Evening 😁

And by the way… I fucking LOVE this track 🥰 open.spotify.com/track/1c66AP...

There have been 263 UK prisoners released in error over the last year, but apparently it's only newsworthy when they happen to be a non-UK national. Offenders are not more dangerous by virtue of being 'foreign'. Media outlets need to stop helping the far-right poison our discourse with xenophobia.

How many Sainsbury’s Granola Squares is too many, in (for example) ten minutes? Asking for a fiend* 🤓 *yep. Me.

Just got the ‘Gallery’ theme from ‘Take Hart’ in my head, and started singing it, audibly, to myself. Hello.

Samir Zitouni the rail worker credited with saving multiple lives during mass stabbing on a train, “critically unwell“ in hospital is who Farage/Reform/Lowe & Tory Katie Lam would deport.. Lucy Connelly convicted for race hate is what right wing view as a hero He saved lives she wanted them taken❗️

Seriously can’t quite believe he won; it’s almost like I’d assured myself that it just couldn’t happen… Bloody did, though. Thank you, New York! There’s another hefty dollop of that much-needed hope! 😁🤘🏼

😎😎😎😎 GOOD THINGS CAN STILL HAPPEN 😎😎😎😎

Hot water bottles, though… you know. Isn’t it? Marvellous. #HotWaterBottle #DontMindIfIDo ☺️

I'm just asking questions.

(Just before sex): And now: is it clearer with… or without?

It really wasn’t though, was it, Tesco? 🤨 theory of relativity, right there (see? Actual *science* - you’re veh welcome.) Ho ho fucking ho.

Wirbles wabble but they don’t full ever. Maybe? #CallMyBluff

Shuffalo, 1m 46s 🟡🟡🟡🟡 🟡🟡🟡🟡🟡 🟡🟡🟡🟡🟡🟡 🟡🟡🟡🟡🟡🟡🟡 🟡🟡🟡🟡🟡🟡🟡🟡 🤩🤩🤩🤩🤩🤩🤩🤩🤩 www.newyorker.com/puzzles-and-... Ooh… I like this game 😎🤘🏼

“You ain’t seen me… right?” 🤨

Roses are red, (This one’s for the berks…):

I am eating some apple. I am also being watched… 😁

Pretty sure that’s John Craven at the top…

My canine overlords require promenading and emptying. How is one to refuse such dignified requests…? 😁

A film you’ve seen more than seven times, with a GIF ⬇️

What he said: 💯 🎯

Yes, I am sharing my result. No, I don’t have many friends; what of it? 🤨 Wordle 1,596 3/6 🟨⬜⬜⬜⬜ ⬜🟨⬜🟩🟨 🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩

Wordle 1,595 5/6 🫠 ⬜🟨🟨⬜⬜ 🟨🟨⬜⬜⬜ ⬜🟨⬜⬜🟨 🟨⬜⬜🟨⬜ 🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩

Well. Connections can fuck off until the end of fucking time. Mornin’. 😊

Put the tax burden on the obscenely rich: a tiny increase will make faff all differences to them, yet raise so much more than hitting hardworking folks. It’s so bleedin’ obvious 🤯 💚

Currently fizzing some popping candy chocolate in my gob at work, so today isn’t all bad 😁 #GetYerKicksWhereYerCan

Currently fizzing some popping candy chocolate in my gob at work, so today isn’t all bad 😁 #GetYerKicksWhereYerCan

Why did they call it an AI generated picture and not a 'fauxtograph'?

X is a cesspit led by an unhinged billionaire who is desperately trying to stir up civil war in Britain. Nobody with any sense or decency should be there. No organisations, government departments, or politicians should be there. Everyone who is, is enabling this monster.