I’m a journalist

Pretty gross when you see a 3 inch long pubic hair at work

Did my husband tweet this?

You have 11 unread voice messages

Bring back the education system

Martha Stewart taught me how to fold fitted sheets when she should have been teaching me how to inside trade

Eating spoonfuls citymeatmarket.com/cdn/shop/fil...

Don’t let me drink ever again

She refuses to give me the chair

Bob playing peekaboo

My weird cat being a weird cat

Sorry boss can't make it today, it's beneath my dignity x

City of Sickos

confirmed

Tis the season sluts

I am persuasive

I hope your Halloween was beautiful 🎃

deal

Asking my husband to action my intelligence

It’s my birthday today say happy birthday Tina

My husband is trying to take me into the wood to get eaten by a bear

It’s my bday year, stay awake with me

I spend my days scratching cats

This is gonna be me one day

Butter chicken sauce from the dollar store is 0.5/10

Me and the homies trading "hell yeah"s back and forth

Birthday plans include: 👣 Go for a walk in the woods&collect leaves 🍁 Press leaves 🥘 Get Halloween lunch 👧 Tiny comes over 🏬 Tiny & core 🐻 go to the store 🍲 Get bday dinner 🎂 Get bday cake ✌️ Tiny leaves What else is missing

Team Aileen

Big and Baby jack-o’-lanterns

My anguished children

Turkey salad is so good but so mean (it gave me shits)

Gonna smash our pubic hairs together

I was not made to work. I was made to lounge

I don’t wanna go for work

Day 2 of drinking tea like a good girl

I got a raise at work but not the $5000 raise I’ve been gunning for

Canada post is on strike and holding my $200 gift card as hostage

Key to a good marriage: 1. Be a good listener 2. Be a giver of gifts 3. And work that vajayjay

We’re basically there but im doing it anyways

Convincing my husband to let me build floor to ceiling cabinets

My conservative ass, religious ass, prudish ass sister sent this to the fam gc which includes my mom

My husband just told me to leave him alone

adulthood is basically buying the same 5 groceries every week until you die

Also can we appreciate the hate display in the bath ground

Give me sweater weather ☕️

Cancelled all our camping plans this summer How was your summer?

What should my come back skeet be

The weed man lives with me now

Him: get on top Me *after eating too many snacks*: I can’t