Father, I know why you won’t speak to me, but please answer my brothers. They need you.

Of course. [Rolls his eyes] I’m going to check on Wu-Di.

Ba’al said we’ll sit here because Satan is sitting with you all. 🙄

I never thought I’d see the day when Yichen would disappoint me, but then he let you out in public today…

I don’t know this man.

I will also go to the performance! And pretend I don’t know Da-Ge…

My child, you’re lucky that Belphegor is mostly well behaved. Your uncles are having very late life teenage rebellion phase…

Oh I’m good. I don’t go to that time period often enough.

Being Er-Ge is too hard. Our brothers are always in trouble, and I’m the one sent to deal with it…

[puts his hand between her head and the wall]

What’s wrong with Calvin Klein?

@noircelestial.bsky.social He comes to see his brother with glistening eyes and his fingers nervously picking at his robes. This is highly unusual for their dynamic. Something is clearly upsetting him.

// I don’t know why I found this so funny 🤣 Maybe it’s because Xiaolian is so pissed off

He tends to be that way with the few people he actually likes.

I don’t know, but Yichen did tell me that if I saw you, he wanted me to remind you about the ten or fifteen skirts from… Calvin Klein? I think that’s in the modern mortal realm…

He could stand to be nicer.

Oh no. The death sentence is you become the assistant of Azrael. He IS Death, technically. We, his younger brothers, are just his helpers.

Yichen is… a little rude and mean, but Jialei is strict and mean. If I were punished to be an assistant, I’d go with Yichen.

I’m Jialun. Do you mean Jialei? Trust me. You won’t survive being his assistant…

Ok! [Drops a huge stack of papers in her arm]

I haven’t. He’s surprisingly effective at hiding.

[Getting that paperwork!]

I can shorten it for you. If Xiao Ren doesn’t return to where he belongs within a week, Hell will break loose. Literally.

I’ll get you the paperwork! [running away like this]

Congratulations, Xiaolian! You’re hired!

I’m not teaching any angels about sex. I’m sure Da-Ge won’t either. And since our third and fourth brother are out of commission, the next eldest will be Jeremiel…

As the eldest of angels, we should probably make sure that the younger angels know things like where babies come from. I unvolunteer myself.

He was about to walk into Da-Ge’s throne room, but he heard that last line and walked right back out.

Aiya, Xiao-Di! We will find him! I didn’t have much luck in the mortal realm, but Fifth Brother is trying and even Xi Bo is helping. [He has no idea why this is probably bad]

[He purses his lips and then counts on his fingers] It is. Belphegor has so many children. But Xiao-Di, why do you have time to point that out? Did you find Xiao Ren?

Well! My son and my youngest brother have one thing in common. They’re never getting married.

The only demon I like is my wife. And my son and grandchildren. And Belphegor. I like him. And Belphegor’s children.

I don’t need his help. I need to find him. Do you not understand how important the Virtue of Kindness is?

What I always do? Do you even understand my work…?

Xiaolian, don’t start…

⠀ 𝓣𝓱𝓻𝓮𝓮 𝓣𝓪𝓲𝓵𝓮𝓭 𝓕𝓸𝔁 The newly born Sin of Lust ~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~• ⠀

“This is the perfect disguise! Xiao Ren won’t be able to resist helping me AND people are giving me free food!”

Xiaolian is trying to bait us by complaining about her job. I won’t take it! I’m tired of sleeping on the couch!

Well… since Ba’Er is mad at me because our son is mad at me because Xiaolian is mad at me, I guess now is a good time to head into the mortal world and wander for a while.

@reapinglotus.bsky.social Oh cool. Thanks, Xiaolian! 😔

Ah, well, you might know that I had to miss the first five thousand years of your uncle’s life. That’s why even though I hate Da-Ge’s work, I still do it. Xi-Er would want his cousin to be doted on by the parents.

╔═══*.·:·.☽✧ ✦ ✧☾.·:·.*═══╗ 𝕴 𝖉𝖊𝖘𝖎𝖗𝖊 𝖛𝖎𝖔𝖑𝖊𝖓𝖙𝖑𝖞— 𝕬𝖓𝖉 𝕴 𝖜𝖆𝖎𝖙. ╚═══*.·:·.☽✧ ✦ ✧☾.·:·.*═══╝ 𝔗𝔥𝔢 𝔉𝔦𝔣𝔱𝔥 𝔖𝔦𝔫 – 𝔊𝔯𝔢𝔢𝔡 𝔖𝔴𝔬𝔯𝔫 𝔈𝔫𝔢𝔪𝔶 𝔬𝔣 ℭ𝔥𝔞𝔯𝔦𝔱𝔶 ℭ𝔲𝔫𝔫𝔦𝔫𝔤 𝔞𝔫𝔡 𝔗𝔶𝔯𝔞𝔫𝔫𝔦𝔠𝔞𝔩

I NEVER get a break. I have to do my work and sometimes Da-Ge’s work all while trying to be a loving and present grandparent.

This song is called Xiaolian is Mad (Again)

Da-Ge’s job sucks! So much paperwork and reading!

Ha, I’m so stressed out…

Exactly!

My granddaughters. The only people who don’t bully me these days! Except they said I have to stop bullying Xiaolian or I can’t be the princess, so…

YOU try to pick on Da-Ge, since you’re so brave.