Please don’t put “electrocution” in the past medical history of an alive person

If you put an allergy to contrast dye on someone’s chart that says “elevates blood pressure”, I assume that you hate them and want them to die.

What’s the deal w bird watchers You just pick an animal and watch it What’s up w that, why

I’ve been put on a PIP that involves me never saying “impossibly thin iPhone Air” to a patient

Can we please focus on the real story of the day, the impossibly thin iPhone Air

Do you think the NRA will hold a rally there

an article asking whether it's feminist to use AI? i will get right around to reading that, but first, would you join me in the cellar for a moment? i have a lovely new cask of sherry of dubious origin i'd like your opinion on

Why is anyone still getting gastric bypass surgery

Have a headache during pregnancy? Have you considered High Dose Opioids?

What happened in January 2025 lol

It’s v interesting how many medical students have adult onset ADHD. Should look into this.

lmao they actually did it

this meal gave me pancreatitis btw

had a pt w electromagnetic hypersensitivity diagnosis on my schedule today but they no showed presumably they didn’t get our appointment reminder text message

rip to everyone whos become delusional after talking to chatgpt but im built different. like actually different. according to chatgpt im some kind of god. the one who decides

“I am not impressed by the level of stenosis present” I am not impressed by your attitude buddy

Eating raw oysters is an example of the sort of thing I will do without a functioning public health apparatus to tell me not to.

“It says that your MRI was denied because you haven’t done physical therapy” “Yes” “Did you do physical therapy after that?” “No” “Okay” “Can you order an MRI?”

Why is anyone still taking warfarin

“You may be just a cog, but you’re a rare and expensive cog.“

Newsom reminds me of this guy (complimentary)

Never in 1 million years would it occur to me to name a syndrome after myself, why on earth would I want that

Honestly can’t think of a bigger red flag than not liking mayonnaise.

I finally did it, I asked radiology to rule out severe hip OA on a patient with a total arthroplasty.

I’m not going to stop eating carbs just so I can live longer in a life without carbs.

Newsom is fine he’s just not nationally electable. Democrats need to accept that they need a Large Midwestern Man.

How do I block anyone following >1k accounts

Why would I not want to retain fluid, fluid makes me live

Being an orthopedist is the best job bc you can just tell people their pain is coming from a different bone sorry that will be $50

If you made an EMR change that actually reduced clicks by 20%, most doctors would take that over a $20k raise.

It would be so embarrassing to have a job where you even had to entertain the hypothetical that it could be replaced by A.I.

The answer was “severe pulmonary hypertension“

“Past medical history: Cardiac problems”

Child: “Daddy daddy come play with me!” Father’s Wormtongue AI: “why do you lay these troubles on an already troubled mind?”

I’m not saying I’m smarter than everyone else, but my job is literally rotating shapes in my head.

They should invent a drink that makes you tired and angry.

You deserve better than to train/practice in Florida

Every time someone tells me that ChatGPT told them something now I bend over and do the ace ventura butt tarzan thing.

I will “gotta hand it to em” the trump administration if getting lead back in our gasoline also means we get 4loko back.

If u are wearing a Zoll LifeVest u are not in the right clinic.

There is nothing that makes a primary care provider angrier than being asked to formulate a clinical question.

I simply must understand the brain that refers to neurology for low back pain. This behavior must be studied.

Beer in the trach stoma

Lost in the burrito taxi discourse is that before like 10-15 years ago you were only expected to order in pizza, Chinese or Indian food. If you suggested that someone should deliver McDonalds to your house they would've thought you were insane.

Your elderly patient right after they were discharged on blood thinners

They should invent a drink that makes you feel good and also act like an idiot.

It's the only thing I know that makes every single person I show it to laugh very hard.

when they close it all up, I do believe this will go down as the funniest video on the internet

When I bill Medicare for more than 3 trigger point injections in a rolling 12 month period that’s #Resistance.

doctor in the doctor’s lounge just whispered into his phone and siri responded at full volume with “REBA MCENTIRE IS 70 YEARS OLD”