Mike Stephens
@mikestephens.bsky.social
📤 1274
📥 147
📝 1716
I call myself the blond Christian Slater to compliment my acting career and insult my hairline
Maybe this kid will like hockey
7 days ago
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I think everyone should have kids but man hearing my boys argue in the basement is so damn tedious. I know the older one is overreacting but I also know the younger one is being a dickhead and now I gotta go play peacemaker cause they can’t just watch Octonauts in peace.
10 days ago
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Finished rewatching Stranger Things ahead of the final season coming out. The show really rests on the laurels of the first season. Really agonizing rewatch past season two.
17 days ago
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Mike Stephens
ErniePurcell
17 days ago
This is the right wing equivalent to batting for the cycle
add a skeleton here at some point
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We’re really playing fast and loose with the sounds of letters when it comes to pronouncing the name Joaquin.
17 days ago
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I love the fantasy elements of Pluribus, like an altruistic species or being able to have an entire grocery store to yourself.
19 days ago
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Watching Land Before Time with my kids. It’s well past time they were forever traumatized.
19 days ago
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Mike Stephens
CHOAM for the holidays
23 days ago
CLAIM: The government is run by a secret society of pedophiles RATING: FALSE. This society is in no way a secret
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Uber keeps sending me push notifications about their services. Dude I’ll use you when I’m going somewhere but I’m currently a 39 year old father, I don’t do shit unless it’s a child’s extracurriculars.
29 days ago
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Gotta be playing in the NHL if you want to be considered an NHL player. He’s not currently and it was agreed upon by 32 teams that he’s not after he went unclaimed on waivers.
add a skeleton here at some point
about 1 month ago
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Had my kid sort and count out his candy (it was his school homework) but also made him pose like it was a drug bust
about 1 month ago
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Man I cannot wait to dig into the shit as fuck leafs now. We’ve been letting those assholes off the hook cause of the new hotness but now it’s time for the hate to really flow.
about 1 month ago
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Mike Stephens
I Hate My Favourite Teams
about 1 month ago
I don't know the next time I'll be that close to sports joy again.
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Sad in a group
about 1 month ago
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Mike Stephens
Jessica Ellis
about 2 months ago
Tried to sneak a photo of a cute doggo and accidentally had long exposure on and I believe I have created man’s greatest expression of art
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I have a working theory that all my sports misery can be avoided by turning off the team currently pissing me off and rewatching 2001’s Band of Brothers.
about 1 month ago
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Winnable game they pissed away
about 1 month ago
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Baffling challenge
about 1 month ago
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Typical give up early in the second period
about 1 month ago
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You know who better have a great game tonight after (rightfully but very pointedly) calling out the stars and the coaching staff? Anthony Stolarz.
about 1 month ago
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Mike Stephens
I Hate My Favourite Teams
about 2 months ago
A deal is a deal sports gods.
add a skeleton here at some point
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Poor from Nylander there, not great from Stolie either. Oh well.
about 2 months ago
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Refs are hilarious. A clear face/head injury and they don’t want to stop play because the Kraken have the advantage. Dude safety. Safety.
about 2 months ago
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At the risk of upsetting the Italians on here, Carlo has been fucking brutal tonight
about 2 months ago
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Mike Stephens
Sean McIndoe
about 2 months ago
Not sure I've ever seen a goalie pull the "knock the net flying so the guy who just ran over you can't hide in there" move before.
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I wish the league would protect all goalies but Anthony Stolarz in particular.
about 2 months ago
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This should still be a power play for the Leafs, I don’t care what Stolie did. Marchment is a piece of fucking shit here.
about 2 months ago
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Chris Tanev old man barely any contact injury? Fuccck
about 2 months ago
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Oh my fucking god what a laser by JT
about 2 months ago
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Tavares and Nylander have played so much together that they share a brain out there sometimes. Tavares’ brain to be clear.
about 2 months ago
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Rielly good shot
about 2 months ago
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Hit my toddler with renditions of B-I-N-G-O and Old McDonald back to back and he lost his fucking mind. You woulda thought it was Freebird followed by… another Freebird based on his reaction.
about 2 months ago
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Mike Stephens
onion person
about 2 months ago
we love edgy jokes about gas chambers and rape unless it’s jokes about charlie kirk dying, which if you do that, you’ll be punished and deported and free speech revoked
add a skeleton here at some point
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Me: I wanna go to Goochland Restaurant Wife: we have Goochland at home
add a skeleton here at some point
about 2 months ago
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shocked the Leafs didn’t take a penalty before Knies did.
about 2 months ago
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Leafs are absolutely gonna concede a third one soon here.
about 2 months ago
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Fucking leafs
about 2 months ago
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Dude, fuck off
about 2 months ago
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“Enh enh boo boo, you are a lo…sing bad guy team” - 6 y/o’s appraisal of the Nashville Predators.
about 2 months ago
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Glad our handsome Swedish right winger has three goals in three games.
about 2 months ago
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Calle Jarnkrocket Richard
about 2 months ago
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This assumes that the centre left party ever get back into power and chooses to punish the offenders as opposed to reaching across the aisle/working with them
add a skeleton here at some point
about 2 months ago
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Cowan sitting again tonight. Just send him to the Marlies, Craig
about 2 months ago
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Mike Stephens
Sen. Lemon Gogurt
about 2 months ago
usually takes more than one game to learn that. your wife is a prodigy.
add a skeleton here at some point
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At my son’s insistence, I’m watching Kpop Demon Hunters. It’s actually pretty cool, decent fight scenes.
about 2 months ago
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John Gibson might not be the answer in Detroit
about 2 months ago
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Remember when the Jays beat the Yankees with like 37 relievers
about 2 months ago
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Haven’t been watching but how does Matthews look?
about 2 months ago
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Leafs called up Cowboy, hell yeah
about 2 months ago
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I’m officially an old man. I might be helping to coach my son’s soccer match today and I’m stretching before heading out so I don’t pull anything in warm ups
2 months ago
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